Understanding Of My True Identity

As I continue my journey in life, I always ask myself this question, “What is my true identity?” Am I a daughter? A sister? A friend? A student? Then I realized, I am all of those.

I am a daughter because I am my parents’ child. I am the reason why they gave up sleep and sat all night nursing me, waiting for my temperature to go down. I am also the reason why they fall asleep the instant we arrived at home because they were too tired from work, working hard not just to give what I need, but also what I want. They may think that they are just my parents, but for me, they are my world. They have showered me with so much love and care that I can confidently say that to them, I am not just their daughter, I am their baby princess who they consider as their life and world. I am a sister because I am blessed with 2 older sisters. They always tell me that I may not have a brother, but I do have 2 sisters.

When I was younger, I didn’t understand what they meant. But, as I grew up, I slowly understood what they were trying to tell me. I may not have a brother, but I have 2 sisters who will make fun of me. I may not have a brother, but I have 2 sisters who will scare those who make fun of me. See the irony? That’s our relationship. They have been my worst enemies but they have been and will always be my best friends. They are my most trusted keepers of secrets but they are also the reason why mama and papa knew about the glass I broke. They are my mirrors and my opposites. To them, I know that I am and will always be the best friend and worst enemy my sisters ever had. I am a friend because I have someone whom I can count on. To my friends, I may be a cheerful person who always smiles, laughs, and jokes around.

To them, I am a strong independent woman who buys groceries, gets my hair colored, enjoys a good mani-pedi session, all alone. But honestly, I am not. I cried when you chose her over me. I was hurt when you said “kaya mo na ‘yan mag-isa.” I felt alone when you were telling me how happy you were when you went out with your other friends. I am not the cheerful strong independent woman they think they know. I am the most sensitive friend you can ever have, but that’s just because I don’t want to lose another friend again. I am a student because I have teachers who always guide me. I may be referred to as the student who talks a lot at class, a student who seems like not paying attention, falls asleep even when there are activities, eats even when there’s a teacher in front.

But, trust me when I say I do listen to you. I pay attention on how you write, the way you talk, and how you act every time you’re in front. I may look like I don’t care and I’m not listening, but I remember when you told us about the death of your father, when you shared about your love life, or when you told us the story why you became interested in teaching. The lessons you taught us may not remain, but you gave us something more important. You gave us life lessons that were really inspiring and will be of help for our future. I may not be your best student, but always remember that when you feel like no one’s listening or interested on your stories, I am a student who listens and pays attention to you.

So, my identity is dependent on something or someone else, but then, WHO AM I? I am an eternal soul who is continuously creating new qualities and characteristics of myself.