Love Story Begins With the First Sight
The real secret behind why we fall in love at first sight is because something in the way this particular person happens to look, has triggered a comparison in our subconscious mind to someone from our past who meant a lot to us. This is why I, for example, might fall in love with someone at first sight, while you might think they are just average.
The researchers aren't sure why this happens, but it begs more investigation. Might women be less inclined to this experience because they are more selective in whom they might date, as other research has shown? Men might, for example, report this experience with multiple potential partners. But whether this translates into relationships is another question.
Greek mythology has its share of love at first sight, usually caused directly by some god or goddess. Eros, after a quarrel with Apollo, got back at him by shooting him with an arrow that made him fall in love with Daphne at first sight, after he shot Daphne with an arrow that made her (in simplest terms) hate at first sight. Aphrodite, Eros' mother, because she was jealous of the beautiful Psyche, asked Eros to shoot her with an arrow so that she would fall in love with someone repulsive at first sight, but Eros ended up falling in love at first sight with Psyche. Narcissus was so beautiful that every man and womon who looked upon his face fell instantly in love with him, but he would always spurn such people and break their hearts. He was cursed to fall in love with his own reflection after spurning several nymphs this way. No matter who else got rejected by Narcissus, the last person is always Echo in an exceptionally cruel manner. Since she had the misfortune of getting cursed to repeat only what people said to her, it was a big problem when Narcissus needed directions to the nearest city. He had no way of knowing she was cursed, but it doesn't mean he should have called Echo an idiot and gone out of his way to avoid her. Rather understandable that Aphrodite considered this the last straw — especially since Echo was so in love with him that she couldn't bear to cause him harm, even to seek justice for herself. Hades and Persephone. A bit one-sided, but he (also) gets shot with Eros' arrow of love. Instant attraction and abduction (with her father's permission and advice) ensues. On Persephone's side, it was more she fell in love with him after the marriage. Weirdly enough, they end up the most stable (and presumably happy) couple in Greek mythology. It probably helped that he lavished gifts and non-sexual attention on her to genuinely win her over — and unlike Zeus, he never cheats on her. Just because he's the king of the Underworld, doesn't mean he can't respect his wife's feelings. It should be noted that in most versions she ate the pomegranate seeds willingly, so that she could stay in the Underworld and remain married to Hades. He also didn't cheat on her. While his ex-lover, the nymph Minthe, tried to seduce him away from Persephone, but nothing came of it. That's leagues above a lot of people, let alone Zeus or Poseidon. And when Persephone found out about the nymph's little homewrecker plans, Persephone squashed and ground her under her sandal and turned her into a mint plant.
Love at First Sight… It's a staple of Fairy Tales, love songs, and the Disney Animated Canon. Two characters meet, and fall deeply, madly, passionately in love with each other immediately. This is one of the most common story archetypes, probably going back to Greek Mythology. Here’s a love story for the ages! Goldie Hawn first laid eyes on future hubby Kurt Russell way back in 1968. They were on the set of The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band when she admitted to finding him ‘adorable’. The only problem? She was 21 and he was 16!
People say it happens all the time. If you start with personal testaments, love at first sight seems like the real deal. Prince Harry reportedly experienced it, saying he knew Meghan Markle was the one for him the 'very first time we met'. Portia de Rossi has said pretty much the same about Ellen DeGeneres, as has Matt Damon about his wife, Luciana. Of course, celebrities have no monopoly on the phenomenon; some evidence suggests that about 60 percent of people have experienced it. You probably have friends who swear this happened to them, or maybe you yourself just 'knew' in that very first moment you laid eyes on your current partner.
“With love, we’re talking about things like intimacy, tolerating somebody’s flaws, seeing them as a whole person and still liking them, and so on. That’s a lot of stuff that generally doesn’t happen in the first moment you look at someone,” explains Dardashti.
'Today I saw you and spoke to you for the first time. It was like an earthquake; everything in me was overturned, the graves of my heart were opened and my own nature was strange to me. I am forty, and I believed I had reached the autumn of life. I had wandered far, known much and lived many lives. The Lord had spoken to me, manifesting Himself in many ways; to me angels had revealed themselves and I had not believed them. But when I saw you I was compelled to believe, because of the miracle that happened to me.' — John Angelos, The Dark Angel by Mika Waltari.
To conclude, the idea is wonderfully romantic: two strangers see each other 'across a crowded room,' there's an instant attraction, an electric spark, and suddenly they've found their match and never look back. In a world where dating often requires a lot of work—that comes with disappointment, rejection, and uncertainty—falling in love at first sight has strong appeal.
