Defining What Constitutes My Individual
Who am I? Perhaps a collection of organs and bones - or is it the mere thoughts and memories of my subsequent life that make me what I am? A question so minuscule, yet, moves the minds of the greatest philosophers. The answer will likely vary from individual to individual considering their professions, ideologies and/or beliefs. However, once answered, the essence of such a pressing question is still not lost, a dissatisfaction remains with the resolution.
The three-word question almost seems as a rather exceedingly onerous imposition. When put to thought, I am unable to answer the most fundamental question of my existence, mainly due to its broadness which my finite brain finds hard to process. I think it is rather irrational for the question to have one true depiction and answer, it would be to put everybody into a box with a label, it simply cannot be done due to the complex yet unique functionalities of an individual. Accordingly, there is a major debate as to what actually constitutes an individual. I personally believe that there is an awareness within each person, and when all thought subsides, the awareness is felt.
As I began to write this reflective essay, I realized that I don’t particularly know who I am yet. Am I the person, in the deepest of thoughts, while I try to fall asleep? Am I the real me, at my worst moments, when I question every aspect of life? Or am I really the person that laughs out loud and cracks the silliest jokes with my friends and family and forgets all worries of life? In all honesty, I think I am all of that and more. I am my experiences, my beliefs, what I favor and don’t and most importantly, I am my memories. Our memories lie alongside our consciousness, though we are all physically different, we also experience life as distinctive minds and that is the most fundamental defining feature of our individualities.
Failures, accomplishments, heart wrenching moments and good music have shaped me into a strong, optimistic yet scared, sensitive and creative individual. I am forever changing; every day I learn a new thing about myself. I am a complex jigsaw puzzle and find new pieces to fit in every single day, and slowly but eventually, the picture gets clearer and makes more sense. Despite having said all that, I still do not fully know who I am. I may have a vague sense of self but I am not completely there yet and I doubt that I ever will be.
In conclusion, I am an individual of various components; so many that it is physically hard for me to pin it all down. But I will say, I am on a constant journey of discovering and putting together all the elements to the puzzle that is me. I am Bakhtawar, a jaunty, enthusiastic eighteen-year-old who hopes to stay motivated and reach a place where I feel a real sense of belonging, somebody who lives her dreams and is able to simultaneously make a difference.
