Between 0 And 1: My Gobi Desert Trip
The three-day Gobi trek was an amazing self-discovery experience for me. It made me realize that I could do something I never thought about, both physically and mentally. Before I went to the Gobi desert, I was not sure how I would react to the possible diseases, bad weather and the environment without Wi-Fi. Many people told me that I could not do it, they pointed out the danger and negative things that could happen, and my family even urged me to give up. However, they could not stop me. I needed to find the real answer. The only way was to have a try. When I was young, I was one of the so called “other people’s children”. I had outstanding academic results and optimistic and cheerful personalities; most teachers and classmates like me. My dream as a girl was to open a bookstore with endless books and magazines so I can spend the afternoon with books and tea every day. However, as I grew up, I started loving tossing my life. My parents opposed me to go abroad, but I resolutely dropped out of the university which I did not like, and went abroad alone with two large luggage. During the eight years abroad, I went through a lot, and those tough things made me strong. When I finally got the permanent resident card and got a stable and good job oversea, I chose to resign my job. I decided to go back to school, studying MBA. My parents and relatives worried about my life and kept urging me to settle down. However, at that time I made my decision to come back to China. It seemed that I was always struggling with myself along the way. Sometimes I am also wondering whether my choices are right or wrong.
Before going to the Gobi desert, I just wanted to challenge myself for the 88 kilometers hiking. I thought if I to miss this one, I probably will not have a chance to do it in the future. However, after returning back, my mood for a long time unexpectedly cannot be pacified. I often recall those days and nights, what happened still touched me deeply. To me, this trip was a process of self-exploration. I understand myself better after this journey. I started understanding that there are various possibilities in my life, and nothing happened is clearly right or wrong. Life is never just 0 or 1, between zero and one, there are infinite possibilities.
I am a certified public accountant and was working for one of the 500 fortune companies. However, I never really loved my job before. I prefer creative work. I used to ask myself, is it too late to start doing what I really like to do? I do not dare to take the first step to make the change. I was worried about my age and worried about the difficulties that I may face if I start from the scratch. The first-day trek changed my mind. Walking on the first day through the desert, I thought I could not finish it. From past experience, I have never run more than 10 kilometers, thus the intensity scares me. During the first day, I just wanted to conserve my energy so I dare not to speak up. Also, I did not want to drag people to help me. However, when we came back on the first day, I felt I successfully walking in the first few places in our team, and I also had the surplus energy to help others. At that time, I found that many seemingly difficult things is not that horrible. As long as I had the courage to take the first step, they are not so difficult. These experiences have convinced me that many things can be done if you try them.
This is also true in life. Many Chinese people, including myself, have poor oral English, not because of the time we spent learning English, but because many people dare not take the step out to speak out. It is easier when we started speaking up, keep talking and practicing, we will find it is not that bad to be understood. Also, if you want to change something or learn something, do it immediately, it is never too late to start learning or trying something new. If you keep procrastinating, it will finally be too late.
The current society has a bizarre and ridiculous phenomenon: people who are 20 years old has a body of 30 years old and a heart of 40 years old. Clearly, it is the golden age of 20 years old. However, their bad habits of life including staying up late, eating too much junk food and sitting too long drags down their body. What is more terrible is that their internal minds become old, and there is no life they want to pursue and no goal they want to explore. I was lucky to be exchanged to an EMBA team during the first night, and I experienced both MBA and EMBA lifestyle. The two days I spent on the EMBA team, I was deeply aware of the gap between the group of 20s-30s with young people and the group of 30s-40s more experienced predecessors. I felt the EMBA are young inside and energetic every day. Among them, there are many different types of “athletes”, including those who run marathons, who play extreme sports, and those who dare to challenge themselves even though their physical conditions are not good enough. Their endurance and perseverance are far beyond our young people. From them, I seem to see a different group: there are such a group of people in this world, obviously they can live a comfortable life, but they choose self-abuse to challenge themselves. Their energy and passion to explore the world is something that is dying out of lots of people in the world. Just like the professor said during the class, 35 is a dead age, I believe most of people was reborn after this challenge. I was "dead" for a long time before 2017 although physically I did not reach this age, when all I had was a repetitive life. This year when I started MBA, I went to several places that I had never been to before, feeling the humanistic quality and social accomplishment there and the difference brought by different dimensions. I was deeply shocked: the world is really big and I am small among the world. I was like a frog jumping out of a well and seeing the wide world. For the first time, I understood what it meant to say "life is limitless" and I was ashamed of my ridiculous superiority when I was sitting in front of the world. I stood on tiptoe, eager to peer into the distance, only to find that I could see the small pitiful place, so I decided to go on the road, to pursue "the infinite possibility of life".
Uncertainty exists to create more possibilities. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you will get. Life is also like a journey, some people are only running in the road, all the way going forward, but they ignore the scenery around the road. Some people choose to stop-and-go, although the road twists and turns, but they enjoy the journey. This made me think of the different experience in MBA and EMBA. During the first day in MBA team, we were so relaxed and we did not think it was a competition. We enjoyed the view in the desert, and we took a lot pictures during the trip. Although we finished the first day trek, the 3 MBA teams became the bottom three teams. The other 2 days in EMBA teams are totally different experience. The EMBA teams were fully focusing on winning the game, we walk fast, sometimes even run in order to improve the grades. There was no time for us to enjoy the journey or view of the desert, it was totally results oriented. There was no right or wrong answer for the different opinion of the two generations, they both enjoyed what they wanted to achieve. We should respect all varieties of the life, and everyone should be responsible for what he/she has chosen. Also, for those who chose to enjoy the journey, it did not mean that they cannot catch up. The MBA team got great final results in day three, and they can do better if there were more days afterwards. The Gobi trip taught me that no matter how old you are, no matter what your past is, if you have the desire to change, then take action and just do it. No one is born outstanding, and everything depends on your efforts. Never give up the pursuit of finding out true self. I choose to walk on this spiritual path, and I gladly accept all the challenges and training and face everything bravely. I hope I can keep young and never stop, just like the EMBA members. With more knowledge and more broad vision, I feel the world is not the same, and there are limitless possibilities in the future. All things that human pursuit of, including their own pressure, is only one dimension of thinking. When the mind is only limited in one dimension, we will feel that competition is fiercer and the pressure is higher. However, when we broad our horizons, we can find life actually has infinite possibility, the key is to find oneself what is the way we like.
Wang Feng's "life in full bloom" still is still in my ear. Life in full bloom to me is to fly away and pursue freedom and unfettered life. Follow your heart and live to be whom you are. We dare to pursue that little need inside, to listen to that little voice inside. I am willing to change the status quo and understand myself during my life.
