Supportive Behaviours In Social Work
To start the supportive behaviours concept, I will begin talking about the Gibbs Categories of supportive and defensive behaviours. Gibbs categories for support and defensive behaviours is a list of contradicting behaviours. When you are speaking with someone it is important to remember to be supportive. Instead of evaluating remember to describe what is happening. Show empathy instead of showing no emotion. Having an attitude of superiority instead of equality is an example of two contradicting behaviours. When speaking with someone its important to remember to support so the person feels encouraged and empowered. These are all elements where a strategy for interpersonal communication can occur. This technique often helps the helper provide more effective communication between themselves and two or more people. I believe that the impact of supportive and defensive behaviours in relationships can vary. It is very important to use these skills accordingly. Using positive behaviour while someone is being destructive can only further their behaviour, so you must be wise in the types of actions that you support. However, giving positive feedback when someone does something well can create a positive outlook in the future. Supportive behaviours are very important because, when someone states a fact and you support and encourage them they begin to feel accomplished and encouraged to do more. This can demonstrate why supportive behaviours are important.
Through my personal experience, I can say that I’ve used both behaviours in different types of scenarios. My first example is when my friend had lost her dog to a house fire, she was really upset about, so I offered to have her over whenever she was ready. I showed her empathy, and supported her emotions. I could relate to her pain because I too have lost a dog. I made sure that she could have a shoulder to lean on whenever she needed it. I made sure that I’d help raise money for her and her family to rebuild the house. I wanted to be there for her. Showing empathy is being genuine. I tend to be quite spontaneous, there was a moment back when I graduated high school, and my birthday came around, so I decided to go to the tattoo parlour and get my septum pierced. I hadn’t told anyone other than my girlfriend. It was so exciting but I was so nervous to what my mom would think. Turns out everything was okay and she liked it. I personally think spontanuality is very good for the soul; keeps things interesting and never boring.
For defensive behaviour, I can say that I am guilty for Neutrality. Whenever there is conflict, I tend to shy away from it because I’m not a big fan of drama. For example, if my friend is arguing with his or her girlfriend, I would most likely stay out of it, because I don’t have a say in their actions or decisions. Though if she or he comes to me for simply a shoulder to cry on, then I’ll be there for him/her. It is not me not caring, because I love my friends but having a lot of anxiety I tend to shy away from conflict, which in turn, I’m aware can be toxic. I sometimes tend to use certainty. In most cases, No one is never truly aware if something will happen the way they assure. For example, this may seem really cliché, but my friend had had her g2 test 3 years ago and she was coming to me because she was nervous and needed someone to talk to before going in, and she told me that shell fail the test. In this case, I don’t know what else to say, I mean well, but I told her she’s pass and that everything would be okay. But by doing so, you dismiss their feelings and don’t put into deep consideration that there is the possibility that they’ll fail. Its just hard cause you don’t want to discourage them but saying it could happen but its always better to be honest that give false hope. If we go if put everything we discussed so far together, you’ll see that now we have come to the topic of ‘Individuals in flight mode’. This occurs when a person inside a group loses interest or concentration within a circle or interaction. The individual can become, bored, passive, defensive and/or aggressive. In my case, I have a habit of becoming bored, passive and defensive. Often times, when someone notices I’ve lost interest they’ll either ask me if I’m okay or tell me that they feel annoyed that I’m not listening. My excuses are often an apology, and having to explain myself defensively. Ex: “Im so sorry, please don’t take offense, I’m just tired and im having a hard time paying attention. It’s not you, it’s me. ”
When someone notices I’m bored, I will most likely space out, stare onto the floor with a blank look on my face, or I start to fidget because of impatience, then want to leave. I’m also passive by nature, I avoid conflict and wont often stick up for myself. I’m aware that this is a terrible habit to have. As my role in the ‘group role inventory’ I am a team worker: Co-operative, mild, perceptive, listens builds and averts friction. I believe I am easy to work with and team friendly. I get along with everyone and its always a great time. Working with a group is easier than talking to a group, so I thrive better in an environment where I don’t feel singled out. I encourage other peoples ideas and love to listen to what they have to say. Though having all those skills are great, I do flaw when it comes to making quick decisions. Putting me on the spot will not only affect the group negatively in a way where I wouldn’t have the information, but in times like this my mind becomes foggy and my thoughts pace, forgetting ideas and thoughts I had previously come up with, being unable to contribute. I get anxious and shut down under pressure. Crunch situations are not my strong suit. For my last personal change goal, I would like to acknowledge that I want to become less in the habit of having the ‘flight behavior’. Most times I’m “out of it” simply because I’m tired or anxious and I don’t want people misperceiving it as me being rude or losing interest. I want to make it a goal of mine to become less anxious when put on the spot, while working with others so I do not become a burden to the team. I think it important to be supportive of your team members. I also want to be more vocal when it comes to conflict or giving supportive feedback. When there is an issue inside a group setting, I tend to sit back and watch others figure it out fearing my opinions and ideas may interfere or may not be good enough.
Lastly, I would like to grow of my lack of sharing positive support, I am always so shy to tell someone their doing good because of my anxious nature, its hard for me to initiate conversation so I often lose opportunities and feel bad in the end, knowing the person could have heard what I had to say to make them feel encouraged. I want to grow better not only in my speech but as a person. Personal growth has always been a struggle for me but I truly believe that through this work I will acknowledge my supportive and defensive behaviors and correct them for the better.
