My Jealousy To Mum Because Of Sister

According to the dictionary, jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity , fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety. Jealousy can consist of one or more emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness, or disgust.

But for me, jealousy is not just for love that consist of two opposite lovers. We can feel jealousy in every situations. One of my example is our family. We can feel jealousy the way you think you are precede by someone. Being self-centered, selfish and competitive is part of jealousy for me. You don’t feel jealous if you have trust to others and to yourself that its not the way you think. Sometimes we just apply to ourselves our emotions, the jealousy, we just misunderstood the situations, we just tortured ourselves to think or feel that we shouldn’t do.

When I was a child, I used to be so jealous over my younger sister. I don’t know, I’m just a kid before, I don’t even know what was going on around me before. My younger sister is always the best for my mom. She’s always the favorite and the one who always look after while me the always annoying child. Sometimes, I thought of something maybe I'm just adapted. As the mind of kid, I always cry alone because my mom had lack of time with me, to look after me, maybe to love me too. That’s all my thoughts before. I always asked myself what’s none of me that she had. I’m her child too. I’m just a kid, my mindset are to shallow. I’m just focusing to myself, what I feel, but not others feeling. I’m so selfish.

I used to pass my anger to my younger sister. I feel bad to my sister thinking about this situation before. As I grow, I just keep inside of me the anger that I have. I don’t want to feel it anymore, I don’t to think of it anymore and I don’t to open up to my dad what’s on my mind, what I feel. My dad is always at my side. We are super close like I even tell to him what’s happen in my day or my problems but this time I didn’t because I know my mom and dad probably fight for it. My dad is always take my sides. That’s why I just keep it inside because I don’t want to affect my relationship to my family in just jealousy. I didn’t think of it anymore. I just think that my mom probably has reasons for it and I know she loves me too. I just think I misunderstood the situations.

I realized that being jealous over something will not give me good effect. I just focused for being positive minded. I can say that the essence of jealousy is proving one’s concern on another person. Because we didn’t jealous if the person shows our jealousy is not important to us. I can say that being insecure and fear to lose someone you love is part of jealousy.

I understand that it has reason that’s why my mom is overprotective and she’s always look to my younger sister is because she’s a really sick person. My younger sister has abnormality in talking in speech. Her body is delay to grow and to develop. She’s delay in puberty that’s why my mom is acting like that and I was so ignorant. I was so self-centered that even the situation of my sister I didn’t mind, their feelings. I understand that we both need the love of our parents and we both need the care. I learned how to be generous and how to be good siblings and child. I know my lesson now after all.