Gender Nonconformity: Biological Sex Is Not Fundamental To Our Identity

Even though I was born in Hong Kong, I was educated in the international community of Hong Kong while also being influenced by the traditional mindset from my family. I grew up with an older brother and shared a lot of toys with him, playing with trains and cars instead of barbies. Even though my parents did not adhere too much to gender stereotypes growing up, I could still feel the pressure from society today through gender inequality. As a woman in my culture, I am expected to take care of the household and therefore have less time to work or do my dream job. This is shown by the many women in Hong Kong that give up their hard-earned degrees and jobs to take care of their children, instead of shared parenting which a lot of families in the western world do now. I believe that while my biological sex forms the basis of my identity, it does not fully define who I am.

My culture as a Chinese woman does not really incite others to talk about my sexuality. Coming from a catholic family as well, it is assumed from the start that I am straight and that in the future I would get married and have children. However, after I went to school for four years in Brighton, England which has one of the largest LGBTQ+ communities in the UK. My mother started to talk to me and ask me about my sexuality, ‘fearing’ that I would come out as a gay individual. Although this was a close-minded and negative response from my mother, it still “incited” her to talk about my sexuality.

Various possibilities of sexuality

I believe that the first step is getting rid of the stereotypical toys and adverts in the industry, that boys don’t have to play with cars and trains, but they can also play with dolls and dressing up. I think that removing these assumptions will broaden young children’s understanding in possibilities of sexuality. Then during school when Personal, Social and Health Education comes around. A topic of sexuality and gender can be added into the curriculum. There are studies that support the stereotypes put in toys influence what the children’s’ opinions are at a young age, so removing gender in toys is the first step in showing difference and stepping outside of the so called ‘norm’. This will reassure children and let them know the possibilities assuring them that it is alright to be different and not feel trapped as our guest speaker Andrew did during his school days.

Gender nonconformity

Personally, I believe that as people do not understand what gender nonconformity is and it is a step out of their comfort zones in terms of knowledge and understanding. This causes them to make a big deal out of it and even reject the idea of gender non-conformity. As humans we label a lot of things, including people. This can limit and damage relationships between people. With some already judging a person by some label others put on them without understanding and meeting that particular person. Therefore, as gender nonconformity rejects labels of male or female and others. This makes some uncomfortable and their immediate reaction is to reject and make a big deal to convince themselves that there is no such thing. I think I would feel very confused and to an extent become frustrated if I experienced a non-concordance between my mind and my body. I would feel uncomfortable in my own skin and would have believed that either I was insane as a defence denial mechanism then would have changed my body physically eventually. As it would have made me very uncomfortable to not be in sync with my mind and body.

In conclusion, I believe that man and a woman is not defined only by their biological sex and organs, but also the mind as well. A man does not necessarily have a penis and testicles, a woman does not necessarily have breasts and a vagina. The most important thing is that the person feels comfortable in their own skin and identifying as whatever gender they know they are.