Comparison Of Parenting Styles Of The East And The West
Raising a child to be successful as an adult is the goal of most parents although everyone has their beliefs and methods. Eastern parents and western parents have different beliefs and philosophies as to how a child should be raised in order for he or she to become a successful adult. The common stereotypes for the parenting styles are that eastern parents are strict and overbearing while western parents are lenient and give their kids too much freedom. Amy Chua, a professor at Yale Law School published book titled “Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mother” in which she wrote a piece regarding the parenting styles of the east and the west her own experience as a parent. She wrote about how strict she was with her two daughters regarding their academics and how she acted in the stereotypical “chinese” way, she also gave her thoughts on western parenting saying that they struggle to speak to their children regarding their self esteem and not verbally assaulting them like chinese parents do.
The child rearing methods of western parents and eastern parents differentiate in multiple ways and the more lenient western method is superior to the strict eastern method. Hanna Rosin an editor at Atlantic who disagrees with Amy Chua regarding the way that parents raise their children. Rosin wrote a paper titled “Mother Inferior?” in which she gives her opinion on Chua and her beliefs as a parent. Throughout the paper she talks about her parenting style and compares it to Chua’s, she believes that parents who are too overbearing and expect too much are not model parents and that being a so called “tiger” parent can yield bad results; she mentions an incident she had heard about regarding a 16 year old who stabbed her mother to death because she had high standards. Rosin believes that children should be free and able to express themselves, the opposite of what chua believes, she thinks that a parent should not force activities on their kids but instead to wait for them to find their own talents and interests and help them develop those. She also mentions her immigrants parents who didn't have much which is contrast to her own children and how every child has difficulties and that it's the parents’ job to help them not force what they thinks is right on them. Towards the end of her paper Rosin states “The answer is not to aim for more effective child-perfecting techniques; it is to give up altogether on trying to perfect or children”. A parent who tries to make “perfect child” will only end up making a socially awkward person with self esteem issues, parents should strive for happy kids not robot with no feelings.
Another person who opposes Amy Chua's beliefs about parenting is David Brooks. In an article he wrote titled “Amy Chua Is A Wimp” he criticizes Chua's parenting style for focusing too narrowly on academics and not enough in social cognitive development. In the article he states “Managing status rivalries, negotiating group dynamics, understanding social norms, navigating the distinction between self and group-these and other social tests improve cognitive demands that blow away any intense tutoring session or class at Yale. Brooks believes that chua is incorrect in her parenting style and thinks that her strict methods and philosophy deprives children of skills and hardships that is learned by socializing; chua stated Sebastian 3 that she did not allow her children to have sleepovers and spent most of their time studying. By isolating children from other kids so that they could focus on their studies parents make it hard to work in groups later on in life which is often required in activities like sports and even acting careers. Parents should allow their children more freedom and allow them to figure things out for themselves so that they can learn important problem solving skills that cannot be learned in a classroom or while studying alone at home. If these strict eastern principles are forced into children they will grow up to be socially awkward adults who will have a hard time working with others. The strict eastern parenting style is too narrowly focused on academics and does not consider career paths with little use of high academic achievements. A career that the eastern parenting style doesn't provide preparation for is show business and entrepreneurial positions. Patrick Goldstein is a writer who talks about just that, in an article titled “Tiger Mom vs. Tiger Mailroom” he discusses how Chua and the eastern parenting style didn't account for children who wanted to pursue a career in show business. Many actors, filmmakers, and entrepreneurs such as Steven Spielberg, Steve Jobs, Quentin Tarantino and many others who are leaders in their industry never finished or even went to college.
Academics alone cannot secure a child's future it requires an accumulation of many different skills and experiences to prepare someone to face the hardships that come with life. The eastern parenting style forces activities and talents like playing the piano or the violin onto young kids without them being able to be free and find their own talents and skill. If a child has the innate talent of acting or playing basketball they will not be able to find much less develop that talent if they are not free to be themself. In the article it states “In Hollywood whether you were a C student or summa cum Sebastian 4 laude, it's a level playing field”. In careers like acting a college degree or a long resume filled with academic achievements will not guarantee you success. The more lenient western parenting style on the other hand focuses on a child's self-esteem and personal freedom so that they learn to be more creative and work well with others; with the time allowed to be themselves wester children are able to find their own talents and develop them with the support of their parents. Some may argue that the eastern parenting style is better because it yields better results in the academic department and that the western style is too forgiving and that the parents are too soft on their children. Statistically eastern children receive greater results regarding their academic achievements like test scores which some may say proves that the eastern parenting style is superior but that's not the only factor to be considered when raising a child.
Mental health is a big factor in whether a child will grow up to be a successful adult or not, if a child is constantly bombarded with insult every time they make a mistake or they don't meet a parent's’ expectations it will not yield great results. The western child rearing philosophy focuses on a child's mental health and self-esteem, western parents make sure they do not emotionally harm their children so that they grow up with little to no issues about themselves which will help them to be more successful adults. In an article titled “'Tiger Moms' vs. Western-Style Mothers? Stanford Researchers Find Different but Equally Effective Styles. ” by Clifton B. Parker where he discussed how a study in Stanford held by Alyssa Fu and Havel Markus showed that children of eastern and western parents had positive evaluations of their parents. In the article it was stated “The two cultures can learn from each other…” a parent should respect a their child's Sebastian 5 individuality while helping them develop their skills and talents instead of forcing their own ideals onto their children.
The job of a parent is to support their children through their struggles with a positive and supportive outlook making sure they have a good self-esteem and are mentally and emotionally stable. Parents shouldn't think for their kids and force qualities and talents onto them because it's what “they” think is right for them. Eastern parents need to learn from western parents to allow their kids more freedom and individuality. It doesn't matter if a child grows up with the highest academic achievements or with a college degree if they pursue a career where that kind of thing doesn't matter or become emotionally weak adult. Focusing on a child's own interest and talents helping them develop those in the best of your ability will make sure that your child grows up happy and successful as an adult with a good mental fortitude and a positive outlook of their parents and themselves.
