Reflection On Organizational Behavior And Leadership Course

When I was reading through the pre-class readings, I remember saying to myself that this course is going to be different, unlike any of the leadership classes that I have attended for my undergraduate studies, and I was a little intimidated. I looked forward to this course and I left the course in awe with what I have discovered for myself.

I used to think that being a leader is about how others perceive me as. Therefore, I cared way too much about the way I look, speak and most importantly, act. However, this course has made me realize that the peripheral aspects alone are not enough for leadership, more so, it doesn’t provide any access to the nature of leadership. I learned that to be a leader, being a person of integrity is fundamental. I used to give my words out easily and I would fail to keep them later. I tried to say “yes” to almost everything. I thought it was okay to do so as long as I don’t lose face in the process. I have discovered that having integrity affects the company’s performance and the relationships with customers tremendously. I have also discovered that I cannot just protect my own integrity. I have to look out for my colleagues and the company’s integrity as well in order to create workability and improve performance in the workplace. I had an enrollment conversation about this at my work a few weeks ago and told my colleagues how important it is to be a person of integrity. They all agreed and since then, we have been working to have integrity in what we say and do. The most favorable outcome of this practice is that we are now able to deliver our customized orders on time and established customers’ trust and loyalty. I am so proud of what we are doing now and I promise to continue practicing integrity in daily life as well.

Going back in time, everything was already laid out for me. I knew I would come back and work at my family business since before I started my undergraduate studies. I didn’t have a second plan. Therefore, I came back from studying abroad and just after a few months, my parents’ opened a new branch of our business, Jewelry shop, for me to take over. As convenient as it may sound, I faced a lot of difficulties and self-dissatisfaction. My staffs and I passed through every day waiting for the customers to come to us. Every day, we sat long hours at the shop with no self-improvement at all. I did not initiate nor put in efforts to promote the business. When I was not leading myself, how could I lead others? I knew the things I should be doing but I did not do them. I let my parents and staffs down. My mother would question me every morning during our car ride to work about when I am going to start trying hard and that I am not going to be successful in life if I continue this way. I was not happy and stressed. I realized that I have not achieved nor started anything on my own. I questioned myself what am I doing to improve myself every day and got no answer. It is natural that we become inauthentic when assessing our incapabilities. It is hard to admit the problem. I felt like I don’t have my staffs’ respect. I used to tell myself that as long as the shop is doing okay, it’s okay. All these questions and doubts about my ability created a context for myself and I wounded up being pessimistic which has resulted in doubting the abilities of my staffs as well. I tried to do everything on my own and got frustrated every now and then. Whenever there is a difficult decision to make or a difficult task to handle, my default context constrained me from doing my best. I was only 80 percent. It distorted the way the situations occur for me and affected my way of being and acting towards these situations. During six days of the course, I discovered that I need to realistically confront my past-derived default context and create a new context for myself. I need to identify and be willing to go beyond the way I wound up being. I cannot control the situations occurring for me but I have a say in how I perceive them and react to them. From now on, I will not be concealed by the “Veil of Invisibility” which will disintegrate me, rather I will act in the “Realm of Possibility” which will provide me with access to “free to be and free to act”. Furthermore, this course has made me realize that if they are not there for me, I cannot be where I am right now. Because of them, I am able to do what I am doing now and be who I am. I was stunned. The way I have been acting has had a huge impact on the people around me. We need each other to move forward to a better future. I cannot just observe from the stands and dictate what should be done. I have to be on the court together with the staffs, share the experiences, successes, and failures. Being a leader isn’t only about leading. I learned that I can be a leader by being a follower and by letting my staffs lead. Moreover, I realized that we have to create ourselves to be willing, able and ready to take on challenges and execute them. After I discovered this for myself, I woke up the next day feeling motivated and I could not wait to get to my work. I realized that we did not know where we were standing before so we didn’t get anywhere. Now, we have become one family moving towards the same destination.

Being in this course has pushed me to open up about myself in ways I would never have before. It has helped me collaborate with others and be true to myself. I realized that everyone has different perspectives or approaches to life. The situations occur for us differently, therefore, the ways we react to the situations are entirely different. Realizing this has helped me in becoming a better understanding person and made me welcome life enthusiastically. I am so thankful to have this opportunity to be coached by you and to have been provided with access to becoming a leader and exercising leadership effectively. Within this very short period of time, I feel like a different person. I feel free. I feel happier. I am still trying to be authentic about my inauthenticities and being a person of integrity in every possible situation by taking a bigger step every day. I already feel lifted from the perceptual and functional constraints I used to have. Before this course, I would never have opened up about my feelings to people that I am not close to. You have made me realize that I am not alone in this journey and there are so many people feeling the same way as I am. I realized that I don’t have to be perfect every step of the journey, I just have to carefully differentiate different situations and act accordingly by being cause-in-the-matter.

From today onwards, I will start creating the created future for myself. I will start seeing my life from the future, look back to the present, plan and create the future I created to be. I will not let the past interfere with the creation and realization of my created future. I will let go of the already-always thinking attitude and be ready to take on what life has to offer. Last but not least, I will not let rackets get in the way of living life to the fullest. I am so lucky to have been in this course and I appreciate every moment of the course. I will carry the four foundations of leadership close to my heart and promise to practice it every day.

11 February 2020
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