How A Death Of A Loved One Change Us: My Cousin’s Death

The loss of a loved one is always a tremendous tragedy for all of us. It is a difficult circumstance to survive and it is much harder to accept the way that you will no longer be able to see them. Everything related to the passing of a dearest one will be recollected, and you will battle courageously to accept the new circumstance. The main thing deserted is the numerous recollections that your beloved one had left. Lewis said in the opening line of his book” A Grief Observed”, Nobody ever told me that grief felt so much like fear. It’s a powerful statement.

Fear. But the fear of what? The fear of losing yourself, the fear of growing old alone, the fear that this intense pain will never stop, the fear of forgetting the sound of his voice or his laugh or that others will forget him that his life won’t have mattered. Grief makes you feel isolated, alone, terrified, damaged and scared of absolutely everything. The purpose of this reflective research is to provide an incident with credible sources and a personal experience. The article “How a Death of a Loved One Changes You” which is written by Jessica Wright, discusses the grief and pain of losing a beloved one and how excruciating it is to accept the fact that someone you love is gone. It was published in “The Mighty” which is a well-known magazine that aims to empower and connect people facing health challenges and disabilities. It was released on January 13, 2017. Wright is targeting the society in her article, mainly addressing people who are feeling down by clarifying to them her own experience.

Although, a death in a family or household can hold multiple effects on loved onesDealing with the title of the article “How a Death of a Loved One Changes You” I chose this topic because I’ve experienced the journey and knew the real significance of how hurtful it can be to lose someone special and I would imagine that nobody really knows how they would cope with the death of someone you were really close to until it actually happens. I totally agree with Wright’s message as she used the literal definition of death, describing the bad circumstances that can be caused to a person losing a beloved one by referring to an example to support her words, pointing out on death as the source that allows you to see the light. You feel lost, alone and terrified. Without darkness, you could never observe the stars. One by one, they start to shine, and before the sun is coming up and bringing with it light. It brings magnificence, expectation and peace. It sparkles more brilliant than you recollect and gets and skips off things you neglected to see previously. Death has a way of changing you. She’s exploring out her thoughts, focusing on the subject of death and insisting on the phase of denial and grief that she had been experiencing to support her claim. The same reaction took place in my thoughts as well when my beloved cousin passed away On August 8, 2017. She’s reflecting on the importance of taking the time to experience and deal with life’s losses and loves.

At the point when a relative passes on and it is someone that you have a nearby bond with it is something difficult to be managed. Things like this can drive someone insane. Just like in Jessica Wright’s article “How a Death of a Loved One Changes You”, she feared up from all the aspects of death and what goes up with it when it comes to the death of someone you love is a difficult thing to bear such as: pain, distress and anger. Just like Wright, one of the most memorable and disheartening moments in my life was the day of my cousin’s death. Things just kept getting worse. My saving grace was the talks that my cousin had with me. I never would have thought that losing a family member would be more difficult and upsetting. I discovered that there is no such thing as moving on. It’s a lie, it’s a made-up concept created by people who are too uncomfortable with death, sadness and grief but here’s the thing: it’s not their fault, they are only repeating what has became familiar to them throughout the years, what’s been taught to them by society over and over again. You need to move on is a phrase born out of centuries of ignorance and fear.

When my cousin died, I felt lost at first, I was battling depression already. I have often thought about what I would do if I could return to moments before he left. If I have this opportunity, I will tell him how much he meant to me, how his love for life, his dedication to his family inspired me and made me a stronger person who does an effort to think about moments of life where there is an opportunity for love, affection or empathy. More importantly, I was determined to correct the mistakes between me and someone I loved. and then this happened Apart from the sadness though, I found my own will to live that had a lot to do with finding out whom I was without my cousin and that shifted my sense of responsibility, it was up to me now. I wasn’t condemned; I chose to live my own life. These were hard and lonely times but in a strange way they set me free. Free from social circumstances that never have been right. Now what I’ve experienced may sound exceptional but in the end we are all going to experience loss, everybody is going to lose a beloved one someday.

For me, it just happened way too soon and that looking back on the past months, I think that what I’ve learned comes down to three things. The first, you are so much stronger than you think even if it feels hopeless. Life took over and I strongly believe that life will always take over. The second don’t cling to the safety instructions. Don’t rely on expectations and plans too much that may sound scary but the outcome may surprise you, it could set you free. And finally, bad things in life don’t define you, you define yourself, maybe you can try to turn the things that seem to set you back into things that help you move forward. And for me that’s what my cousin’s death has reflected. So yes, my beloved cousin who I still miss everyday may have died in a car accident but I didn’t, I’m still here. To Conclude, I want to say that the message that we need to make contagious in the hearts and minds of people. The message that will change people’s minds and in turn change the world, Is that all good things are born out of love and that great things will happen when we continue to tell the stories of who we have lost, who have died. And it doesn’t have to be on this grand of a scale, each of us can be the person that change’s the message for someone else about grief, love and loss. That is how change happens. One person, one mind at a time. We are all going to die at some point, and we have no choice about that, but we do have the choice to talk about those who have died.

So let me ask you this: When you die, do you want to be forgotten? Or do you want the people who love you to use that love to create a life for themselves filled with joy, purpose and meaning. Isn’t that what you deserve? Isn’t that what we all deserve? My wish for every one of us is that when our time is up, the people who love us never move on, the people who love us, tell our story because if we get rid of the people who we love, then they are really gone. But if we tell each other stories, and if we use that love to create more love and to multiply each other’s worlds, then nobody ever really dies.