Definition And My Understanding Of The Meaning Of Mentorship

According to the Cambridge dictionary, mentoring is the act or process of helping or giving advice to a younger or less experienced person especially in a job or at school. It is also defined as an activity of supporting or advising someone with less experience to help them develop their skills. A mentor is someone who gives help and advice to a person over a period of time, this help or advice could be related to an area of their struggle or skills they would like to develop. I would define mentorship in my own experience as a process of guiding someone through personal growth in areas where a person is an expert at or has successfully grown through. It is the process of guiding individuals, younger or older to ensure smooth sailing in their work, school, hobbies or specific skills they would like to develop.

I have several moments where I have been a mentor to a younger person whether formally through an organization or informally through personal interactions. One moment that stood out for me, however, was the summer of 2019 when I had the privilege to mentor and teach children between the age of 3-13 years old from underprivileged communities. I made an application to an organization and was chosen to mentor and teach children who had no access to good quality education. My task was to guide them through building skills that would help them match those they would have developed if they were from more privileged spaces. I started off shy and was not sure I could add value to their lives but eventually, through primary and secondary research, I got to understand how well I could craft an eight-week mentorship program that would add value to their lives. This moment still stands out as defining for me as I got to understand from a deeper and professional perspective what mentorship involved.

My work at the organization involved preparing teaching timetables for the 3 hours a week sessions with the mentees. I also got to interact with a few children, understand their specific needs, the goals they would like to achieve that summer. One informing activity I got them to take part in was to answer the miracle question: “If life was perfect right now for you, how would it look like?”. A deep dive into this question gave me a clear understanding of how well to add value in their lives without forcing on them my personal beliefs of what a better life was. I got to understand a few things; children coming from underprivileged spaces have a different and profound definition of big dreams. A few responses I received were “a better life for me is water on our taps everyday”; “A good life for me is learning how to speak good English”, “A good life for me is my teacher coming to class everyday”, “a good life for me is being able to play at night with the street lights on”. These responses were eye-opening for me because they were very different from what I had imagined in my mind or curated in my mentorship plan. I had written down ways in which they can improve their grades and basic lessons on obedience, giving attention to their hobbies helping their parents and how to ensure they study hard until they get to university.

My mentorship plans were great but one mistake I had made was failing to put these mentees’ specific needs and goals first. I have seen my mentors make these mistakes too. I have had mentors who wanted me to become like them or a better version of themselves, those who wanted me to achieve goals they did not achieve or my high school mentor who specifically thought that a specific sport was the only way to my success even when I completely did not care about the sport.

Mentorship for me comes easy but I have also had a couple of “aha moments” while at it. There are a couple of mistakes I have made that I hope other mentors can learn from when going through this narrative. One of them is underestimating my mentees; when I first started mentoring these children, I thought they were green and needed to learn a lot from me. At that very moment, I figured that in as much as the program’s description perceived them as underprivileged, they had knowledge and understanding of a lot of things that I knew very little about. Because of the initial condescending thinking patterns, I felt inadequate but with time I learned that mentorship is more about guidance than it is a battle of who is better. Another mistake I made was the assumption that I was completely responsible for my mentees. I always felt that I as mentioned above, I sometimes subconsciously felt the need to force my beliefs and principles of them. I initially felt that I needed to fix them and this made our initial relationship a little strenuous. Over time, I learned to allow my mentees autonomy and that their “not-so-common” dreams did not mean that they were not dreaming enough. One final mistake I made was expecting the implementation to be exactly how I wanted it to be. A mentor inspires, enlightens, encourages, advises but they do not force implementation, neither do they demand a certain path or action (Singh). Doing that then just beats the whole logic behind mentorship. The need to see results my way turned me into a controlling person and it led to feelings of disappointment in the children any time I felt that they were not following the path which I provided for them. It is important not to force anything on mentees, just advice and guidance is enough.

Beyond my mistakes, I had a couple of mentorship successes that I would equally like to highlight. There were good qualities I saw in myself or received feedback about from the program leads. I invested my time and showed a willingness to share my knowledge and expertise. I took a personal interest in all my mentorship relationships, I got to know the children deeper, spent time with them and eventually learn to help them find gratification in their chosen areas of growth. My manager stated that I exhibited a high level of enthusiasm. I took the time to plan every program, spent extra time bonding with my mentees always asked for feedback. I provided constructive feedback to both my mentees and their parents and above all, before the end of the eight-week program, I had met all goals set for myself and my mentees with the help of the program leads. These specific glows built my mentorship enthusiasm.

In conclusion, I believe that mentorship is a worthy cause that could be pursued by any individual regardless of the expertise. It just needs willingness and proactivity. A good mentor-mentee relationship is a two-way street, where each person should be respected and seen as able to add value to the other’s life. It is important to cultivate a genuine interest in building the skill and in helping others become a better version of themselves.

Works Cited

• 'Mentor Definition And Meaning | Collins English Dictionary'. Collinsdictionary.Com, https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/mentor.
• 'MENTORING | Meaning In The Cambridge English Dictionary'. Dictionary.Cambridge.Org, https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/mentoring.
• Singh, Snehal R. 'Common Mistakes Mentors Make And How To Avoid Them'. Thriveglobal.Com, 2018, https://thriveglobal.com/stories/common-mistakes-mentors-make-and-how-to-avoid-them/.