Moving to USA or My New Favorite Place

Have you ever had your life completely changed in one simple question? The type of change that flips your world upside down, makes you rethink everything in your life, well I had, everything changed six years ago, on a Sunday afternoon. It was springtime, the weather was nice and warm, the kids were playing in the park and as usual my mom and I were sitting in the bench on the park in front of our house, watching the movement as the kids were laughing playing in the sand, and a harmless discussion coming behind us as the guys screaming in the court during their soccer game. I looked at my mom, as she had that look in her face, I knew it that she was there but her mind was far away, she looked at me and asked: “What do you think about the United States?” as she turned her attention at the kids that were still playing in the sand, I followed her eyes while still processing her question. The number of kids now went down a little as the sun started to set behind the tall buildings not much further from where we were, a minute went by till I could answer her question, what for me back then seemed more like hours “cool, I guess”, I answered her, as I turned my attention once more to the kids, playing with their sand castle. I looked back at my mom not understanding her question; why the sudden question? We had spent the afternoon together as we usually did during her day off- we went shopping and lunch in our favorite restaurant. I didn’t understand why now; why the USA? Almost as she could read my mind she replied before I could form the question, she said “ I am moving over there,” the first thing that came to my mind was awesome, but as I started to process the words that came out of her mouth, “I” she said “I” not “We”, as much as I loved the idea of having my mom living in another country, I wasn’t ready to live without her, my parents had just got divorced, however, they were still living in the same house, and not too long ago I almost had lost her to cancer, my attention returned to the kids, one of them now was crying with some sand on the face, I didn’t see what had happened, but I could guess he probably fell while trying to reach for something. I looked back at my mom that was staring at me, her expression was a mixture of exciting and something I couldn’t really tell back then, fear, of what I couldn’t really tell, before I could say anything, she asked me the question, the question that was about to change my whole life.

I stared at her, the woman that gave me life, my inspiration, the time went by, it looked like minutes to me, but only a few seconds went by, enough to me to see by the corner of my eye a bird flying off the tree next to us, she looked at me with the dark brown eyes, enough to get any lie out of me; what mom doesn’t have that look?, and she said “ You can stay here with your daddy if you want, I am taking your sister with me, but you can visit me ever vacation that you have, however, I am not making that decision for you, do you want to come with me, or do you want to stay with your dad?”. I looked at the guys playing soccer imagining if they ever pass through a situation similar, and there were a million things that I had to think about it, even so, all that came into my mind was nothing, my mind went blank. A few seconds went by as I started to process what my mom had just offered me, a chance that could either change my life or ruined. I never really thought about it, growing up in Brazil everything that I knew about the USA was the knowledge that the movies showed me, which wasn’t much. As a 14 years old girl, whenever I would think on the USA the first thought that came into my mind was Disney, my dream was to meet all the princess, and the illusion that everyone that lived in Orlando where lucky because they could go every day, later on, I came to realize that the truth wasn’t even close to that. I kept looking at the soccer game, a bunch of boys running around a ball and trying to get a score of it, all off them running against time as the clock didn’t stop, and the other boys that were sitting down at the wall anxious from their turn. The sun was starting to set in the horizon, the sky color with a dark orange as the night was approaching. I look back my mom now standing up, ready to leave, “ you don’t have to give me an answer right now, just think about it”, she leaned over to kiss me in the forehead, and I watched her cross the street and get inside our apartment, as she left it all started to sink in. I had an opportunity that most people would kill for. To move to a better place, to try a better life. The noises of the background became whispers, and there I was sitting in the park, on the same spot that I had gone for years now, but everything is different. I was about to start high school soon, with the same friends that I had for over eight years, move to the USA would mean to have to start all over again, to a culture that I didn’t know, and I language that I hated. I started to remember my English class at school and how much I would complain that I couldn’t understand, that crazy language made no sense to me, and for years I refused to learn, and there I was contemplating the idea of moving to the one place where I would have to learn the language the I hated, and a new culture that I didn’t quite understand.

I got up and switched seats; now I could see the whole park from the new spot. The windblown in my face and brought the smell of the industry not too far from there, the smell was terrible as always, a mixture of burning rubber and paper, but I was used to it, it reminded me of my favorite place, home. I kept looking at the kids and the players, some kids leaving as their parents called for dinner time. I kept thinking in all the things I would have to live behind, my friends, my family, the whole life that I was used to, the same school that I went since I was five years old. My country, the place I was born in, and for what? I didn’t quite know the answer to that question, I was wise, as wise as someone can be on their 14 years, and for the past year I had grown so much, my mom’s cancer had brought us even closer than we ever were, and a responsibility that I didn’t have it before. I now took care of my little sister, the thought of her made the decision even harder, was I ready to live without her? And my daddy? We didn’t get along to well, but he was my daddy non-less, and the times we had together were amazing, he loved me, and I loved him.

I watched the sun set behind the tall buildings, the same ones that I had to seem for the past couple of years since we moved to that neighborhood, and I couldn’t stop myself to wonder if in the United States I would have friends or even I would be able to call that place home, because we all knew it, or at least I thought I did, that over there people like me, immigrants we suffer bully, and the idea of being alone scared me. Would I be alone? I didn’t know the answer, how could I? The idea of an American high school was based on the high school musical. What about the rest of my family? I wasn’t close to them, but they still supported me every time I needed them, but so did my mom, a voice in the back of my head said. I got up ready to leave as the lights in the park went on, the soccer game was still on, but at that time I didn’t care, because my decision was made, I didn’t understand how I got to that conclusion, I didn’t know what to expect, how it would be, but it didn’t matter, I was excited about what that new life would bring me. I wouldn’t let anyone define me, or scared me away, I would prove my worthy and that I was capable of many things, and with a certainty that I never ever had before, I got up, said goodbye to that day, and started walking towards my apartment with only one thought in my head. I am moving to the United States.