Simple Tips on How to Apology

It’s easier to avoid any action that will hurt your partner than to say “sorry” to him or her later. It's a strange fact that people find it difficult to say sorry when they're at fault, maybe because of our natural self-esteem and phobia of being humiliated… That's by the way. To make a good apology, you need to accuse yourself of your wrong-doing and inform your partner that he/she means so much to you. Truly, the tips on these little paragraphs are easier said than done. One of the strange obstacles of following these tips however, may just be your self-esteem when it’s not under control. You can only enjoy the company of your partner by keeping pride aside, proving that you’re truly remorseful and ready to make repairs or implement changes where the need lies. With the following tips, you may want to get ready to make an impressive, grandeur apology.

Show your remorse in person. This will actually go a long way in impressing your partner. This step is sincere, true and humble. Instead of making faceless apologies that can't ever be judged to see its intentions, you're better off meeting your partner and pouring your sincerity. Unless your partner is as dumb as your pranks, every tactic you play to avoid his or her face is completely dumb. Sending a letter and flowers is good but it’s as good as hiding yourself behind flowers and gifts, and masking your face with a card. Coming out to face your partner is better than the best of tactics. Flowers may not be able to pass your information as well as you can and even worse, your expensive jewels and gifts may look like, “I want to buy you again, now pretend like nothing happened and jerk along with your money-making buddy.' Just look at these tips now:

  • If your partner is on a business trip, call them on the cellphone or video-call them. You may need to leave several texts throughout the day. This way isn't super-perfect but it’s better and more intelligent than perhaps when you sit on your couch and wait for them in complete negligence while practicing the best skills of saying 'I’m sorry'.
  • Allow the raging sea to be calm. If your mistake is as petty as ignoring your partner’s birthday or whatever, you may want to be fast enough to get your apologies straight to his/her heart. Here, waiting for a long period of time before apologizing may be a huge turn-off. Be fast enough and cool off your head at once— the stress though.
  • What if it's as serious as cheating, like being caught in bed with your partner's friend? Then you shouldn’t be as lame as not giving your partner a little moment to be calm. Entering a cab and speeding to your partner to get your 'I’m sorry' said will not stop your partner from tearing you in a thousand pieces and beating the hell out of your impatient lips.

You ought to know your loved one than anyone else— Is he or she the type that wants to be alone whenever he/she is hurt? Is he or she so lovely and so soft enough to forgive seven times a day when you come asking for it? How seriously does he/she take crimes similar to this in the past?

If you’re sure your partner is dealing with some trauma, prone to anxiety, easily emotionally unstable or bad-tempered, then you may want to save yourself from being thrown out of some extra large, good-looking windows or from training your fists in some punchball sports. Chill and stay relaxed. Your sorries are for your loved one, not only about getting things right for you.

Access yourself. Don’t just babble the 'I’m sorry'. Your apology has to be able to make a soothing impression on your partner. Own up to mistakes you have committed. Take notice of the traumatized feeling of your partner whom you offended. Your apologies should be a grandeur sauce spiced this way:

  • I'm sorry, I won't do it again', and some tears if you’re soft enough too.
  • Ending the whole action with words of gratitude to the forgiving heart of your partner and in a special way for the relationship.
  • Showing commitment towards making your relationship stronger and happier.

Accept your responsibility to apologize. When you know the moment to apologize, don’t hesitate to seek your loved one. If you feel it better when your partner approaches you to argue about your mistakes, then you’ve only worsened things and made yourself unworthy and insincere. It's better to quench the fire when it’s still early than waiting for everything to turn to ash before making an attempt. You should not even be concerned about apologizing to your partner if you’re not ready to own up to your mistakes. While apologies may be difficult, they’re very imperative. Apologies are like so many stitches on a torn cloth, so they're better off made well to avoid ugly impressions or further damages. Swallow your pride and seek your loved one who is wailing over your wrongdoings and heartbreaking actions.

Make a real apology. If you want to make apologies to your partner, you may have to be prepared to recognize that you have acted wrongly. If you're nursing the notion that your partner is just too sensitive, overreacting, or not completely blameless, then it’s better to just forget the apology. You're better off thinking of some interesting stories to tell your family's pet dog than musing on what you don't intend to accomplish. You can only make a full apology not apologetics, or never even bother to apologize in the least w a y— hope you grab?

You may want to do the apology this way;

  • I’m sure I have disappointed you so much by not coming to your birthday party. I’m really sorry because I can tell how important this is to you.”
  • I’m terribly ashamed and guilty of having slept with your friend. I can't recall what came over me, I didn’t seem to be my normal self as I acted out of control. I can't sleep for days too. I’ve been quite depressed and unstable about this. I’ve been gnawing on myself since that incident occurred. I can't be happy anymore because you mean so much to me far beyond your friend who has been pestering around me and inciting me to do things that are abhorable.

Note that when making apologies, your excuses must not be pronounced unless you want to prove how deceitful you are. Excuses only make apologies distorted and untrue, period. Avoid interfering your apologies with 'but', it’s sometimes worse than when you did not make any apology. 'Buts' and excuses are simply defense mechanisms that imply you’re covering up or justifying your mistakes.

Now blurt it— 'I’m sorry'. Yeah. That's it. You're smart. You're going to be even smarter if you blurt it out the right way. Say it this way, 'I’m truly sorry for having offended you.' Let the information of remorse over your hurtful attitude be passed to your partner clearly. It may be a little uneasy so take your breath deeply, look straight at your partner and tell him or her that you're sorry.

Avoid statements like, 'I’m sorry that you got angry with me'. It's truly a naive and even stupid way that shares the blame of the whole situation between your partner and you. It's a sign that you don’t regret your very attitude. No good partner gives such a proud, terrible and disturbing apology to a loved one who is hurt.

