The Story Of My Family Emigration From Albania To The USA
It is common to hear, “The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success.” My story begins in October 23, 2015, when my family made the decision to emigrate from Albania to the US with the dream of a better education for me and my brother. Actually, we randomly won the Green Card Lottery and we were selected to be eligible for Permanent Residency of the USA. Growing up in a well-educated family where my father is a known painter and my mother a dermatologist, I learned the priceless value of education and the impact it has on society. Despite the life back in Albania, my parents truly believed that a new life in America could open new doors full of opportunities for each of us. However, that process was not what I was expected when I arrived in Georgia, and I was confronted with challenges.
According to the American journalist Steven Petrow, “Resilience grows when becoming intentional about bringing our best to difficult life seasons.” In his article for Washington Post, Petrow describes the consequences of the death of his mother as an opportunity to change and to move in a new direction. His journey works as a guide which helps to identify the causes and effects of the emotions characterized by pain and fear. I have been in a crossroad with no signs of direction during this big transition. Every day was filled with sadness as I saw my mother crying because it was very difficult to find a job. Also, it was painful to me when I saw my father returning extremely tired late at night after a long day around the big strange city, with dangerous highways, asking for help to find a solution for our family.
Everything was made Naqo 1more complicated when my school counselor told me that I could not be graduated that year because I still needed some American requirements to have the High School Diploma. American education and also the mentality was very different from Europe. In order to be motivated, I asked myself daily, “What are you thankful for?” and this allowed me to find something positive which would accompany during all day. Trust me, it was very difficult to fit with new cultures, lifestyle, and different foods. The transition from a private small high school in Albania into a public one in America made things very complicated. People made fun of my accent and English was harsh at the beginning for me. It was even worse when I saw my GPA decreasing from 3.8 into the 3.54, and this because of the difficulties I had in English, the lack of knowledge of how the education system worked and hours I spent helping my family without being able to spend too much time in the school work. I felt very bad I could not change things I wished or had the opportunity to show everybody that these grades do not determine who I really am. I tried to do all my maximum even that I had not enough time for school works, senior meetings, or essays for scholarships. I was suffering every day as I was drowning into these challenges.
Maybe sometimes it is good to suffer. As Jonathan Haidt states, “I want only to make the point that suffering is not always all bad for all people. There is usually some good mixed in with the bad, and those who find it has found something precious: a key to moral and spiritual development”. I knew that I was growing day by day even that I found myself inside a dark tunnel where there was no hope for my dreams and my family, as the situation everyday became worse. I thought sometimes turning back again to my origin country. But if I’d give up what would happen with my American Dream? How would feel my parents about my decision? They left everything behind with making a big sacrifice for a better future for me and my brother. No, Naqo 2giving up is the easiest thing in the world to do! To forget everything dark is not so hard, and I knew that I belong to America. I used my adversity as a strong version of self-improvement. I was not looking for happiness, I was looking to achieve success and giving up would be the worst decision ever. I did not see my journey as unfortunate, at the end of the day I should be optimistic because I was the winner of a lottery who changed my life forever.
As Haidt says, “Optimists are, for the most part, people who won the cortical lottery: They have a high happiness set point, they habitually look on the bright side, and they easily find silver linings”. Maintaining a positive attitude made me push more forward as I engaged in introspection. I found who I am and let my passions reveal themselves. Haidt would have agreed with me because he believes that everything happens for a reason. Like anyone who has overcome adversity, I was able to keep going with hard work and persistence. I started to work even harder. Adversity built a new character on me. Now when I look back to myself and all my journey at the beginning I see how much I have changed. All the hardships I faced made me become more generous and supportive with other people. According to Paulo Coelho, “When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.”
I created a study plan to organize all my work. In the schedule, I separated activities as school work, family, essays for scholarships and study for SAT in the different days. Day by day I had good results and feeling more comfortable as I saw that the organization was the best solution and this increased my self-confidence. I asked for help in school to understand how the Naqo 3system worked, helped more my brother with his school work and my parents in searching for jobs. This experience made me stronger, more organized, and more courageous. I was fully dedicated to my path and in the end, this is the most important.
In his book The Slight Edge, Jeff Olson defines success as “the progressive realization of a worthy ideal”. According to him, “Progressive means success is a process, not a destination. It’s something you experience gradually, over time. Failure is also just as gradual. In fact, the difference between success and failure is so subtle, you can’t even see it or recognize it during the process. And here’s how real success is built: by the time you get the feedback, the real work’s already done.” I failed a hundred times when I faced many unexpected situations during these three years but I become more adaptable when I take decisions and interact with new people from different cultures and backgrounds. I was not alone in this journey, but I discovered many feelings that no one else did as I was able to create my own perspectives. I was harming and judging myself as I considered it not smart enough to excel in another educational system.
Later, I realized that it was in my hands to find things that worked out better for me. I believe that humans have super powers because of their ability to adapt. We should consider adversity as something normal in our life and is very real to every person’s life in different ways. Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution teaches us that organisms who survive are the ones who are most adaptable to change. Humans are able to let their spirit embrace the unknown and here comes the point where we discover our super powers. I had a deep voice that was telling me to continue finding the light at the end of the dark tunnel. This voice made me understand that the key of success in life is not only the beautiful things but also the challenges that we face every day. I am going to use my challenges as a ladder to success and will continue to overcome.
Most importantly, I decided to smile every day and Naqo 4 fight for achieving my goals: Being a student in America, exploring the best opportunities for myself, and living a mark in the world. Because I overcame this challenge, I know I can overcome others in the future and now I have a platform to do that successfully.
