The Complexity of Raising Children: Generation Gap and Over Guardianship
Childhood development is crucial to socialization and how an individual identifies themselves for their entire life. One pivotal element of childhood development is how the child is raised and whom that child is raised by; however, different forms of parenting produce different types of children. Parents who resort to overprotective parenting by restricting their child’s life will cause their child to be unable to socialize properly and struggle to find their true social identity.
An element that makes parenting difficult is the existence of a significant generation gap. The National Center for Health Statistics states that as of 2016, “...the overall average age to have a baby in the U.S. was 26.3 years…”. Twenty-six years is a large gap, and that gap only grows once a child grows. This especially becomes a problem when a child grows into adolescence and develops the ability and urge to become autonomous over their life. There is a variation in “...the tastes and values and icons and events that define that formative period in their lives…” which often creates problems between a parent and a child. For instance, a child might want to decide they want to create a social media page. A parent who doesn’t quite understand the appeal of social media, yet rather the dangers of it will instantly prohibit such use of social media. In instances like these, parents and children disagree, and the differences in age will begin to show. Parents might not necessarily understand why their children are so captivated by social media and seem to have a negative connotation towards it. Some have legitimate safety concerns, but others simply go overboard and invade any sense of privacy a child may have. This way, no trust is truly established in their relationship and children go out of their way to defy their parents in order to get what they want. As rebellious as it may seem, it is nothing more than group conformity within a child’s peer group - a chance to fit in.
It’s not only a generation gap but many other factors that contribute to the lack of trust a child may feel towards others. When a parent oversteps a boundary they are made to make a child feel as though they are not and cannot be trusted. Along with this, it makes a child believe that they should not and cannot trust other people. According to Berkeley Political Review “...only 25 percent of Generation X individuals and only 19 percent of Millennials…” report to believe that most people are to be trusted. This is based on the generation gap, but it is also based on the parenting techniques of a majority of these kids. Now that these millennials are becoming older and have the ability to become parents themselves, they are most likely to become overprotective and overbearing over their children. They involve themself more than they should and struggle to deal with the burden of being a parent, in turn putting that burden on their child.
A parent’s burden to ensure that their child has a promising future and has the ability to make the best decisions possible. In doing so, some parents tend to compromise a child’s basic components of their personality and social identity. Parents do this by simply micromanaging everything and keeping a tight restrictions on what a child can and cannot do. Given the time period we are in, it is understandable that most parents do this via technology. An article from the Berkeley Political Review states, “...technology and other contributing factors make it easy for parents to be too present in their children’s lives and easy for parents to intervene and exercise control over their children’s lives...”. This intervention oftentimes becomes too consistent and recurrent, to a point where it is deemed as normal. Not only this, but a child with an overprotective parent begins to face many more problems than some would like to believe. In some ways where parents believe they are doing the best for their children, it turns out that they could be harming them. The overall and common goal for most overprotective parents is to well, protect their kids. This includes outside forces like bullying and other dangers, but it also includes saving the child from themselves. It is an odd concept, however, some report that parents have the tendency to commit to actions such as, “Stopping Your Child From Branching Out...” and “Placing Your Child in a Bubble Away From the Real World…”. Acts such as these are meant to ensure that a child doesn’t risk their emotional safety, rather than their physical safety. This behavior from the parents begins very early on, to a point where it becomes increasingly normal and perhaps the standard for their entire life.
Children of overprotective parents tend to be more dependent and unable to deal with situations on their own, signifying that they seriously lack problem-solving and basic cognitive skills. Children lack the ability to fully comprehend the meaning behind trust and what it is truly like to trust another individual or even be trusted themselves. In turn, this has a major impact on how they form and maintain relationships with other people throughout their lives.
It is not only behavior that is affected by this form of parenting, but it branches into the field of mental health. Mental health in children is extremely fragile and malleable, meaning it is easy to train a child to think a certain way. These children are unable to cope with the real world and in turn, their mental state of mind can not comprehend what is going on and how to function. This can lead to disorders such as anxiety and depression. It is of no fault of the child, but due to the high level of protectiveness, their parents enforced, a child who is unable to take a risk and be autonomous, will struggle in doing so in their later on in life. They are riddled with high stress and inexplicable fear of life itself. Sociologically speaking, it is difficult for a child who has been raised to display a proper presentation of self. It is not just a handful of parents that do this, it is nearly an entire generation. This means there is an entire generation of kids who have been shielded from the reality of living their entire lives and are now walking on eggshells as young adults. Unfortunately, these children are turning into high school and college students who are the next generation deemed as the future.
It is clear to see this stress and anxiety, especially within high school and college students. In fact, a more common disorder that is becoming more widespread among this generation is depression. These children of overprotective parents have grown up and reached an age where personal opinions and autonomy are crucial. For example, the choice of going to college and what school to attend becomes a very sore topic in many households. Some children want and perhaps need a way out, so they seek interest in schools far from home; however, an overprotective parent may go against this notion and suggest staying closer to home. Due to a child’s lack of financial stability, they may have no choice but to listen to their parents. This only adds to the tension within any existing relationship between a parent and child. NPR reports “...around 15 percent of students reported having been diagnosed with depression…” which has reportedly risen ten percent in several years. This study was taken in 2007, who knows how high the percentage is in 2020. Illnesses such as these used to prohibit adolescence from participating in things such as attending college, but it has since become the norm, the standard. It is impossible to fathom, but it is true and of course, with all of these mental illnesses comes to another consequence: suicide.
The level of occurrences of suicide has a “56-percent increase in less than two decades”, many of these being linked to mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression as reported by PBS News Hour. Upon reaching early adulthood, children are faced with many obstacles in which they have no idea how to handle. They are tasked with overwhelming emotions and unfortunately become fearful of such things, such as balancing elements of young adult life. Young adults usually must find a balance between school, work, and social life. In light of this, overprotective parents who decide to limit their child’s activity out of the house or out of the school can have a serious effect on them in the long haul. They will not be equipped with the skills necessary to find such a balance and will find that they simply cannot do it. They will be easier to give up in the absence of their parents and upon hitting rock bottom, resort to self-harm and suicide.
