Pecularities Of My Graduation Project
My graduation project consists of poems that are mined puzzling, heart wrenching, and have a focus on the art of poetry. These poems are free writing of different types of emotions I have experienced. I will write about the everyday, step-by-step process for writing what I was feeling during unusual events in my existence. Honestly, as I wrote, I felt a better understanding of myself. I had no judgment, didn’t follow any regulations, and was just true with myself. As I would awaken every day I’d ask myself not what I need to write, but what I wish to write. This self-reflective time sheds light on my experiences, and jumps back and forth from tragic to joyful.
In this essay, I will be sharing my experience and my development from my project. Well, it’s my senior year! There are many things to look forward to this year such as prom, graduation, and my first stepping stone in life: college, and then the real world. Before I can do all those things, I have a few tasks: getting good grades, graduating and my graduation project. After battling over two topics, I finally chose one. I went with my heart and chose a book of poems. To be honest, I procrastinated on my project for about a week or two. Shortly after realizing that time was moving rapidly, I decided to get started. I needed a pencil, seventy sheets of paper, a laptop, and my experience. These things were the perfect tools for my job. I knew what my goal was and was ready to tackle it. Nothing was going to stop me. Unleashing my mind, my hands followed in the tracks of my creativity. Writing is my second nature. This time, no teacher would be telling me how to write or what style to write. I was a creator, making art, and making life in my own form. I was in complete control, sitting there quietly, which helped me as I figured out other problems.
The lesson I wanted to learn from this project was to be a better writer and a better poet. I wanted to be more open and express myself to the point where people would be shocked or intrigued by what I wrote. My main reason for picking the topic of writing poems is that I love taking words and writing them into something beautiful, or using a topic that many people would try to avoid.
I wrote thirty poems in thirty hours. This was an easy plan. Some days were just frustrating. I was practically driving myself crazy to compose the words from my intelligence into poetry. Those days I hated the most, but those days I gruelingly wrote deep touching poems. This was exhausting. I realized writing poetry actually was stressful and challenging, and also a lot of tough writing and thinking.
When I was halfway through my logs, I noticed a significant growth in my understanding of past and present events and how I have grown because of them. I was more relaxed, writing more poems, and touching base with my emotions. I never thought that I would experience happiness and a stress free attitude. I can honestly say this is the best project ever. The reason why it was the best project is because it caused me to freely write my thoughts. I did a little bit every day and it was something I was good at doing. Even though I thought things were going to go great, I had some fear. I asked myself “What if my book of poems isn’t good enough? Will I get the grade I need to pass?” Fear is an emotion I needed to overcome in writing. The only thing I could do was my best.
About twenty two hours into my logs I felt like a changed person. I noticed that I was more into literature, reading, books, I felt more creative, and had a more positive view of life. Writing about my feelings had given me more to look forward to. Life is full of many unexpected things. There is much wonder and beauty. There is still hope out there, so I was not going to give into fear. My book of poems made me realize that I can see things brightly and in detail. I can even say I actually see a positive future for myself. I’ll have an opportunity to have a great job, a big house, a fancy car and a beautiful family. When I read my book, it’s like I’m looking in the mirror, and having a full blown conversation with myself. Mentally, I actually feel healthier from this.
Finally, my book was finished. I chose a name: “Open.”
I had found a way of venting when I write poetry. The main ideas I spoke about were mainly deep and touching to me. Only a few stood out due to their quality of imagination and individuality.
My log was finished and my book complete. There are thirty poems; a summary of moments in my life and views on many vast topics. I had let some of my thoughts pour out on paper. This is an overdone metaphor, but that’s the best way I can describe my work.
Well, now I come back to revisit the emotions about my project. I feel now that I did a great job and that I put in a lot of effort. It’s natural to be anxious, and I am. This book of poetry taught me that life will have many changes. I shouldn’t give up, and I will grow up and face them in the best way I can. I need to have confidence in myself. There is no easy way in life. Only I can ascend to the occasion and face any challenge coming my way. Only if I run away will I have ever-lasting failure. I can succeed by working hard and if I fail then, I’ll use that failure as a stepping stone to success.
I didn’t do this for my teacher (even though I love her), or the Department of Education, or for a reputation. I wrote for it myself.
