Feminism: Why Feminists Are Not Man Haters

Behind that eight-letter word contains so much strength, dignity, and fight. Society has outlined a role on how each gender should interact.

Specific gender roles are behaviors learned through one’s environment. It has been ingrained in society for hundreds of years now that women are the caregivers and the men provide; women are meant to tend to their children and men are meant to be the head of the house hold. Feminists seek to break the norm that society has created and seek equality for both genders. Feminism has everything to do with striving to achieve the same rights as men. It is not to discriminate against either genders; feminism fights for men’s rights too.

However, there has been a lot of backlash that feminist are man haters and there only goal is to discriminate men. The history of feminism shown through the first, second, and third wave demonstrate that Feminists true motive was not to hate on men, but to fight for their basic rights that every human is entitled to.

The gender equality problems that still exists today started cropping up as early as the 1800s. This movement began with Lucy Stone, Dorothy Parker, and Babe Didrickson. During this time, women’s political rights were limited. Women could not vote, own property, or sign a contract. Their main focus was centered on women’s suffrage, and the right to vote. “The women’s suffrage movement was in alignment with the Black Suffrage and the Abolitionist movement, due to the similar goals of equality”. Females wanted to end slavery and have freedom dispersed amongst everyone. In order to achieve this, women thought that it was necessarily to win the power to vote. Feminist Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott were a part of this first wave. To achieve their ultimate goal, they organized the National Women’s Rights Convention to fight for their own individual rights. It was not until the early 1920’s that their voice was finally heard and the restriction of specific gender on voting was uplifted.

It was apparent that after a long fight, that both sexes and races, should possess their basic right to own property and vote. This victory women won barely scratched the surface. Voting was just one check mark off their list that feminist wanted to accomplish to achieve equality. Women still did not have much of a voice when it came to social issues. This movement further led to the what became the second wave of Feminism.

During the 1950s and 1960s, the second wave of feminism began. Women continued to strike against inequalities and started focusing more on the social order rather than just political issues. Around this time, the Civil Rights Movement was in function. The women were active participants in this movement and still felt inferior towards the men. Personal issues such as abortion and rape were targeted and as a result, many organizations were built. NOW (national organization for women) was born to ultimately protest the sex discrimination in the world: “Among the specific goals set was the passage of the Equal Right Amendment (ERA), a proposed Constitutional Amendment guaranteeing equal rights for women. First introduced in Congress in 1923, the ERA was passed in 1972 but failed to receive the 38 state ratifications necessary to become part of the Constitution. Other organizations, like New York Radical Women and the Women’s International Terrorist Conspiracy from Hell, put on public demonstrations to protest workplace sexism.” Women continued to experience sexual harassment and gender discrimination which further led to the feminist movement in the 1970s. Based on the historical information above, it is clear throughout the second wave that women had experienced more than just legal inequalities. Women had no voice when it came to social topics such as rape and abortion. Furthermore, women were even segregated in their own work place. To me, this does not represent what it means to be an American who is free – along with their own dedicated rights as human beings. Women should be able to feel that they are accepted, validated, and a part of in their own country. This was not the case for women around this era.

In what is called the third wave of feminism, women started challenging gender identity in society, fighting for their rights in the work place, and speaking up about sexual issues. There ultimate motive was to focus on one’s true self. Feminists felt the need to fight against stereotypes of how women were viewed and integrate their own identity. They wanted to express to all women that it was okay to be you and that it did not matter if you shaved your legs, wore make up, or wore a dress. Feminists wanted to make known to the public that the external appearance did not define another. Furthermore, third wave Feminist believed that everyone is different but together a change can occur. It was apparent that this era of Feminism was more than gender equality; It was about equality for all races, sexuality, and cultures. During the second wave, men could openly talk about their sex life and issues that came along with it without feeling judged. On the other hand, women felt like they could not publicly talk about sex nonetheless their own private parts.

