Negative Relations in Dear Sylvia, Dear Hugo: An Analysis
I’m going to write a feature article about the short story “Dear Sylvia, Dear Hugo”. The subject in my feature article is bad relations and especially how they start.
Sylvia and Hugo have a bad relation in the story. The family of Sylvia attacks the house of Hugo, because Sylvia said that Hugo hits her mother. Hugo hits the mother, because the mother of Sylvia ripped the curtains off. The link between my article and the short story is the bad relationship, just like Hugo and Sylvia. Hugo things it is a road to happiness with Sylvia, but is getting worse. The house of Hugo got attacked by the family of Sylvia, so it is maybe not the road to happiness. In my feature article I want to make clear that not every relation is perfect, so it is not the road to happiness. The purpose of my feature article is to inform couples. Also my target audience are couples. And especially couples with a bad relation or a time out. In this feature article I want to achieve that partners know what to do when the relation is unstable and that talking one of the most important things is in a relation.
How bad relationships arise
Unfortunately there are many couples with a relation like Hugo and Sylvia. Around 50% of all the couples in America have a bad relationship with each other. There are multiple reasons for having a bad relation. The top five reasons why relationships turn into bad relationships are; too many expectations, conflicts, no compromises, children and not spending time together. To prevent your relationship to turn into a bad relationship it’s very important to talk with your spouse. When there is a lack of communication the chance of getting a bad relationship is extremely high.
One of the most common reasons are the expectations. In any relationship, spouses have expectations from each other. The expectations in every relationship are different, some people are expecting a lot and other people are expecting less. But in some cases the expectations are way more different than reality. Nobody is perfect, so your partner isn’t perfect too. Don’t expect that your spouse can do everything. If you expect a lot from your partner, the chance of a break up is a lot higher. So, make sure you talk about the expectations from each other.
Another common reasons for a negative relationship are conflicts. In an ordinary relation conflicts are the most natural things in the world. Just like Hugo and Sylvia, the conflicts can be violent. But in some cases the conflicts can be just a disagreement. In both cases it’s important to talk about your problems. When your partner doesn't want to talk or the conflict is still going on, search for another solution. The best solution is a time out. In a time out you and your partner both choose their own way. The time of a break can differ from 1 day up till 6 months. Of course a time out can be way longer than half a year, but that’s the decision of the spouses. After a time out you can have a positive conversations and the conflict is probably solved. If the struggle isn’t solved yet, maybe a breakup is better for both of you.
No compromises can turn into a negative relation too. Of course it is normal when a wife and husband don’t have the same opinions. In some affairs two opinions should turn into one conclusion. A different opinion can be about a small thing but also about something giant. A small disagreement is really easy to solve. For instance about a TV program. Much bigger disagreements are more difficult to solve. For instance in the story Dear Sylvia, Dear Hugo. There is a very big chance that there will come a breakup. A big problem can be the money. When there is a break up the possibility becomes higher that there will be a clash about the money between Hugo and Sylvia. In this case a good way to solve it is talking with a specialized person. Wishes for children become bigger when you are in a long relation. When the wife is pregnant, you buy clothes for the baby and you make a baby room. But a child can affect the relation negative. It sounds weird but children can really affect the relation. Of course they don’t choose a divorce or break up awarely. Parents can have strong disagreement about the bringing up of the children. For instance about food. The father wants a healthy lifestyle, but the mother is okay with unhealthy food. There must come a compromise about the food of the baby. Also for this problems there are multiple solutions for solving this. But also in this case the best solution to solve it is talking. When your wife is pregnant, go talk with her and make appointments about the bring up of your baby.
Spending time together is one of the most important factors in a good relationship. Spending to many or not enough time together can turn into a weak relation. There must be a good balance between spending time together and spending time alone. How many time everybody wants depends on character. Make sure you give your spouse enough time and when he or she wants more time give it to him or her. Make a reciprocal agreement about this topic.
To conclude, there are five big reasons for a negative relation. Too many expectations, conflicts, no compromises, children and not spending time together can turn into a negative relation. Of course there many more reasons, but this are the most common reasons. To prevent a break up or a divorce it is very important to talk with your spouse about problems in a relation. If there is no solution after a conversation with your partner it would be a good plan to talk with a specialized person. A specialized person who can help you with relation problems. A good conversation can lead to a road of happiness.
