Searching For The Perfect Match

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As individuals get older, they start to better discern their likes and dislikes, becoming very meticulous when it comes to making decisions — no one likes to repeat the same mistake twice. Throughout their young adult years, individuals experience different kinds of romantic relationships. Commitment can either bring out the best or the worst from each individual, as boyfriends and girlfriends come with many different personalities and characteristics. Finding the perfect match seems impossible — often, after many failed relationships, individuals may increasingly raise the bar for themselves, trying to avoid making a similar mistake. For the purposes of this paper, ‘boyfriends’ have been classified into three groups to examine their features: the ‘overly jealous, ’ the ‘bad boy boyfriend, ’ and the ‘gorgeous-but-vacuous’ boyfriend.

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First, there is the jealous boyfriend: this person does not understand the concept of trust, and his jealousy can be uncontrolled. Sometimes, jealousy is glamourized as a normal sign of love — it is not. The jealous partner may proceed to become controlling and possessive, which for a fact can lead to fighting and unhappiness. A jealous boyfriend may feel extremely insecure when he is not around his partner, and may try to control where his girlfriend goes, including the where, when, and why. Such boyfriend will try to control which friends the partner may hang out with — many jealous boyfriends like to control where his partner goes and whom you can talk to. He will often discourage prolonged periods of absence from him, such as going out with friends, as he is trying to manipulate his way into making you stay confined to the house. The jealous boyfriend is probably the most psychologically damaging of the three possibilities.

Secondly, there is the ‘bad-boy boyfriend’: he loves to demonstrate how independent, cool, and willful he is to all the ladies that around him. He does what he wants when he wants, and he does not follow trends. Parents try to encourage their children to stay away from this kind of boyfriend; however, their charm is sometimes impossible to resist. Some women seem to love bad boys because bad boys have a knack for thinking outside the box which sometimes may encourage her to go outside her comfort zone. For example, when a woman has a ‘bad boy boyfriend, ’ he might give her the courage to attempt things she never tried before — following her old dreams, for example. Overall, the ‘bad boy’ explained here is a better choice as a partner than the jealous type.

Finally, there is the gorgeous-but-vacuous boyfriend. He is pleasing the eye, but that is where the attachment ends. This is the kind of boy a girl may describe to her friends as being physically attractive but intellectually vapid once you start talking to him. Nothing is more disappointing than being initially attracted to a boy who turns out to be boring or stupid. Instead, it is always best to find someone with whom a deep connection is possible.

After all, no one wants jealousy; personalities are hard to change, and looks do not last. Many have experienced at least one of the following kinds of boyfriends: the jealous, the bad boy, or the beautiful-but-vacuous — and that is just fine. It seems it is a rite of passage to have to deal with at least one of these types along the journey of finding ‘the one. ’ Patience is key. Should someone find themselves stuck with one of these kinds, do not despair: there are many, many boys out there who are kind, compassionate, loving and true.

01 April 2020

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