Parental Love In Those Winter Sundays

Is it really that troublesome to be a parent? Parenting is frequently misinterpreted by those who do not play the role of a parent, making it a difficult topic to understand from another perspective. In Robert Hayden’s poem “Those Winter Sundays,” he communicates that parental love is complicated and is often unappreciated.

Through the speaker’s father’s efforts to provide for his family, Weatherford exemplifies how daunting the responsibilities of parents are and how their actions are done out of selflessness. For instance, the speaker’s father is illustrated as having “cracked hands that ached / from labor in the weekday weather” (3-4). Being stuck with perhaps a low-income job, the father constantly experiences discomfort and has to overwork himself to provide a safe, warm environment for his family. This suggests how considerate and self-sacrificing the father is because even though he can take breaks, he still chooses not to and instead gives up his comfort for the sake of others. Moreover, while revealing the subtle deeds his father did for him, the speaker explains that his father “had driven out the cold / and polished my good shoes as well” (11-12). The speaker’s father is very mindful and thinks of his family first rather than himself; additionally, he commits many subtle acts of kindness without expectation of reciprocity, which highlights the love the father has for his son. Clearly, this further illuminates that the father ultimately desires the best for his son because he provides his family everything he is capable of and sometimes gives even more than that. When someone chooses to bear the burden of parenthood, they no longer have the privilege of putting themselves first and will have to make sacrifices, ultimately going through hardship.

Furthermore, through the speaker’s tone, Weatherford portrays that it takes a while for a child to acknowledge their relationship with their parents. For example, the father did many things for his family, however, “No one ever thanked him” (5). This blunt sentence, as if it were an afterthought, implies that the father’s actions were taken for granted; also, this line underscores the father’s isolation since his love was sadly never recognized by anyone. The speaker’s ungrateful attitude also breaks through, and he basically confesses that, as a child, he was half-hearted and cold towards his father. In addition, after reflecting on how he spoke indifferently to his father, the speaker questions himself, asking, “What did I know, what did I know / of love’s austere and lonely offices?” (13-14). “Offices” indicates services performed for another, implying that the father’s life only revolves around serving the speaker; moreover, full of regret and bitterness, the speaker hates that he was ignorant when it came to his father and hates how he was never able to grasp the struggle and sacrifice that came with parental love. This last question further leaves the impression of unresolved feelings in the speaker and this intricate relationship with the father that possibly never had the chance to heal. Parenting is partly a collection of small yet endless tasks, most of which are overlooked by the very person for whose benefit they are done.

“Those Winter Sundays” demonstrates the reality of a parent-son relationship and delineates how parenting is truly lonely and laborious. Even more, its emphasis on parental love reminds individuals that they should learn to appreciate their parents, or else they will only see their parents’ value once it is too late. After all, “We are so busy growing up, we often forget that they are also growing old” (John Spence).