My Fears In Communication With Others

Fear is an unpleasant emotion instigated by the idea that someone or something is either dangerous, likely to cause discomfort or a threat. When I think of the word ‘fear', I think of an emotion that is caused by an unpredicted situation. Everyone has experienced anxiety or fear at some point in his or her lives. Some are just momentary instances whereas others just remain, troubling them forever.

There is one part in my life that I briefly recall. I don't remember when or how it exactly started but I had this fear of losing close friends or family. I vividly remember having dreams about either relatives or close friends crashing, falling off of cliffs, burning, etc. I have had many such dreams but the scariest I can remember was about my grandmother. I had a couple of dreams about her where I believed that she passed away. The dreams never showed me how because they were about my family members consoling me and breaking the news to me. I always woke up scared and uneasy after having nightmares like these, and I never got used to it. I believe that this reason made me fear losing people in my life more than others.

Everybody perceives actions differently according to their thoughts. Some people are excellent at speaking publicly and they feel a sense of pleasure in doing so, while others prefer their own company when working or doing other leisure things. I feel like I am an introvert who prefers being alone most of the time. I am comfortable being alone in my room for long periods of time whether I am binge watching movies, or doing my college work. I, personally, prefer writing assignments and analysis papers from doing group works and presentations, even though they require more energy and time to complete. I believe that most people hate being alone because their loneliness kicks in. This is not a big issue because we, as humans, are social creatures who are interdependent on each other. As the saying goes, ‘Better the demon you know that the demon you don't', I believe that a person needs to become comfortable with their loneliness because being alone is inescapable. While others may dread being alone, I find it to be completely normal and enjoyable at times.

I feel like my whole life has been filled with unnecessary anxiety and I believe that it controls my life whether I like it or not. I always find it hard to be the first one to talk when interacting or making friends with people. This might be because of the social construct and the way society believes that first impressions are important. I can never go up to a person and start a conversation but I feel that I am an approachable person and I can talk to people if they initiate. I also find it very difficult to keep a conversation going with whomever I talk to. I never know what to say because I feel very conscious about my words and my conversations usually end in awkward silences, which make my fears worse.

Fear is something we ignore and we let it develop in us because of this reason and lack of knowledge. We let our negative experience define us and fear to repeat similar incidences, which stops us from trying and experiencing new things. It is hard to overcome our fears especially when we don't know the exact reason behind them but it is never impossible. I believe that everyone can face their fears and anxiety with the right help and support from others.