The Importance Of Communication In Developing Positive Relationships With Children
There are differences between communicating with adults and communicating with children, however there are some similarities. Maintaining eye contact, listening and showing interest in what they are saying as well as responding to them shows courtesy and respect. It is important to not interrupt or hurry the person talking to me.
The main differences however between communicating with adults and children is the tone of voice we use, our body language, gesture and facial expressions as well as the vocabulary and verbal expressions we use. These all need to be altered depending on age and needs of the person we are talking to. Furthermore, when communicating with children we must also think about how the relationship between child and carer is maintained. It is important, especially in a school setting, for the relationship between adult and child to be formal.
Moreover, clear and concise information is needed when communicating with children as we are communicating what is expected of them and in turn will learn to communicate well themselves. Physical contact with children is obviously not encouraged, though especially with young children, even in my class in Year 2, it is hard to avoid as they will want to hold hands in the playground and want to have a cuddle. It would be inappropriate to refute the child this however as adults, we must make sure that we don’t offer the physical contact or be overly physical with them.
In professional meetings for example, I use more formal language and behaviour than I would if I was just chatting to the management team or other members of staff on my break in the staff room. The same language and behaviour apply if I am dealing with other professionals such as Ian, the Read, Write Inc trainer who comes in regularly. Professionals who may have come to look around the school, members of DNEAT or the governors for example, a professional manner is important. When dealing with other members of staff, especially with a child present, I maintain appropriate language and behaviour and call the teacher by his or her teacher name (not on first name terms). When dealing with parents, it depends on the situation at the time. If a parent has come to speak to me because they are worried about their child, then my communication will be different to if they just wanted an informal chat.
However, speaking is not the only way to communicate, how we respond to others and how much attention we pay when talking to others are important factors for effective communication. For example, other cultures have their own norms for behaviours and gestures, and it is important to remember those in case it causes any issues. Furthermore, some adults and children that I work with have different cultures, religious beliefs and values differ from mine however, it is important to respect their views even if I don’t agree with them. Non-spoken communications such as body language and gestures can be misread by others if they don’t understand and can cause issues.
Depending on the age, children will need different levels of attention. Because children develop at different rates, communicating with a younger child will vary significantly to an older child. Younger children especially will need more physical contact, support and reassurance to help them adjust when first starting school and to help them develop their independence. It is important that when communicating with a young child, we use simple, manageable instructions and to talk to them at their eye level.
As the children mature, encouragement and approval are still important to the child as it helps to improve their social skills. It is important that we give older children more of our time to talk through issues, express their views and reflecting on their thoughts, as well as listening attentively to what they have to say and responding. Therefore, it is vital that we adapt our vocabulary accordingly and positively interact with pupils.
For example, in my current Year 2 class, reassurance is a big part in our everyday conversations, whether it be preparing for an upcoming test or reading a book, knowing that they have our support and time makes a big difference. Instructions are given in manageable bursts so as not to overwhelm them with too many instructions which could confuse them. Sometimes children will come up to me for a cuddle in the playground because they want physical contact, especially if they are feeling sad because something has happened at home or they are not feeling well. When playing out in the playground, especially if the children are feeling overwhelmed by it all, standing next to a teacher that they are comfortable with, can make them feel safe until they have enough courage to go and explore for themselves.
The context of the communication is dealing with children in a variety of situations; therefore, it is important to adapt the verbal communication accordingly. For example, when I am on playground duty, which is a less organised setting, I can speak to the children less formally. They will come and talk to me, ask me lots of questions, I will ask questions back, learn what they like and dislike. I will also spend my time playing with them e. g. supervising a game of football, playing catch or netball and all these ways are great to build trust and positive relationships. However, even though my tone is more relaxed, it is still important to maintain the professional carer to child role.
During a learning activity e. g. when I am teaching phonics to my group of children, it is important that they are focused and ready to learn. Minimal distraction is required, and I start the lesson explaining to them what they are going to be learning, how I expect them to behave and the consequences if they don’t. Moreover, it is also important to deal with any interruptions and distractions before I start the lesson so that they can fully focus on their work. My communication with them will be more formal than I would be in the playground as they are in a learning environment.
Communication differences; When I am working with children or young people with learning/communication difficulties, it is extremely important that I am patient and understanding with them and will not pressure them to speak. It is vital that I do not try and second guess what they are going to say as this can add to their anxiety and distress. With some children, other forms of communication are useful, such as hand gestures, symbols or pictures and these can be used to improve communication. It is important to adapt the way I communicate with these children according to their needs.
There is a child in Year 1 who has selective mutism and will not speak out loud and has taken many months for her to be able to feel comfortable enough around me. If I ask her a question about her work, she will whisper her answer quietly to me. I do not pressure her if she does not want to talk and will give her plenty of time to answer.
Effective communication is important because it develops positive relationships with children, young people and adults and modelling effective communication skills to others such as children, is a good way for them to learn effective communication skills too. Not only is it how you talk to other people but also how you respond to them and people are more likely to communicate to each other if there is a positive relationship.
Developing positive relationships with others it is important to show respect and listen to their point of views as some children in my class and their parents have different beliefs and values from my own. Being considerate and patient with others are also ways of developing positive relationships, as well as taking the time to listen as there may be times when someone has acted out of turn, so understanding the situations is important as that person might be in a stressful situation. If communication breaks down, it can lead to misunderstandings and bad feelings towards that person.
It is important to model effective communication skills to children, especially if we ask the children to behave in a certain way when we are communicating to them and the adult forgets to themselves, the children will find it harder to understand what is acceptable. Having positive relationships means that we are more likely to communicate information to each other and therefore, having a good, effective relationship with the children’s parents/carers, they are more likely to give us valuable support and this will benefit the pupils we work with.
