Low Self-Confidence and Various Solutions
According to William J.H Boetcker, “Your success depends mainly upon what you think of yourself and whether you believe in yourself”. To be self-confident is to trust in your own abilities and believe that you can do what you set in your mind. Unfortunately, a serious number of people have low self-confidence which causes them a large number of problems that even they cannot realize how serious and important the problems are. Obviously, self-confidence touches every part of people’s lives in the workplace, in sports, social life and family. Based on research, to become a leader you must be self-confident.
Leadership requires confident decision-making, bold but measured risk-taking, and loyalty, all of which are related to confidence. Also, in workplaces as an employee Confidence has several benefits such as the ability to run meetings effectively and confidently, more effective delegating, a greater sense of autonomy, more frequent promotions and higher positions even higher pay and more frequent pay raises (RIVS, n.d.). Usually, people who are self-confident do what they believe is right, they do not care if they will be mocked or criticized for it. They take more risks and “go the extra mile” to get what they want, they are able to admit when they have made a mistake and also they are able to learn from their mistakes. They are perceived as more attractive also they accept compliments with grace and gratitude.
In contrast with this, people who tend to have low self-confidence they have the opposite behaviors. They tend to be jealous and controlling, they give up easily, do not take risks, they hide and live a monotonous life. There is a significant number of causes which have effects on low self-confidence but the major problems are low self-esteem, poor, and money obsession. However, these problems have several solutions for each of one but, people just need to put one step and do the solution. The most valuable thing in life is self-esteem and the solution of confidence stars there.
Low self-esteem is one of the most common issues that underline the majority of emotional and mental health problems, and it is the most common reason why people seek therapy. Low self-esteem can rub the confidence and the ability to feel good about personality. There are a lot of solutions to embrace your Self-worth, your imperfection, and embrace healthy thinking. Improving self-esteem requires the delicate balance of acknowledging the pain o the past while refusing to give the past more power than the present. Learning new skills and altering perceptions helps people to get past the past. The important thing to keep reminding their self’s that self-esteem is alterable and is something people can change right at that time. Self worth is all about self love, if people love their selves they are more likely to love their lives.
Perfection is one of the greatest self-esteem robbers. According to Burns, a perfectionist is someone “whose standard are high beyond reach or reason” and “whose strains compulsively and unremittingly toward impossible goals and who measures their own worth entirely in terms of productivity and accomplishment. For these people the drive to excel can only be self-defeating”. So people should always put goal which are possible to be done or to be reached and try to do their best. At the end if they cannot reach their goal they should give their permission to fail and move with the new ones. Most people do not realize that it is the way they think that determines our degree of happiness. Most people look for happiness outside of themselves, but nothing really end up making them happy if they are not thinking clearly between our ears. The way they think is the way they are going to live, they should think positively and realize that happiness is inside their thoughts.
If people do not have healthy, strong self-image they can try as hard as they like but they will probably never get the success they hope for, and they certainly will not enjoy life along the way. Poor self-image determines what actions people will take and how they will feel each every day. Those daily actions over time determine people result in life. In the long run people usually get what they believe they deserve. Not what they wish for, not even what they desire, but what they expect deep down. And people level of expectation is determined largely by their self-image. There are several ways to improve self-image. First of all people should visualize that they are successful for at least a few minutes every day especially each evening before they sleep. They should speak to heir selves positively for example: I give myself a pep talk as I am driving to the gym in the morning- I look crazy, but it works. So they should replace negative ways with positive ones. One of the ways to boost their self- image is to “Act as if”, it is simple while peoples are thinking about their self- image they should act as if they are already the person they wish to be. They should create the ideal them in their mind, see it vividly, then behave like they are that person. Also the other method of cultivating an outstanding self-image is to hang around with people who treat them like their ideal self-image, or at least believe in and support them in becoming that person.
Materialism is at epidemic levels and still rising fast in many countries. So many of people are obsessed with getting more, rather than enjoying what they have already got. Research shows that in the developed world, the average person’s real wealth has increased dramatically since 1950s. As a society we are the richest we have been in history. The trouble is people’s expectations have risen too, so they are also demanding to get more than ever. The latest happiness research conclusively confirms it: putting money or fame first in life leads to less happiness, poorer health, less community involvement, and lower self-esteem. So people should not fall for materialistic temptations. They should build life around relationships, community, serving others, and appreciation, and all the research says that people will have a far more enjoyable time than the money worshipers.
One the main problem is that people often are dependent on others this is known in behavioral science as “contingent self-esteem”. This means peoples self-confidence and self-esteem depends on what others think about them. These peoples believe that is they could only get wealthy or famous then others would love them, or at least respect them. And so they dedicate years of their lives to grasping for such riches, with predictably depressing results. Once they reach a certain level of wealth, they find it isn’t making them happier and they don’t feel great about themselves and so their dissatisfaction can end up lower than ever. To overcome this problem people should put happiness, health and the last money. They should be happy with what they already have.
In conclusion, no matter what people do, they should be sure to love their selves for doing that. If they have confidence they will reach any goal they have, but without it, they have no chance of being successful. It is not easy to overcome these mentioned problems but it is not difficult as much as people think. These all are relates with their happiness, and happiness is inextricably linked with self-confidence. So, firstly they should be grateful with what they have and try to boost their happiness. The easiest way to do these is to connect with people, to practice gratitude, to control their focus, to action and the also to help other people. To Increase their low self –confidence people should focus in their strengths, they should believe in their selves, think positively, just live the moment and enjoy the life. But while increasing the low confidence people should be careful to not confuse it with narcissism. Narcissists are self-centered and feel superior to everyone else, they pay attention to negative comments from others and dismiss negative feedback, they also are manipulative and do not mind exploiting people in order to attain fame and success. So there is a big difference with narcissism and self-confidence. Sometimes low-confidence is better than high-confidence, but anyway people should find the balance between them if they want to be successful and to enjoy their life.
