Negative Effects Of Divorce On Children
In the United States, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples divorce. (Harrington and Buckinham) With such a high rate it is important to understand the effects on families. Many studies have been done on the negative effects on children, however divorce is not the worst scenario in fact, when the relationship has failed it is better for the child for the parents to split up rather than to stay together. Parents who fight or are abusive to each other affect the way their child views his parents as well as himself and his future.
“The legal dissolution of marriage by a court or other competent body” divorce. In other words the separation and break up of a married couple. This is best for parents with a abusive and hard relationships, but if the married couple had a child how will they handle this separation when they don't know what it is. (Amy Morin), a psychotherapist and mental strength trainer, explains that “divorce increases social disorders like conduct disorders, delincy, and impulsive behaviors.” Also the children may experience more conflict with peers after the divorce happens. In some cases it could be long lasting and can go into adulthood. The result in less success in terms of education, work, and romantic relationships may be caused by the parents divorcing for some of the young adults. Also for the young adults who have experienced divorce, have more difficulties than other young adults that didn't experience divorce. (National Child Development Study of Great Britain), have found that young adults who had parents divorce has children are more likely to leave home early, have a lower level of education, and become pregnant at a early age. (Judith Wallerstein) Older children going through divorce have more mental health problems through the separation and divorce when their going on towards their adulthood.
Stress, depression, angry all mental side effects for people with problems in their life. Divorce is a stressful time for anyone going through that time. The initial reaction of most children are shocked, sadness, frustration, anger, or their just worried. D’Arcy Lyness a licensed child and adolescent psychologist said, “these reactions are normal for a child the change the separation all of it they don't know or understand what is happening to their life. Most kids for the first couple years after the divorce experience distress, anger, anxiety, and disbelief. Younger children don't really understand why they go to two different households to see one parent. The children feel if the parents can stop loving the other parent that parents can also stop loving, making them more depressed and scared of that thought. (Lyness) “Grade school children think that the reason for the divorce is because of them, and they fear that they did something to cause the divorce”. Teennagers may become angry and mad about the divorce that they can start misbehaving and even stop loving both parents on some cases. Older kids and teenagers are more vulnerable to risky behaviors such as alcohol and drug use, skipping school, and other defensive acts.
Waking up with parents fighting and then going to a place called school. Where they tell a child directions and what to do and how they have homework to turn in the next day are things a child is going through in divorce. Maybe even the child is getting bullied and doesn't want to stay at a certain school. Amy Morin says “in some cases having to move somewhere new means that the child has to go to a new school”. The bullies identify the most vulnerable and insecure kids in their peer group to pick on, children who are upset or withdraw because their parents have separated don't act has normal towards friends or family. Knowing that the child doesn't take school has serious, that's even if the children go to school because some that get bullied, to not get bullied try to avoid school by not going. Children of divorced families score lower on achievement tests and have worse grades than children with both parents. Also the children have a higher truancy rate and higher dropout rates because they are to worried about what will happen to them and their families. Some children have slightly more behavior problems, and are more likely to suffer from anxiety and depression. Children with parental divorce are left susceptible to depression, acting out, and sufferening problems academically.
It has been awhile since the divorce has happened the child now knows that mom and dad will not be getting back together, what now what will the child do now. Hal Arkowitz, from College of Science for Psychology states in his book The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study that “children have very fast recovery.” For example in research that Arkowitz helped, found that children experience short term negative effects, like anxiety, anger, shock, and disbelief. But these effects usually disappear by the end of the second year of the divorce, only a minority of kids suffer on a longer term. Very little changes between children with and without divorced parents have any social problems with their academic achievements, emotional problems, and behavior. Most of the children's behavior comes from the lack of parenting and more so the divorce. No mom and no dad to help with the recovery makes the children look for other options to talk to and help them out . For example a different family member,counselor, or a friend, because mom and dad are to caught up in their divorce. They have no time to lecture their children about what is happening and why their getting a divorce. With that in mind the children start acting and are not acting themselves act school or home. But having the support can work if the right support is their for a child in rough times.
Children of divorce have a harder time during divorce than after the divorce. It can sometimes be better if the two parents separate, it is better for the child, has well has for the parents. Divorce does not always damage the child. Sometimes the parents splitting is the best part for the child and the parents. In a long term divorce a child will adjust with the parental separation. Before the separation the children are often upset, but after the speartion children can be getting better after about a year or two, this is after the separation has been done and everything has been finalized. That's why the divorce part could be the best part. But having the split happen can be hard for not having has much resource for the parents. Paul R Amato a sociologist from the University of Pennsylvania State, reviewed a literature that compared children with two parents and children that experienced divorce at a young age. They followed these children into teenage and adult years, by seeing and measuring their academic achievements, behavior problems, and self concept. What they got from their research was that the kids with divorced parents had very little change with children with married parents. Suggesting that a vast majority of children can make it past the divorce pretty well. The children feel like it's their fault for the divorce and in most cases it isn't. Divorce is mostly the mom and dad not having the same love has they used to have and separating. Has the child they feel unhappy, not loved, and unaffectionate in their household. For a divorced family being in a divorced household can make the child suffer more than they already are, and in that case being in two separate households. Also not being able to be in the same household. Different households makes a big difference with the attitude and how the child acts when they are in different houses.
Divorce is better when their not in the same household. Two homes where there is no constant arguing allows the kid to be more of kid without, having all the stress and negative effects of one household. The two households may be a big change and challenge but it's better without the fighting. Less fighting means less stress on the child and the child's mood could change for the better. For the child, they are gaining a valuable skill which is to compromise. They get the skill when the child see the parents co parenting and working through the divorce together. Another thing they teach the kid is personal happiness, they get this from showing how important happiness is during the divorce and not being so unhappy.
Divorce could be the best or worst part for a family. The best thing for a family with abuse and verbal conflicts. Worst if the child had no say and didn't want the divorce to happen. The things that come with divorce are great and bad, some people can get more done or are to caught up with the fact that mom and dad no longer love each other. Even though divorce separates the parents the child that is in the middle may feel left out and hopeless leaving them with behaviors that they didn't think could happen. Behaviors like depression or anxiety. For a child they might not see the signs that a divorce is coming and could catch them by surprise. The way the parents help out with the child that might not understand is best so that both the parent and child can get past this rough time in both their lives.
