The Gap Between International Students And American Students
My first month in American and readings give me the sense that American are friendly rather than apathy and it’s easy to get along with them. However, no denying that most relationships are superficial since the language barrier and cultural difference create a huge gap between native and overseas students. Also, personality, the tiny difference between individuals is a determining factor for friendship. But, take the initiative and be patient might start a brilliant friendship.
Most people are friendly in American, but cultural difference makes international feel the relationship is superficial and easy to break. Jessica’s article indicates that most Americans are friendly since “80% of the Americans in our survey said either that they make an effort to get to know international students” (2012). “how are you?”, “you good?” bunch of greetings in America can also be a sign of friendship. However, no text or invitation for any out-school activity after such warm greetings leads people regards such relationship is superficial. However, American style “friendly” sometimes could enlarge the gap between international students and Americans.
For instance, a young man staring at me when I was on the way to the Harrisburg Mall. Then he came directly over to me, putting one hand on my shoulder and the other hand point at my t-shirt. I thought he is going to rub me at that moment, but he just said, “nice shirt, bro!” This case might be the most representative case for the American style “friendly,” they directly express their feeling when they encounter anything to cheer them up, vice versa. From the perspective in my culture, people are uncomfortable, even feel weird with someone Point at you, and it’s also disrespecting to staring at a person. Build a friendship is much harder in such a misunderstanding. “I find it easier to communicate with them not because we have similar ideas, but we are used to living our lives more similarly compared to Americans. ” (60+ Opinions From American Students About Their International Classmates, Jessica Stahl,2012).
Comment from the survey also indicates a similar culture can lead people together. The language barrier is another big issue to tear people apart. Language is the bridge for a new relationship, without communicating, without a relationship. International students can’t communicate as well as Americans Since English is not their mother tone. “one of North Dakota State University’s student said that they scared to approach international students because of the language barrier. ” (The Truth: Americans Reveal What They Think of International Students, Jessica Stahl,2012). The most common obstacle for American student is they can’t understand what international students are saying. International students might not be aware of their accent when they have a casual conversation with American students. In that case, it would embarrass our listener, our American friends. Should I ask him? Should I stop him? Should I pretend like his accent is ok?, all those questions push American student away from international students. As time goes, that impression will be the impression for international students.
Personality is the other influential factor for people to build a friendship. “Some people are shy, they could stay at home for a whole day, without communication. But some people have to join a party every night, they try to talk to people, and they’re willing to make friends. It’s not about nationality, not about language, it depends on people own thinking and their personality. ”( Why Aren’t Americans and International Students Becoming Friends? Jessica Stahl,2012). Everyone has his value of life, ways of behaving, interests and hobbies and personalities. Therefore, everyone has his criteria to select friends. On the other words, tiny difference between individuals can determine the success of a friendship. New friends mean a new way to get along with people. So, suggestions, Taking the initiative，be patient, be brave to speak out loud from Althen, would be practical on making friends in the US. It’s very common to see student interrupt their professor and ask any question they want in a formal class. One stupid question I heard in my chemistry class is that “I’m sorry, but I still want to ask how we can get extra credit?” when the professor is talking about the international units of measurement. Americans are so like to go straight, no secret to express their feelings. Which means taking the initiative and speak out loud may be a good way to start the new friendship. “At my school, international students stick together,” said Laura at the University of Central Oklahoma. (60+ Opinions from American Students About Their International Classmates, Jessica Stahl,2012).
What I saw in my college is the same with Laura. I understand it’s easy to stay with people who have the same cultural background, and similar growth environment, but my advice is to step out the comfort zone, communicate with the people from all over the world. Besides, be confident when talking with any of new face; because of the one without confident always afraid of being rejected. To sum up, Apathy can never be used to describe American, but cultural difference and language barrier must be the huge gap between international students and Americans. Although the concept towards friends is always changing in the country to country, misunderstanding always occur when people have a different cultural background, we still have the method to overcome those difficulties. Take the initiative, be brave, be confidence always help you to start a new friendship.
