"Mother Pious Lady" - A Comic Satire On The Institution Of Marriage

The heading itself conveys many cultural traits and gender insensitivity. This phrase was peculiarly used by the Indian Matrimonial Ads and especially by the boy's side of the family to attract the girl's family. It clearly showcased that the Mother-in-law is very pious, dedicated and religious and is not evil and will love her daughter-in-law. It is a very insensitive phrase and it portrays that only the females in the boy's family can be evil and will always plan and plot against the Innocent Daughter-in-law. If the Mother-in-law is not evil, then the sister-in-law will conspire against the bride. Institution of Marriage has from time immemorial displayed a very negative portrayal of women.

A Mother-in-law is a negative portrayal and an unwanted character. Mother Pious Lady is almost like a qualification that will attract the bride. The individuals portrayed in the article are a good match of attractiveness and not of love, responsibility and commitment. The Indian Matrimonial ad gives a lot of weightage to physical attractiveness than emotional and mental qualities. The Indian Society on one hand is very orthodox and doesn’t let you talk about the ‘forbidden things but, something as intimate and personal as marriage is made like a transaction of two different cultural groups and the parents themselves try to ‘sell’ their children through an advertisement. These ads should have the candidates height and age mentioned. This trait is of ‘utmost importance’ in our culture as the girl’s height should be less than that of the boy and even the girl’s age should be less as compared to the boy’s age, only then will they be accepted as an ideal match for marriage.

The language that the matrimonial ads use is very insensitive and more like a business. It is often recommended that the bride-to-be must be slim and fair in complexion and ‘homely’ and should belong to a good family. Absence of one of these traits might invite more demand of dowry from the groom's family. If a girl is a bit healthy than the boy then the boy's side of the family, make the girl’s family feel guilty and show as if they are doing a great deal by accepting their daughter even with a negative quality and also now they have the privilege of asking anything in dowry and the girl's family has to comply with the demands and still does not give a confirmation of a happy married life. The bride may still have to face the music for being healthy and she may be traumatised and taunted by her evil Mother-in-law.

The bride and the groom are referred to as ‘girl’ and ‘boy’ in the advertisement, which clearly shows that they are still not eligible to take their own decisions and are still very young, even if they are not but, they are eligible for marriage and the responsibility that comes with the marriage. Horoscope and Photograph are also very important and generally the photograph is returnable as it can be misused. The girl's horoscope will determine whether the boy will have a good and healthy life or if he will die the moment he marries the girl no matter how good she may be. Girls are raised to be caring and kind towards others and should always respect their elders and should praise their in laws. They are raised to trust their parents decision and should always be happy in whatever their husband provides them with and in under no circumstances should question their husband. The parents always depend on some middleman who will bring a good match for their children and will take guarantee that the family is good and eligible for marriage.

In our culture a lot of importance and respect is given to that middleman. It is also necessary to disclose your caste and religion in the advertisement if it is the first marriage. In case of re-marriage people generally write caste no bar especially if the girl is remarrying. Our society is still not liberal when it comes to marrying in a different caste. It is also noticed in our culture that rejection and selection privileges are more often given to the boy's family. The moment the boy’s family becomes the selector, there is a hierarchy established. This puts a lot of pressure on the girl and her family to meet their expectations and fulfill their demands. In olden days, the bride and the groom were not even allowed to see each other before marriage but, nowadays some liberty has been given and now they are allowed to talk to each other for 5-10 awkward minutes. These 10 minutes were considered enough to know each other and spend their lives together based on these 10 minutes. Till date these advertisements give importance to physical traits for marriage whereas it’s the personality traits and nature attributes that decide whether a relationship would work or not. At the end of the day, the couple will not fight over height and weight issues but will fight over personality issues and the kind of person they are.

Marriage is a very important commitment for an individual and in our society it is still not an individual's decision. Rather the individual is not even involved in the process as the candidate is always considered as a minor who’s incapable of taking the right decision and it’s their parents who have seen the world and know the difference between right and wrong. The concept of matrimonial ads is stuck in time and there has been very little or no progression in the concept of marriage. Still parents prefer to advertise on matrimonial sites for decent matches and the boy’s family still has a lot of privileges and the girl’s family is still in pressure to abide by all the demands and still for the girl’s family her marriage is the primary priority and she should settle down in a good and a respected family before her parents die. Thus, till today matrimonial ads remain a trusted way of finding the right match for marriage.