Same-sex Marriage – Changing For The Good
In the recent years, homosexuality has gradually become a hot issue that is paid attention to by the whole society. Same-sex couples used to live a humble life because of the social norm. Now, homosexual people become more open, and same-sex marriage increases. This is a big change in the history that helps maintaining the structure of traditional family. The relationship between parents and homosexual children become closer. In addition, within a same-sex family household, the lifestyle is increased by getting a higher education, knowing about sharing housework so that they can be efficiently done. Marriage also open opportunities for same-sex couple to have children. Even though there are mixed opinions about same-sex parents such as incomplete development on children and having stress while taking care of children, many studies showed that children grow as well as the ones who have different-sex parents. However, people should be considered following the trend of same-sex marriage because homosexuality belongs to human nature. If people want to follow becoming one, they should go back to their true identity sooner or later.
In 2017, there were approximately 935,229 same-sex couple households in the U.S. Among these couples, about 555,492 couples were married, which was made up about 59.4% of all same-sex households. In 2008, there were about 26.6% of all same-sex households were married couples (Taylor, 2019).
As we can see, the rate of married couples who have the same sex are more than doubled over the past ten years. The reason is that since June 26, 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court has passed the laws to legalize same-sex marriage in the U.S. This was an event that marked a major change in LGBT (an initial that stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) society not only in the U.S. but also in the whole world, bringing a new perspective on homosexual love. Back in the old days, homosexuality was considered as a mental illness. It was not considered so until the medical revolution in 1960s when a lot of new insights into the psychology of homosexuality were published. After that, homosexuality was recognized as a normal phenomenon without any cure, but it was still considered to be hard to change the behavior of people who have homosexuality. Nowadays, in modern society, people believe that same-sex marriage is normal; everyone has the rights to love and to have a family. However, in some countries such as Africa, Middle East countries, Southeast Asia countries, Russia, anh many Pacific and Caribbean island countries, same-sex marriage and homosexuality is still considered a criminal. In some cases, people are punished to death. In the U.S., people who is considered homosexual still experience discrimination. For instance, in 2016, 25.2% of LGBT people revealed that they had experienced discrimination because of their sexual orientation or gender identity which affected their well-being, health, and economic security (Singh and Durso, 2017). This is the reason people who are considered homosexual, in some ways, usually tried to hide their true identity; they liked silence, lived quietly, and sometimes were afraid to communicate with other people. Despite the false social thoughts about homosexuality and same-sex marriage, lesbian or gay couples slowly show to the world that if the society recognizes and treats them like different-sex couples, the gaps between two groups are narrowed, and people will live more happily. For parents who have gay or lesbian children, the open to same-sex marriage makes them have a psychological relief when they know that their children can love more comfortably and happily.
The recognition of the law on registered same-sex marriage also helps reduce the tension in the relationship between parents and children. According to Pew Research Center, about 39% of homosexual individuals said that they were rejected by a family member at some point in their lives because of their sexual orientation or gender identity (A Survey of LGBT Americans, 2013). The reason is once again back to the social norms and legal conditions within the society that affect a lot on how parents and children think, act and live. In the past, same-sex couples did not want to open their relationships with people, even to close family members. If their relationships were discovered, same-sex couples had to choose between breaking up or leaving the house to follow their rights to love. As a result, the relationship between parents and children were rifted. As of today, the close relationship between generations of families becomes a positive environment for psychological development to all members because of the open in same-sex relationship and marriage. Unlike before when children left home to against gender stigma, same-sex children now would like to live with their parents and to share with family members. This is one of the benefits of legalizing same-sex marriage that helps maintaining the structure of the traditional family. Same-sex marriage become a benefit not only for the families as a whole but also for the same-sex households specifically since same-sex marriage gives individuals a sense of security in every aspect of their life. Individuals in same-sex couples feel that their relationships are realistic, responsible so that the commitment and investment efforts to their living life increase. Consequently, the quality of life and the quality of the relationship between two individuals are improved. Same-sex couples were found more likely to have higher incomes from both being employed and have more working hours than different-sex couples, but interestingly, the factor that led to the satisfaction in sharing responsibilities was good communication (Matos, 2015).
Individuals in same-sex couples were more comfortable mentioning, not keeping silent about sharing housework. They shared that it was better to tell the desires earlier than to wait until another one to speak up. Moreover, another research after five years since same-sex marriage law was passed in Canada on a group of same-sex first-marriage populations showed that these couples had an increased index of satisfaction with common life and self-esteem. Their self-stigma was also dropped significantly (Little, 2012).
Based on these evidences, we can conclude that the attachment of individuals in same-sex couples is a long-term relationship, and it means a commitment to faithful behavior. After a long-term relationship in same-sex married couples, there follows a desire to become parents. There are more and more married same-sex couples want to become mothers or fathers. There were about nine million children in the U.S. who have same-sex single parent or both parents (Linville and O’Neil, n.d.).
Some people argue that children of same-sex parents have a different outcome than those of different-sex parents. Children being raised by a gay parent should need extra emotional support, or otherwise, these children can face unique social stressors. However, most recent research studies showed that children with same-sex couples grow up and live just as well as children with different sex married couples. One comprehensive study of children raised by lesbian mothers or gay fathers concluded that children raised by same-sex parents did not differ from other children in terms of emotional functioning, sexual orientation, stigmatization, gender role behavior, behavioral adjustment, gender identity, learning and grade point averages. The reason is that the quality of the parent and child relationship, not the parent’s sexual orientation has an effect on the child’s development. Although children with gay and lesbian parents are normally grown up, they may face some additional difficulties when going out such as discrimination in their communities or bullying/teasing by peers. Therefore, parents of these children should be careful with any changes in their behaviors. It is better to prevent children from peer and society pressure than to cure the effect of pressure. By allowing for open discussions that are appropriate to children’s age and level of maturity, LGBT parents can prepare their child to handle questions and comments about their background or family. Also, same sex parents should help their children come up with and practice appropriate responses to mean actions from peers. If the parents can see the changes in children’s behavior, they should consider a consultation with a qualified mental health professional, and then seek for a support network for the children.
There have been many changes and more supporters of the LGBT community around the world. For the homosexual people and same-sex couples, the support from people and the recognition from the society is all about their values of equality, love, and non-discrimination. Although the world of same-sex people are hard to understand, we should always support them because they deserve the protection. They are fallen angels.
- A Survey of LGBT Americans. (2018, September 26). Retrieved October 9, 2019, from https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/06/13/a-survey-of-lgbt-americans/.
- Linville, D., & O’Neil, M. (n.d.). Same Sex Parents and Their Children. Retrieved October 9, 2019, from https://www.aamft.org/Consumer_Updates/Same-sex_Parents_and_Their_Children.aspx.
- Little, W. (2014, November 6). Introduction to Sociology – 1st Canadian Edition. Retrieved October 9, 2019, from https://opentextbc.ca/introductiontosociology/back-matter/about-the-adapting-author-2/.
- Singh, S., & Durso, L. E. (2017, May 1). Widespread Discrimination Continues to Shape LGBT People’s Lives in Both Subtle and Significant Ways. Retrieved October 9, 2019, from https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/lgbt/news/2017/05/02/429529/widespread-discrimination-continues-shape-lgbt-peoples-lives-subtle-significant-ways/.
- U.S. Census Bureau. (2019, September 17). Where Same-Sex Couples Live. Retrieved October 9, 2019, from https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2019/09/where-same-sex-couples-live.html.
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