Same-Sex Marriage & Same-Sex Parenting

Gay was allowed to adopt in June 26, 2017, after the Supreme Court inversed Arkansas Supreme Court by authorizing all states to allow same-sex couples to be issued a birth certificate the same as opposite-sex couples. This law became valid in all 50 states. This approbation was right after the legalization of same-sex marriage. It was becoming obvious that after being allowed to get married; a normal relationship, it would have the desire of having a family which means having a child. The only ways to have a child for gay parents is by surrogacy, adoption, and by a foster child. Nowadays, gay parenting is very controverted and challenged. According to Camilla Taylor and John Ireland, same-sex parents should be able to build a family without challenges as heterosexual couples. She justified that by saying “Children of gay or lesbian parents whose families break down face unique challenges as a result of a patchwork varying antigay laws from state to state.” It means that there is a battle to avoid same-sex parents having a family. For John Ireland, gay and lesbians should be able to adopt a child because there is a lot of child’s seeking for the family to grow up in a safe environment. He claims the discrimination by adding that “Children in foster care are suffering.” Also, for Victoria Clarke, gay parenting is unnatural and not biblical. She considers them as selfish and a danger for the child raised in those households.

The gay parenting battle is increasing all over the country. We can see it by the difficulties that those same-sex parents encounter while trying to adopt a child either inside or outside the United States. Many countries have not accepted same-sex parenting yet. Therefore, those who try the international adoption have their applications sometimes automatically rejected or denied; once the adoption agency discovers that the parents are gay. Many people want only the existence of the nuclear family instead of a same-sex parent family. For Victoria Clarke, “Gay parents are selfish because they ignore the best interest of the child.” It means that same-sex parents do not think about the child's needs, but only theirs. They are blinded by the desire of having a child to look like a regular family without thinking about the consequences of such act to the child. The child’s do not have any model, grow up with two fathers. The child can be confused about his identity because a child needs a female and male figure at some point of his childhood or growth. The structure of the family can affect the child emotionally and morally by missing the sex role model.

In addition, children do not have the right model in same-sex parenting. There is a higher percentage for them to also end up gay or lesbian. They become a victim of their parent's sexual orientation and pay the price and consequences of it. They get bullied and stigmatized. Stonewall claims that in the UK “it is generally assumed in law that lesbians and gay men do not form meaningful relationships with each other and do not have children.” It is more difficult for gay men to get approved for adoption because they have to show that they have a mother's abilities to raise a child. It shows that gay men do not have the ability to raise a child by themselves. Victoria Clarke states that “ the Bible tells me that lesbian and gay parenting is sinful.” She sees that as an insult to the human race because God creates Adam and Eve and not Adam and Steve. It means a male-female and not a male-male.

The other argument shows that gay parenting is abnormal. A child must only be conceived in the womb of a woman with a male seed, not in the tube or other ways. It is just not natural and not right. Doing such a thing is going against nature and GOD's will.

On the other hand, the defenders of gay parenting according to Devon Brooks and Sheryl Goldberg in their article for adoptive and care placements “child raised by gay or lesbian parents do not get affected negatively by their experience.” The authorization of gay couples to be parents must not be a challenge because they do not go against the concept of a child needing to have a mother and a father, but a child needs to have parents who love and care for them. Camilla Taylor, a defender of gay and lesbian rights attest that may states in the United State have antigay laws which are a barrier to their freedom of having a family. She goes further by declaring that “the custody cases become much more complicated because of the state antigay laws and they are biased against same-sex couples. Many state laws are unfair to gays and lesbians.”

In addition to protests again gay having a child by adoption, there is also the issue of surrogacy. Gay parents with all the problems that they face through the adoption system, go more to surrogacy. It is a long medical process where same-sex parents have to find a woman to carry their pregnancy with one of the male partner`s seeds. This procedure is originally for women struggling with infertility. Obviously, it is very expensive and it is not affordable for all gay couples. The couple need to have a lawyer for this process. This practice is the most used now because the surrogate mother receives compensation, get all the medical treatment she needs from the beginning to the end of the pregnancy. In most case, the couple get the baby right after the surrogate mother give birth. Rarely, there is a conflict between the sperm or eggs donor and the biological mother or father. Surrogacy can cost between $30.000-$100.000 per pregnancy.

Society is ready to give gay couples a chance to have a child because as heterosexuals, they estimate that they can also have a descendance and generations even if they cannot conceive naturally. Everybody on earth has the right to be happy, without judgment.

29 April 2022
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