Let your partner know you’re aware of their feelings. When all is said and done, it's a good and rewarding effort to let your partner know that you acknowledge his or her feelings. Tell them you’re aware of their feelings that you've hurt and give them the extra apology for this sour emotion. Your partner will understand that you’ve been thoughtful of them and of the aftereffect of your attitude as well as immediate consequences of your actions. Sooner or later, they will appreciate the fact that you looked at every dimension of their feelings and your apologies will bear an unadulterated countenance.

Say some statements like,

  • Imagining how disappointed you were when I failed to return a Valentine’s wish or even acknowledge them is so painful. I can't bear the thought.
  • It hurts me most thinking of your heart-break, loneliness, and emptiness of happiness when I cheated. The guilt is really crippling. You must be so disappointed in me, you must be doubtful of many things too. The thought of your sorrow and disappointment is so depressing, I can't bear it again.

Tell your partner that your relationship has more value than your pride or flaws. Help your partner understand how important your relationship is, more perhaps than your mistakes and his or hers rolled into one. Don’t forget to tell your partner how open you're to changing your attitudes and redefining your priorities. Attempt to emphasize on the regrets you're experiencing, let them find out your own attempts to repair for it or your desire to begin afresh in order to correct many past mistakes. Make your partner know that you'll make sure you put him/her before everything else and you’ll work towards his/her satisfaction for which you're bound to each other. Maintain honesty and humility. This also is not a moment for, “I’m your loved one and you have to accept me the way I am,'— like seriously? This is an opportunity to say encouraging words like, 'I’m your loved one, but I failed to behave like one. I promise to make massive improvement. Trust me this time, I shall make us happy again.”

Portray your message this way too.

  • I didn’t show up at your birthday party, it’s a mistake I shouldn’t do. I’m committed to you but I disappointed you, however, I won't place my commitment to you lower than other thing on my pyramid list of priorities. I'll make sure I fulfill your demands before others.
  • I’m still shocked about what happened between me and your friend, Steve. In all sincerity, he doesn’t mean anything to me. You and you alone are everything I want to have. Our own relationship is very essential to my life surpassing anything every man in the world can give.

Try to make up. Don’t ever do things that can make you bear the picture of people who think they can influence others with money. Don’t try to buy them out with mind-blowing things. You can do this later. Make it all simple and straight. Let it reveal your true intention. Visit the beach with your partner, travel to their favorite places with them for a strong bond and reciprocate by making them happy.

Consider your partner as a loved one and don’t fail to give them a good deal of your time if you really value your relationship with them and don’t want to be distant from their already fragile mind. You may say these to them too:

  • I'll not keep your priorities below others next time. I'll not keep you on the fence— hanging hopelessly again, nor leave your emotions in aridity. When it’s necessary to support you, I’ll always stay close. Let’s go and reconnect our hearts again at the garden park, your favorite restaurant, movie house etc.
  • Next time, I’ll be careful of places I stay with people. Truly, I didn't mean to do any wrong thing with Steve. But I have unfortunately made the mistake, I’ll be more careful in the future. I won't let anyone for any reason harm my relationship with you again.

Be certain of your partner’s forgiveness. Again, after all is said and done, let your partner know if you may have his or her pardon. Truly, there is much hope you will. And if they do forgive you, you may have to hug them tightly. Tell them that you're delighted and grateful. You may also need to be at peace for making a successful apology in case your partner doesn't respond positively or even completely reject your apology. However, he or she may need some time to be calm and open to you, whichever way it takes, be certain you have done well enough and developed your personality to a greater level. Sooner or later, your touching apology may leave an impression on your partner which may even evoke guilt in him/her for being merciless. But don’t forget this, in case you get your get turned away, you need not push them to accept your apologies— things don't really work that way in our world, it's just simply not a tactic to hope on.

It's not fanciful to ask for forgiveness, for this reason, asking for forgiveness has so much meaning beneath— and this is why relationships develop stronger bonds just after a fight, a crisis and subsequently, forgiveness. Don’t forget to obtain forgiveness after tendering your apologies, it's very essential. This sincere question may look like this, “Please can you allow a place in your heart for pardon?' means everything.

When you want to use a letter: If you feel you want a letter, write it to look as true and remorseful as possible. Writing a letter may be safer and more comfortable if perhaps your partner is so angry to see you— and you probably don’t want a boxing match. However, it's important that you indicate your desire to meet them face to face. It's very necessary to meet them as quickly as possible or later, according to your partner’s disposition.

When you want to give flowers: If you feel it better to spice up things with some drama and pacifying gifts, you may continue with your offering of flowers. Adorn your offering of flowers with a beautifully made card, with some imprints of 'I’m sorry, I won't do it again”. It can make them quite valuable. However, according to everyone's distinct emotional taste, some will probably reject it and dismiss it all as some cover-up attempts. You're better meeting them face to face in order to iron it out.

When you’re hoping on your cell phone. It's possible to make apologies to your partner via a cellphone, maybe because they live far away.

  • Put your partner on call, sound as sincere as possible— devoid of self-esteem, and follow the rules you should have observed if you were to put things into action: say your 'I’m sorry', assure your partner that you won't hurt them next time, tell them to forgive you etc. Apologizing via a cellphone may look easy but truly, it's very difficult since you may not possibly tell your partner's reaction.
  • Remain tuned to your partner and see how your conversation goes. Watch out for quick dismissal from the side of your partner— it can be a wrong sign though.
  • Avoid resorting to the voicemail— it’s also a naive way to handle such sensitive issues.
  • What if they don’t pick your call? Sorry, not a good sign though. They’re just not in the mood for your apologies, you may want to go and face them.   
29 April 2022
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