Understanding Lies Through Stephanie Ericcson’s The Ways We Lie

A lie is an intentionally false statement. White lies, facades, dismissal, and delusion all fall under the umbrella of lies but have different effects and consequences. The previewing lies are the most self-dismissable ones among the plethora of ways the human race lies. Based on information from “The Ways We Lie” by Stephanie Ericcson, even though lies are all under the same umbrella, they have different kinds of consequences and effects for the liar and person getting lied to.

White lies are commonly told without much thought to the consequences of telling them. A white lie perceives a situation of telling the truth as worse than a “little” lie. For example, a common white lie told is when a friend asks how their appearance looks. The friend could appear to not look good, but the white lie would be in telling them they do look good. The norm in this thinking is that the lie told was harmless and actually in the best interest of the person getting lied to. However, “it is the liar deciding what is best for the lied to”. By telling a white lie the person who lies assumes a position of temporary fulfillment in feeling or thinking they have acted in the recipient’s best interest. In the bigger picture, a lie is a lie, and even if the truth will hurt or cause issues, it is the better way to go. How can truth be expected in similar situations if it is not given out? Now when the liar becomes the recipient of a white lie the tables turn and they are given an outcome based on the opinion of what their best interest is. The cycle continues and genuineness can be questioned based on the principle. White lies are not seen as dangerous but they definitely have consequences.

Facades are another kind of lie that gives off an illusion to what the truth is. To a degree, facades are needed in certain areas of life. For instance, going to a job interview where one is dressed professionally unlike they usually are is a facade. The appearance is put on that the individual is a professional, but outside the interview or job, one might not be. In serious terms, facades can be very misleading because one image could be shown when one polar opposite is the reality. “We don’t want to look under the rock that was Michael Jackson’s life. As with so many other things, we don’t want to know”. In the quotation, a facade is portrayed from a celebrity example. Going into the scope of everything else going on at the time, Michael Jackson’s stardom and celebrity image was the facade being put up. The reality was that Jackson was a person who had an activity with several children. Unfortunately, it was often overlooked due to the facade and things money could do. This has consequences for the liar because all the relationships and legacy created from the image can be destroyed by what the reality is. The recipient of the facade could expect certain things based on the image they come to know but could have all of those expectations shattered by finding out how things really are. To further illustrate, damage from facades could be extremely lethal. From an author’s point of view of a past friend, “ A simple investigation into his past revealed a crowded graveyard of disenchanted former friends”. Ericsson did business with a friend that looked the part and played it well. When it came down to the action, that person peeled off the mask of the facade and revealed true intentions. The liar destroyed all of his credibility and lost all respect from the author. Facades are dangerous because connections can be immediately crushed when the truth comes out.

Dismissal is another form of lying with varying consequences. To dismiss something is to drop or overlook it. Some topics that often get dismissed are opinions, facts, and feelings. There are times when dismissal is very apparent in public or it could be root to mental, social, or emotional issues made from private or upbringing. When someone voices their opinion about a topic on social media, it is subject to all types of replies. Replies can seldom try to come and dismiss that opinion, acting as if their opinion is nonsense and the voice does not mean anything. For the recipient, the effects could make one overthink themselves or feel anger based on the dismissal. For the dismisser, their own insecurities and ignorance can be projected and shown. In a deeper way, dismissal can also happen to deal with children and that has the potential to build into trauma or self-esteem issues. A child could express their feelings about a certain person or thing and get shut down with something along the lines of “ You don’t mean that you’re fine.” or “Why would you say that? You know you don’t really feel like that”. Hearing lines like this as a child could build into mental issues and self-contradicting thoughts since that is what the child has been conditioned to. From the parent’s side, maybe there’s nothing seen as negative in this situation. That’s dangerous because dismissal as a lie gets discharged from the dismisser. Dismissal is a form of lying with consequences that have the potential to affect years of life.

A delusion is a form of lying that has the power to dismantle the mind. The dictionary definition of delusion is an idiosyncratic belief or impression that is firmly maintained despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality or rational argument, typically a symptom of mental disorder. If delusion can be seen as a symptom of mental disorder, then its damaging properties are known. People delude themselves by getting rid of the things that are clear and true in order to see what they want. This is very apparent when it comes to emotions for another because that person who is adored could show all the ways they are harmful. However, the person who wants to see the goodwill discharge the negativity and fool themselves into believing their feelings are reciprocated. Delusion has so much power to destroy because the person getting lied to is the person giving the lie. In the same sense, delusion is so dismissable since it is to oneself so if it is overlooked the mind can really shut it away. On the other hand, the mind could know the thinking is wrong and then internal conflict starts causing issues only affecting one. Delusion is an interesting form of lying with a lot of power.

To conclude, lying is one broad area with many different individual forms that have different individual consequences. White lies are dismissible because they’re perceived as not a big deal. Facades are dismissible because it is easy to put on different masks to different extents and tune in with it to give little consequence to the facade. Dismissal is dischargeable because usually the one who gives it is in power and gives little thought to the consequences of the act. Delusion is dismissible because one views what they want to view, so if the information is purposely ignored, it is easy to brush off that one is deluding himself. Even though lies have different kinds of consequences and effects for the liar and recipient of the lie, they are all under the same umbrella of lies.

Works Cited

• Ericsson, Stephanie. The Ways We Lie.
• Herbert, Bob. “Behind the Facade.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 4 July 2009, https://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/04/opinion/04herbert.html.