From Shame To Understanding: Openness

One of my co-bloggers wrote a super nice post about openness, which I want to do some advertising for, and discuss a little about ... The thing has been up here earlier, and will come up again. The more we talk about it - the more understanding we have the opportunity to get. Häpeästä ymmerkryseen is called Rowan's post - from shame to understanding. Through openness about my own childlessness, like Rowan, I want to increase understanding of involuntary infertility in society. It affects so many, but so few want to talk about it. For me, childlessness is no shame - so I have no problem talking about it. It's heavy and sad, makes me angry, sad, bitter, abandoned, etc., but I'm not ashamed of it. From shame to understanding. The more people who speak openly, the less shame for others. I hope. It is a subject where then when you lift the lid you realize that many others are around one, with the same problem. There are quite a few of other involuntary childless, but we often swim isolated from each other between the waves, dare not lift our heads and look around.

Transparency can build bridges, throw out lifelines between the comrades. Give someone else the feeling that they are not alone with their struggle. And that it doesn't have to be shameful ... It doesn't make you a worse person to be childless! Together we can overthrow the shame, remove the taboo. If we are able to continue to address it, talk about it. Childlessness is so heavily clean in tough, with all the worries and grief, that shame really doesn't do anything better. Still, you take it easy on yourself. It's my fault, I'm wrong, I can't do it ... And then the shame becomes part of the emotional gift. But it doesn't have to be there! I can be sorry that it is as it is, but I do not need to feel shame! So yes, to a large extent, I speak openly about this because others in the same situation should be able to get support and comfort. Because I feel that I can do it, everyone wants and cannot. I also speak openly about it because people who are not in it should get a little more understanding of what it is about, how it can feel, what it can mean. And - how to relate to it.

But - above all, I speak openly about childlessness because I want to. Because it feels most right for me. Sometimes for quite selfish reasons that it is easier for me to be in different situations if I do not need to show facades and pretend to be nothing. If I know people know I can relax. I have at least a feeling that people understand me better then. It may not make it easier for them, I realize. For people then start wondering how to relate. Gets uncomfortable, on guard. I guess. A part. But I do not require you to do anything. Be as usual just if you want. Don't ignore it, let me be, bait you as you usually ... It's ok. But if you want to record it, say something - it's also ok, I've chosen to be open! Openness increases understanding, and in the hope of that, I talk gorgeous with you about my infertility. You may ask questions, you may raise it. But I hope you do it with a good deal of sensitivity and very humility, because it is, after all, very sensitive things. Involuntary infertility is heavy, so it is not an easy subject to talk about, even though I choose to do so. A little bit at a time to release the shame and taboo.