Tragedy For Start Own Journey: "Ordinary People" By Diana Evans

Foreshadow is used in Ordinary People to indicate events that occur later on in the book. During his meeting with Dr. Berger, Conrad talked about how he doesn’t normally let out his anger, but when he does, there is too much of it for him to control. He told Berger it was as if there was a man in the closet of his feelings that didn’t even know. Berger told him, “Only way you’re ever gonna get to know him, is to let him out now and then”. A few nights later, as Calvin and Conrad were decorating their Christmas tree, Beth came home with news from Carole Lazenby that Conrad had quit the swim team a month ago. When asked why he didn’t tell them he quit, Conrad couldn’t control the wave of anger that struck him, and burst at his mother, “I’m sure I would have told you, if I thought you gave a damn!” (109). Conrad’s chat with Berger foreshadowed his fight with Beth, where he released the “man in the closet” and let out more anger than he would have liked to.

Another example of foreshadow was embedded into the story during a party at the Murray’s house that Calvin and Beth attended. At the party, Calvin casually mentioned to the other guests in conversation that Conrad still sees a psychiatrist. Upon hearing this, Beth ushered herself and Calvin out of the party. She was appalled at what he had told the other guests, and said it was a “violation of privacy”. Calvin, not having thought anything of the matter, questioned, “Whose privacy?” but she didn’t respond. During their fight about Conrad quitting the swim team, Conrad claimed that she only cared that he quit because she found out from someone else (Carole Lazenby). Beth wanting Conrad seeing a psychiatrist to be kept private from the other party guests foreshadowed her being upset that other people knew Conrad’s “private” information, and ultimately shed light on how she was uncomfortable about Conrad’s emotional struggles.

After his brother, Buck, died in a sailing accident, Conrad became depressed and was hospitalized. When he came back from the hospital, he tried to live his life the same way as before, and did what other people expected of him. He took on his old schedule, and rejoined the swim team with his old friends and coach. However, he soon realized that this schedule was not suited for him and that he didn’t enjoy swimming anymore, but he was scared to quit because he didn’t want to look stupid to other people, or have them think that he was messing up his life. Despite his fears, Conrad came to the conclusion that quitting the swim team was what felt right to him, and it shouldn’t matter what other people thought of his choices. He thus chose to quit the swim team, and despite his coach Salan’s harsh reaction, he stood his ground.

This was a major step towards beginning to rediscover himself because he accepted the fact that good choices for himself wouldn’t always look right to others, and what felt “normal” for him wasn’t the same as what others might have expected from him. Another stride of progress Conrad made was getting past his guilt over Buck’s death. Ever since Buck died, Conrad felt that someone had to be the blame for it, but Berger explained to him that there was no purpose in his death, just that it happened, and there was nothing he could have done to prevent it. Conrad realized Berger was right, and that he no longer had to punish himself for letting Buck die, nor did he have to try and be like Buck for the sake of those around him, which was essential to finally being able to feel like himself.

After Beth and Calvin returned from a visit to Beth’s brother’s house, Beth packed and left the house on a trip to Europe. Throughout the book, she struggled with admitting to imperfection- rather than acknowledging her problems, she pushed them away, and pretended they didn’t exist. Calvin, on the other hand, had always recognized and accepted it whenever he needed help. This difference in mindset was was the fundamental reason why Beth left Calvin. This was made especially clear starting with an argument they had while they were still at Beth’s brother’s house, where they discussed their different viewpoints about Conrad. Beth still hadn’t forgiven Conrad for what he had done to himself, and when Calvin offered to help her feel better, she responded, “Help? What do you mean, help? I don’t need it. Not that kind of help. I can help myself”. Although Calvin has accepted that he and Beth need help working through their issues, Beth is still in denial of this. It would have been pointless for Beth to stay because she would have likely held her stubborn stance with Calvin, and no progress would have been made in terms of her adjusting her perspective in order for her to connect with Calvin and Conrad. Leaving the house may have actually been a wise decision for Beth because it might be able to help her to gain a fresh perspective on her life, and eventually help her move forward with her relationship with Conrad and Calvin.

After Buck died, Conrad went through many of the stages of grief, but eventually he was able to accept what happened, and stopped blaming himself for it. Whenever he was reminded of Buck, he used to feel pain. But one day, as he was strolling through the streets, he saw a travel poster that said, “Ski the Laurentians!”, which reminded him of a time he and Buck had a good time skiing together. Conrad was expecting to feel the stab of pain he was used to feeling whenever he thought of Buck, but instead, he felt a pleasant, joyful feeling as he reminisced of their good times together. This moment is an example of Conrad moving on from the pain brought on by Buck’s death, and instead focusing on the good times they spent together while he was alive. Another important part of Conrad finally coming to terms with what had happened was learning to no longer feel guilty for Buck’s death. For a long time, Conrad felt as if he had somehow been a reason that Buck drowned, but with the help of Dr. Berger, he was able to finally accept the fact that Buck died, and there was no reason for it, nor was it anyone’s fault. After he recognized that Buck died, he was able to appreciate Buck’s life and he no longer had to punish himself or suppress his emotions, so he could finally feel at peace with everything that happened.

If I were to include one song on the soundtrack of the movie, Ordinary People, I would choose Clair de Lune, by Debussy. I feel like this song represents the struggles with his identity and emotions Conrad experiences throughout the book. The beginning of the song is a sweet and pleasant melody, but without much going on. This reminds me of how Conrad followed directly in Buck’s footsteps when they were younger- he was a good kid, just like his older brother, but never really learned about himself and discovered his true identity. Then, there is a sudden dramatic part in the song that I feel represents something tragic happening, as if the whole world was in despair. Here, I think of Buck’s death, and Conrad punishing himself for what happened, causing him to push away his feelings.

Next, there is a passionate buildup, where I picture Conrad’s journey in recognizing Buck’s death as something that has happened, not for any particular reason, and finally allowing himself to feel. With this comes a wide variety of emotions, including dark and intense parts, but also happy and uplifting parts, which is like Conrad learning from Berger that in order to feel joy, you must also feel pain. At the end of the song, there is a reprise of the beginning, but with certain notes changed, which may seem imperfect and wrong to some, but complete and beautiful to others. This is where Conrad realizes that changing things about himself that feel like good choices to him should not be viewed as messing up or failing, despite how it may seem to others, but rather a decision made that helps him to discover his true self.