The Value Of Different Styles Of Communication
Communications is used in everyday life, whether it’s personal or professional. I use a variety of different kinds of communication styles and techniques depending on the situation and with whom I’m communicating with. For instance, in my profession I support numerous executives and use different styles than communicating with my children or partner. However, different styles of communication is key. The 3 areas of communication that are most helpful to me are: Non-Verbal communication, which would be communicating in a way that has some sort of symbolic meaning or saying a lot without saying a word. Verbal Communication, getting your thoughts across by verbally speaking. Lastly, Communication in Close Relationships.
Communication in Close Relationships has been the most helpful for me in defining my communication with my family, close friends and significant other. As mentioned above I will focus on 3 main communication disciplines: Non-Verbal, Verbal and Close Relationship Communications. I will define each of them and also explain why each are important to me and my understanding of communication, along with intertwining the concepts that go along with them.
The first communication discipline that I want to touch on is Non-Verbal. As mentioned previously, Non-Verbal communication would be defined as communicating in a way that has some sort of symbolic meaning or saying a lot without saying a word. Proxemics is a concept of non-verbal communication which means “The study of how people use spatial cues including interpersonal distance, territoriality and other space relationships to communicate” (Alberts, Nakayama, Martin; 120).
Personal space is something that is not practiced in every culture. I know for me that I need that space and if it’s not there I begin to feel uncomfortable in some ways violated. There are key terms that are associated with Proxemics. Intimate distance being described as a distance of zero to 18 inches. This type of distance would be classified as best used for intimacy not appropriate for an office setting. Personal distance would be defined as typically being eighteen to inches to four feet.
I would use this distance when dealing with my close friends, especially if they have some interesting gossip to share. Next there is Social Distance measured at four to twelve feet. This distance would be best used in an office setting. Lastly, we have Public Distance which is twelve to fifteen feet. I find this amount of distance the most comfortable for me while out and about, in line at the grocery store or walking down the street.
“The study of how others use time as a message” (Alberts, Nakayama, Martin pg. 129) is known as Chronemics. I have found this study very interesting because I’m known for being on time all the time to events, gatherings, and work. Being late actually makes me nervous. I cannot stand for someone to be late, but from the readings now I have a better understanding that being of another culture it may be acceptable to be “fashionably late”.
The term Polychronically described as a person that can multi task. I have been known to talk to someone in person while texting on my phone and having a cup of coffee. I’m forever being told to learn how to Monochronically (meaning doing one thing at a time) my time instead so I’m not coming off as rude or uninterested with the person whom I’m having a conversation with.
Verbal communication is defined as written or spoken communication. There are many key terms that are associated with verbal communication and functions of a language. Regulatory is a way to control behavior. For example, when I schedule a meeting and request that everyone bring a set of ideas ready to discuss. Another key term is Heuristic which means to obtain knowledge. In my profession I have to make sure I have enough food, materials and find meeting rooms to accommodate meeting attendees.
I always ask persons attending the meeting to RSVP to the meeting and that give me the information that I need in order the correct catering, how many printouts of presentations that I need to have printed and how big the conference room needs to be. Without that information the meeting would be a recipe for disaster. Speech Act Theory basically means not only saying things but also doing something with your words as well. I previously shared a story in the discussion group about when I had gone to eat at a buffet restaurant and was harassed and body shamed for being overweight. One of the harassers not only called me a fat whale, but he made a gesture with his hands to imitate being overweight.
Communicating in relationship meaning maintaining close relationships whether it’s friendships or relationships with your significant other is truly like a full-time job. Communication is key in fostering those relationships. The Attraction Theory states “Theory that explains the primary forces that draw people together” (Alberts, Nakayama & Martin; 191). For me this theory really hit home. The attraction between my partner and I was intense. She was attractive and I latched on to that, but as we got to know each other more we realized that we had other qualities that attracted us to one another on a deeper level. For example, the proximity of where we lived made it easier to formulate a relationship along with similarities.
The Knapp’s stage of model of relationship development “views the relationships as occurring in stages and that focuses on how people communicate as relationships develop and decline” (Alberts, Nakayama & Martin; 196). There are many sub-components with this model. Initiating which would be categorized as the first date, where everything is brand new and you put your best forward. Experimenting, Intensifying, Integrating and Bonding are positive approaches to relationships.
On the other hand, Differentiating, Circumscribing, Stagnating, Avoiding and Terminating are terms leading up to the demise of a relationship. The Knapp Stage Model allowed me to see the steps to a happy relationship vs. a relationship headed for trouble. Relational Maintenance is best described as “behaviors that couples perform to help maintain their relationships” (Alberts, Nakayama & Martin; 204).
There are key functions to this model. Positivity, openness, assurances, sharing tasks, social network, joint activities, cards/letters/calls, avoidance, anti-social and humor are all part of the maintenance part of a relationship. My partner and I have regular date nights as just a reconnect time to be in tune with each other without the presence of friends, other family or children. I have learned to that it takes work to make any relationship work. All of the mentioned styles and disciplines of communication are important and have showed me the value of each style.
