Ancient Wisdom: Modern Application Of Being Straightforward

Ancient Jewish wisdom from 200 CE indicates loving straightforwardness is a key to professional success. Commentaries on this value indicate that to be straightforward it must be done in a caring way. Being straightforward requires both courage and sensitivity. Telling it like it is demands being up-front and delivering a straightforward message. It takes courage and it demands tact and timing and must not leave a path of destruction. And this is where the use of 'softeners' remains a valuable tool.

Softeners act like buffers helping to ease any possible impact that telling it like it may cause. For example, saying to an employee: 'Your sales for the month are down 45%', may result in undesired consequences. The addition of a softener could sound like this: 'I know it will concern you that your sales for the month are down 45%. Are you able to suggest things that you can do to increase in sales?' Softening is definitely not sugar-coating bad news, but makes a meaningful contribution to continuing improvement. There are a good number of techniques that will assist you in getting your point across more assertively and straightforward both at the office and in your own private relationships. When you learn to employ these methods effectively, you'll know how to communicate your expectations and needs without poisoning your relationships with others.

Below are 3 fundamental straightforward techniques that are useful in a number of situations:

Using "I" Assertions

An "I" assertion is the least complicated of these techniques which consists of essentially stating to someone what you believe, feel or want in a simple and straightforward way. Here's how you could use "I" assertions:

• "I must get out of the office by 5 p. m. later"
• "I would like to catch that new movie this evening"
• "I don't feel comfortable doing that".

The most important element of a successful "I" assertion is to be crystal clear and straightforward when you express yourself. It's deceptively basic, but will make sure that you get your thoughts across while preserving control.

Empathizing With the Other Person

A significant aspect of being assertive is to evaluate the other party's preferences and demands and make an effort to balance it out with your own. E. g.:

• "I know that you're busy, but could you help me out with an urgent task?"
• "I understand that it's hard to supply at actual date, but I would like your best determination".

Typically, it's possible to diffuse a challenging situation before it arises simply by showing the other person you're empathetic of their needs.

Highlighting the Discrepancies

Highlighting the inconsistencies between what was previously understood and what is actually going on is an effective method to nip a possible issue in the bud. Here's a model of highlighting the inconsistencies in practice:

"Before when we talked, the two of us established that I was to spend more time on working with existing clients. Now, you're making the request that I go out and land additional clients, so I'd like to clarify which of these you truly want me to concentrate on". Effectively, what you need to do is to rise the terms that were agreed upon before and contrast it with what is transpiring now, and provide the other party the ability to clarify their stance.

Any time you're employing one or more of these assertiveness techniques, your nonverbal communication is as meaningful as what you actually verbalize. Keep in mind to approach every straightforward endeavor with both sensitivity and courage.