Breaking Social Norms Experiment: Reflecting on Table Etiquette

In today’s society, we have collectively created a variety of “social norms” that we use as guidelines to direct our everyday behavior. These norms are based on values and beliefs that we as a society claim to be normal behaviors. From the day we are born, we are taught informal rules known as folkways that influence how we interact with others and behave in social environments. Folkways are “socially acceptable behaviour, that we use in our everyday behavior”. Examples of social norms are being respectful to elders, saying please and thank-you, holding the door for the person behind you, and the list goes on. When a social norm is broken, people tend to react different towards those committing the act, as it may be something they are not used to. For this paper, our assignment consisted of breaking social norms and writing about how people reacted. I decided to break the social norm of dining etiquette. My boyfriend decided to take me out to eat, and I chose to use this opportunity to break a social norm and observe how people around me react. As soon as we arrived and were brought to our table, instead of normally sitting across the table from my boyfriend I squished into the booth with my boyfriend. The waiter looked at me with a strange look and proceeded to ask if we would like anything to drink. Instead of letting my boyfriend respond, I said “2 waters with lemon and a straw…pronto”. At this point I was able to tell the waiter was a little uncomfortable, so I decided to move over to the other seat.

When the waiter returned to our table to take our order, I decided to place the order in a louder voice, which caught the attention of those sitting around us. People seemed to get a little irritated, and just gave us strange looks. As soon as our meal was served, I began to deconstruct my burger. My meal was served on a cutting board like tray, so I used the knife and started chopping up the condiments such as the lettuce and onions on the board and putting it back in the burger. To the people around me, they were very confused and were just staring at me, but little did they know, it is something I would have had to do anyways because I have braces. My braces make it difficult for me to bite and chew into food, therefore I am required to break up all my food before eating. After eating, I start to suck my teeth, to get all the food that is stuck in my braces out. I would have normally done this in the bathroom, but for the sake of the assignment I chose to do this at the table. This uncommon behaviour was allowing me to perform breaking social norms of table etiquette. Although it is common for people in the popular culture community to eat food such as burgers and wings with their hands, I took it a step further to make that behaviour socially uncomfortable. I expected people to react the way they did by giving us looks. I was surprised that no one complained, but I could understand why they would be confused with my actions. Overall this experiment essay has taught me that we have social norms in place for respect for those around us. Reflecting back on this experience, I felt uncomfortable breaking a social norm. I believe it is because we have been brought up being told what to do and what not to do, when we take the initiative to do something we are not supposed to, we are worried about being judged. I feel breaking social norms doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing, but just doing something out of the ordinary that can benefit one should be socially accepted.