The Differences between Self-love and Selfishness
Each individual has a different definition and practice of self-love. While I believe that self-love is deeply personal, thus everybody should have their own self-love definition and manifest. The self is not the body made from the materials of this universe, nor is it the life force that improves all bodies. Then, you come to love which is the self, the only one you could love without being selfish.
What is self-love? There is always a foundation to loving yourself, by first learning to love and respect yourself enough to be contented with what you have, who you are and your place in the world; and then learning what happiness means by helping others. Self-love is not selfish and it is not egotistical. It is actually quite the opposite; a prerequisite for caring for others. That is why on airplanes, flight attendants tell you to put your oxygen mask on first, before helping others. Taking care of your needs first is crucial to giving your loved ones the best and most you have got, including all your love. Accepting yourself wholesomely and showing people the best version of yourself is one of the most liberating steps to loving yourself. Only you determine your self-worth and you are as you perceive yourself to be, nothing more, nothing less. Everyone has the choice of being who and what they want to be, other peoples’ words do not affect, while your perception makes or breaks you.
However, there is a very thin line between self-love and selfishness. A significant difference is the ability to tell reality from fantasy. Selfishness is shallow and completely dependent upon the praise and admiration of others and put themselves as a higher priority than others. Self-love, on the other hand, can distinguish between what you really are and what you fantasize or dream of becoming. Knowing their limits and their strengths, admit your weaknesses and have a realistic sense of your achievements. Therefore, selfishness is not about self, it is merely about fear, self-love eliminates fear, thus eliminates selfishness. It’s important to love yourself without feeling guilty, by showing yourself some compassion.
Loving yourself means not to allow this world to consume you out because of your inner essential goodness. Don't let this world treat you in a way that is less than just how you deserve respect. Give yourself enough value and respect. Ensure your growth, but do all of this in a harmless way. It should be more about loving and protecting yourself and flourishing, prospering, growing together rather than just having a burning desire to be at the top alone at the expense of degrading or harming other individuals. Your growth should be compatible with others’ growth, it should not hamper the ability of others to grow more. Collective prosperity, you see with you being an integral part of it rather than being isolated from it.
Self-love is not selfish, self-love is the constant choice to accept your inherent, unconditional value, embracing your perfect imperfections well as the daily practice of treating yourself with compassion, respect, and care.
