Does Divorce Always Hurt Children
Divorce is always harmful to the children in some way, even if it is both desired by the children and parents. Divorce is sometimes necessary, mostly in toxic households, while many argue that divorce is not an option. Divorce is always harmful to children because of fewer resources, visitation rights, and self-blame.
After the mother and father have split, it can be very difficult to make the total income of a two-parent household rather than just 1 parent. The result of this can lead to the need of government assistance, moving to a more affordable home, and reduction in expenses. All of which can put a financial burden on the parent and children. I know when my parents split, I then felt the need to start helping my mom pay bills and buy groceries. Which put an added stress for me to then work more hours, which left me behind in my school work. Most people feel as though that divorce will lift the stress on the family but, without enough finances it can put a burden on the parent left to figure it out. Most families then have to move to a more affordable home, causing children to leave friends and family. Now, the child has to start all over, which is easier said than done, especially for younger children because they get comfortable with the environment that they’re already accustomed to. Having to change is a big deal for the child, since there is already so much change going on at home.
Secondly, the absent parent now needs to try to remain in contact with their children, which doesn’t happen in many divorce cases. Leaving the parent with the children the full responsibility for everyday parenting, meanwhile causing a disconnect with the child and parent, the child questioning themselves “Is it me?”. Some argue the fact of visitation rights; you see the children one weekend and so on and so forth. But it’s never that simple, most women will keep their children from their father because of their own personal issues not realizing the harm that she’s putting on the children. The child is now wondering if their parent is neglecting them and abandoning them because they have yet to visit or call. Decreased contact affects the parent-child bond.
Finally, divorce is not always obvious to the kids then it is for the parents. Kids often think that it is their fault, there is a lot of self- blame. That happens especially when they’re too young to truly understand what divorce is. Younger children see things from their own perspective, and tend to see themselves as the cause of events. Kids have a hard time understanding divorce and why mommy and daddy are no longer living in the house. Kids often see things from a limited perspective. They find it very hard to put themselves in others’ shoes and will think they are the reason their parents are getting divorced.
In sum, divorce puts stress and worry on children, which shouldn’t be something they should have to worry over. It not only affects the parents emotionally but also the children. Children often experience distress, anger, and anxiety during these rough times, not knowing if they’re going to see the absent parent on their assigned weekend, be able to get the pair of shoes that they want for school, and possibly have the self-blame on their mind. Divorce causes emotional turmoil and shouldn’t be something took lightly.
