The Meaning Behind "I Am Sorry" - the Power of Forgiveness

I believe in the power of forgiveness. I never really knew how to forgive someone until I learned the importance of having a relationship with your family. When someone upset me, it seemed natural to let my anger and resentment just sit. I was never the type to express my anger superficially. Instead, I’d let it build up and just bite my tongue. My resentment towards those who hurt me was a cover up for my agony. Most of my resentment was directed to my father. I would blame him for causing me to fill that empty void in my life with people who weren’t good for me. Over the years, I got tired of forcing a relationship with someone who was only in my life when it was convenient for them. He was so emotionally unavailable, I felt no connection to him. I allowed myself to carry his burdens; I allowed his mistakes to affect me negatively. I hated myself for dwelling over a situation no one cared about but me.

Throughout years of dysfunctional relationships, and no school advancement, I never took accountability for any of my wrong doings. I blamed it all on my dad being an absent father. Then a few years ago something shocking happened I was blessed to have been placed a father figure in my life. It all came rushing to me, comprehending that God only removes people from our lives to replace them with better ones. I was convinced I would seem ungrateful for hurting and dwelling over my dad when I had the opportunity to start clean with a man who was man enough to step up and prioritize me as his when it wasn’t asked of him nor was it his responsibility. At that moment I realized my father’s intentions were never to hurt me. I realized that my father loved me; he was just a unique individual that didn’t know how to love correctly. I forgave my dad after that night, for every wrong, he’d done. I learned he hurt not only me, but he also hurt himself. I made him learn from his mistakes the hard way and I could only imagine how he felt, not being able to make things right with his daughter even while being sincerely sorry and intending to change our relationship but also, change himself. I let go of that grudge I kept holding over his head for so many years. I stopped blaming him. I couldn’t continue being so prideful towards my father, I only get one of those. Forgive doesn’t mean justify, he learned from his mistakes, and I learned that I can’t expect him to prove himself if I keep neglecting him and discrediting him for all the good he did. A part of me knew the reason he didn’t try to be in my life wasn’t because of me; it was just the selfish man he was. I knew if I didn’t forgive him, I couldn’t get rid of that burden. If I kept blaming him, I’d never learn to take accountability for my wrong doings. My father never asked for my forgiveness, he’s never felt like he deserved it. He never liked acknowledging that our relationship wasn’t what it should be, and that’s what made matters worse. But I realized that if I forgive him, I was getting rid of that chip on my shoulder and taking responsibility for myself and my actions.

Being able to forgive my dad was the best decision I’ve ever made. Accepting him for who he was set me free. I’m more attentive of my failings instead of others. And I learned that forgiving someone is a good way of bettering your mental health and healing your spirit, just by letting go or accepting things that just don’t sit right within you. Forgiving causes people to become closer and stronger. It is a powerful thing. This I believe.