Parenting Styles: The Impact of Strictness and Leniency
I was always able to do a lot of things other kids couldn't, or I should say I could do things other parents wouldn't allow. Staying out late was fine, driving to Florida after having my licence for only a year was fine, and asking my mom for $100 dollars when I needed it was super fine. People always told me I must be so lucky to have lenient parents, but I always said that they weren't lenient, they just trusted me. Growing up with friends that had strict parents allowed me to witness that style of parenting. Usually, I seemed to understand where their rules were coming from, but at times they just seemed ridiculous to me. I think many young parents question the “correct” way to raise a child. Is it better to be strict or be lenient? Being that they are both considered good parenting options, there are still negatives to both. These parenting skills share similarities, but they are far more different from each other than alike. This is “lenient and strict parents essay” where will be a comparison of bith parenting styles.
Stating that there are positives and negatives to both styles, I will start with lenient or permissive parenting. I believe permissive parenting should be based on trust. Building a trust bond with a child should always be the goal in any relationship. Often times kids who are raised by lenient parents grow up with the power to think outside the box. Allowing a child to pursue what they want, helps build their confidence and faith in themselves. Instead of becoming a blind follower, the child learns to master his own fate. Growing up, my worst fear was to disappoint my parents because I knew how much they trusted me. Even though I could have gotten away with doing a lot of bad things, because my parents raised me with love, I always wanted to respect and please them instead. Of course there were times where I did make bad decisions, but because they allowed me to fall I was able to get back up and learn to never do it again.
Although there are numerous advantages to being a permissive parent, there are downsides to it as well. I believe often times kids raised by lenient parents may not get the guidance that they need because they are raised to figure it out by themselves. This may lead them to turn to their peers and gain negative influences. Moreover, another disadvantage is that the kids may possibly become underachievers due to the lack of being pushed by their parents. I remember there were times when I felt as if my parents just simply didnt care about me. I recall being out late with friends and their parents calling them over ten times to check up on them, while neither of my parents bothered to even call me once.
Moving into strict parenting, or disciplinarian parenting, I believe there to be many advantages. If the kids are constantly told right from wrong, it generally causes them to become well behaved. In addition, strict parents usually outlaw their children from participating in many things because they are concerned for their safety. By controlling their child, they hope to protect them from possibly making harmful decisions. Because strict parents are always on their child's case, there are always clear goals in the child's life. Furthermore, strict parents engrave the thought of always following the rules into their children's minds creating a sense of responsibility in their child. For example, I have friends that freak out over coming home just one minute past their curfew or from scoring a B on a test.
Likewise, strict parenting has its negatives. I think it is evident that by being too hard on a child it may cause them to have depression or anxiety from all the pressure. Furthermore, it may drive them to carry a low self esteem from all the demands to be perfect. It may also push them to always search for some sort of guidance or rules instead of thinking for themselves. Moreover, the environment created by strict parents calls for no flexibility in any situation. This may lead to tension between the parent and child because of the lack of compromise, trust and bonding. Finally, strictness paints a foundation for rebellion. If the child is always expected to do only what the parent wants it may cause them to want it their own way as well.
Over all, the two parenting options are indeed distinctly different, but they both are aimed to do what's best for their child. Each parenting option has benefits and along with that, it’s downsides. All parents should want their child to be happy and stay safe, but everyone has a different way of getting their child to that desired state. Strict parents may feel that it is their duty to pour guidance and advice into their child's life, whereas lenient parent just want their child to have fun and embrace making mistakes. I believe the best way to raise a child is to display both strictness and leniency at times. I think it wrong to attempt to completely control a child. They are a human being who is going to make mistakes. I am a firm believer that if love, compassion and trust is displayed in a relationship, than that will be reciprocated by the child. It is important to set rules and posses consequences, give them clear advice in order to guide them in the right direction, but is equally important to be their strongest supporter and friend.
