Pros And Cons Of Coming Out
It felt like a dirty little secret, it felt like I had chains wrapped around me, I couldn’t be who I was, I felted alone and trapped. Just telling one person made me feel so much better, just that one person took a weight off my shoulder.… Now that everyone knows, I have nothing to hide, those chains that I felt wrapped around me are gone, and I can carry on with my life as normal and be happy (Tom Daley-Olympic Diver). We all know who we are. Should we tell other people? There are pros and cons to kind of every issue you can think of. Why is being straight the default?
Coming out as gay, bisexual, lesbian or transgender can have its disadvantages and benefits. Coming out does not only have to happen with family or friends but might want to come out at work. It just depends on the individual and has to weigh the options out on what pros and cons come with your decision.Some individuals weigh out their options such as taking their race and family beliefs in consideration, other individuals might not have the same to take into consideration because they know that it’s not allowed reading race, religion, and upbringing Coming out, what are the pros and cons? There is not only bad to an issue there is also good to it. The pros of coming out to anyone and everyone vary from being your true self/ living openly, feeling accepted, being happy, have a sense of relief, etc.
Coming out can also have its cons such as how loved ones respond, can lead to bullying/harassment, ruin friendships with the same sex and cause one to be uncomfortable. Within my research paper on The Pros and Cons of Coming Out, I will elaborate more on the specific benefits and disadvantages that come along with an individuals decision.
Cons of Coming Out
Just like the issue of coming out has its benefits it also has its disadvantages. The cons that come with coming out as LGBT can be short term or long term effects on an individual who knows who they are and want others to know their true identity. Not everyone's coming out story will have a happy ending. A con that occurs with coming out of the closet not everyone will be accepting or understanding to who you are as a person. About 4 out of 10 are rejected by a family member(s) or friends.
Coming out can also lead to being threatened or physically attacking the individual who wanted to come out. One of the biggest cons that individuals are afraid of facing is being humiliated because of someone bullying, harassing and discriminating the individual who might have come out. Not every individual who comes out has a happy ending to their coming out story because many factors can play into effect. Those are happened to be under the age of 18 may be forced to move out regarding sexual orientation and or lose financial support. All and any friendships held with the same sex may be affected due to your friend feeling uncomfortable once they find out your interested in their sex. This happens because the other individual is close-minded in thinking because they're gay they'll like every boy out there or because a girl is lesbian they like every girl within plain sight. A closeted individual male or female tends to look out for what others might think about when using the same locker room or bathroom. Most LGBT individuals who are not out to anyone maintains it that way because they are not prepared mentally and emotionally ready for others to treat them different or look down on them due to their sexual preference.
Pros of Coming Out
When an individual either male or female is positive of their sexuality. They tend to question on when they want to make others aware of their sexual preference. One always wants to know the good that will come with their decision on making others aware of their true identity but also lay out the bad that will come if they do so. A pro that comes with coming out LGBT can be building up self-esteem by being honest to themselves. A huge one that all LGBT individuals hope for having closer more genuine relationships with loved ones such as family, friends, and colleagues. Another pro that is associated with coming out is expressing one's true opinions on topics which surround the LGBT community.
Coming out has another upside to it which is making other LGBT individuals come in contact and connect to be there as support or assist with resources and even with dating advice that a straight individual might not be able to offer because they don't know much of dating the same sex. An individual can also lessen the stress that has been weighing down on one for hiding who they truly are or “being in the closet”. Alleviating the stress which is associated with being closeted can also reduce being mentally, physically and emotionally drained because this can play a role and take a toll on the individuals' health. Coming out also helps out by stopping the gossip and assumptions which are being told to others which often creates a bigger situation. Ones who come out and make others aware of who they really are become role models for those who don't have the opportunity to come out to loved ones and assist them in their journey of becoming their true selves.
The biggest benefit for those who come out is bringing the person whom they are dating around to love ones and this leads to having a healthy relationship because it does not make their partner feel like they are ashamed of them but proud to be dating them.
Conclusion
Coming out is not an easy thing to decide overnight. An individual who is closeted thinks about the pros and cons he or she will have to face once their sexual preference is out there for people to know. Not every individual who considers them self-part of the LGBT community feels comfortable to do so because no one likes to be judged for who he or she is as a person. Everyone deserves to be true to themselves before showing his or her true colors to anyone else. Every human being also deserves to love because we are all equal and all serve a purpose on this planet. No one ever said coming out would be easy but the individual should choose how to come out not anyone else. It's the individuals' story/life, not anyone else to choose how it should be done or to out them because they might know a secret about their sexuality. Some of the cons of coming out are as follows: bullying/harassment occur, not being accepted by loved ones such as family, friends and colleagues, friendships between same sex can be ruined and others may make them feel uncomfortable with slurs and comments.
On the other hand, some pros do come along with coming out. These pros are been honest and true to who the individual really is, can enhance relationships with friends and family, lessen the stress of having to keep a secret and live a double life and lastly build connections in the LGBT community for resources and advice. Everyone coming out story can lead to different experiences. I will go ahead and tell you on how my coming out story went. I was a freshman in high school, I remembered this day as if it was yesterday. I had started dating this guy named Chris and we were together for about 3 months in the second half of the school year. Some people at school had caught on that we were dating because he was openly gay and I was closeted. Several people who weren't too fond of me had confronted me letting me know that they were going to make all my close friends and family at school aware of my sexual preference. I was really afraid of being judge and did not want for my siblings to find out. I broke off my relationship with Chris later that day.
My little heart of mine was hurt and I'm one to hide my feelings away from everyone but my mother noticed I was hurt and sad. She asked me later that week to speak to her about what was going on and I finally had the guts to let her know that I was gay. The only thing is I didn't tell her straight up but did say, “Mom I don't like girls” and she then asked on how long did I know about my sexuality. I let her know that when I dated a girl it felt like a friendship and not a dating relationship. My mother did not try to force me to change my sexuality or preference of liking boast the time but it did take her about a month to process. Since then my mother has been supportive along with all my close friends. About a year ago I came out to most of my siblings but still haven't told my older brother. I have heard him say homophobic comments and jokes which had made me second guess wanting to let him know that I'm gay. At times I feel like he knows I am but who knows right? I am afraid to tell him because we have a close connection and bond a lot like going to go eat or go to the mall and what not, which is why I have kept this way from him because I do not want him to disown me as his brother.
Coming out is not something easy to go through because everyone has different beliefs and perspectives on certain topics in life, but I do believe that all those who are part of the LGBT community should and deserve to have a great coming out story and not worry about all the disadvantages. “Who you are to the world is pretty terrifying because what if the world doesn’t like you?' - Simon Spier.