This does not sound like equality between both genders. Equality between both genders would mean that both men and women could actively voice their opinion or propose questions about a certain issue of theirs without it creating conflict. Breaking the silence and continuing to speak upon individuality and diversity carried into what is known as today’s feminism. In the early 21st century, feminists strive to continue breaking apart the gender roles society as outlined for us. Women have taken advantage of social media to accomplish this goal. Feminism is wider spread than it ever has before in history. More topics are being pressed upon then just one single issue and the road is still left unfinished. Women’s salary is still significantly less than men, sexual abuse and domestic violence is still high, the political representation of women is rarer than ever, and there is still harassment going on in the work place. In the article, Workplace a bit sexist? Welcome to feminist fight club, journalist Jessica Bennett (2018) gives an example of how “men gain professional status when they act angry, viewing as “passionate” about the job, while women lose status.” This is one example of discrimination that is still happening in our work place today. There are many other cases when men and women are not being treated fairly across the board in today’s society as mentioned above.

Despite the many issues that are still occurring, women have made great strides. From the first wave of feminism to present day feminism a lot of changes and growth have occurred. According to Barbara Crow (2017), dean of graduate studies at York University, in an article for feminism entitled “Redefining the f-word: What does feminism look like today” stated that “for the first time in Western industrial history, we’re in a society where women don’t need to marry for economic security.” Women can own their own property and support themselves by themselves if they choose. Feminism has become more global as well. Multi-generational and multi-cultural women are now walking alongside each other. However, as the movement has become more common, feminists have taken a lot of heat. Feminists are looked at as being aggressive, selfish, uptight, man-hating women. For example, “even though 82% of both men and women believe that the two genders should have equal rights, only 23% of women and 16% of men consider themselves to be feminists.” By looking at these statistics, it is evident that there is a negative connotation behind what it means to be a Feminist. There are many who are Feminists who don’t wish to classify themselves as one. It is clear that Feminist have had backlash to their name which has altered the way people identity themselves. Among the waves of Feminism, there were numerous key figures that played a major part in the progression of feminist equality. One woman that stands out at the beginning of the first wave who made a huge difference in the concept of Feminism today is Lucy Stone. Although Lucy was not alive to see women gain the rate to vote, she held many accomplishments; she was the first woman in her Massachusetts to graduate college and was also the first women to keep her birth name after marriage. She was also one of the first prime activists involved in the national woman’s rights conventions. Lucy fought for abolition and women rights for primarily her whole life up until her death in 1893. After her death, Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton took the reins and followed in her footsteps, continuing to press upon equality for all. As a result, all three of these three women had a detrimental part in what shaped Feminism today. On the other hand of this argument, Feminists do not focus primarily on issues about men. Rather, they tend to gear their attention more on issues that women are struggling with. “Feminism has long focused on issues of sexual assault, reproductive rights, harassment and more.” This could explain why those in society think that women are hating on men since not all men can relate with the issues being advocated for. “Feminist ideas can help men — be it the rejection of expectations that men be strong and stoic or ending the silence around male victims of sexual violence. But boys also need the same kind of culture we created for girls”. It is easy to see that based off this information, that men could easily feel isolated and attacked by Feminists leading them to believe that Feminists are out to get them. Men also struggle with their own personal issues that are not as widespread talked about and dealt with in such an organized, global manner. Feminists do strive for equal rights, yet this does not mean that they are striving for the same rights. “This idea can be overlooked, and women may think that in order for them to be seen as equal to men they must emulate them. But this fails the point women are trying to make.” For an example, women struggle differently than men when it comes to having a baby and maintaining a job. If the work places wanted to promote equality, companies should promote more well improved maternity guidelines.

In conclusion, it has been shown throughout history during the various waves of feminism that women have fought for their basic human rights of equality. Due to this matter, women have received great backlash that they are man haters. In order to stop this hate that is directed towards Feminists, the concept of Patriarchy will have to be altered. Instead of men feeling the need to always fulfill this role of masculinity, males must incorporate the ideals of womanhood to gain any sense of peace and understanding. It is impossible for males to comprehend where Feminists are coming from when they feel as though they have a total opposite role to carry out in society. Men and women must come to a common ground and work together towards a mutual vision. If both genders fail to do this, misunderstanding towards each other will continue to happen and more conflict will arise. There will never be a mutual relationship without putting oneself in another’s shoes. “The powerful, instrumental “male” energy associated with the father will have to be balanced with the nurturing, life-sustaining “female” energy associated with mother if human kind is to survive on this planet.” The best-case scenario is that men will throw out what society has depicted of them to be and engage more with the qualities of womanhood. Feminism is all about striving for equality between men and women. There needs to be compensation between both sexes or there will always be a misconception of what it means to be a Feminist.