The Role Of Sin In The Life Of St. Augustine

Sin is a major element of individuality that has been ingrained in society, influencing one to come to terms with their struggles through self analyzation. In Augustine’s Confessions, the role of sin has come to symbolize a time of confusion and growth throughout Augustine’s life. As he grows spiritually and builds a personal relationship with God, confessing his sins, Augustine recounts major events in his past that touch upon his relationship with his parents, his gradual change in beliefs, and his animosity towards his own hypocrisy.

One’s relationship with their parents can have a major influence on the way they indulge in sinful actions. Augustine always faced conflict when it came to his parents’ differing beliefs. His father would encourage him to commit sinful acts and would be proud, while his mother would tell Augustine not to listen to his father and instead tried to stray him in the path of Christianity. Augustine elaborates on his relationship with his father, explaining, “I was becoming a man, and was showing the signs of adolescence, he joyfully told my mother about it as if already looking forward to grandchildren, rejoicing in that sort of inebriation”. Augustine’s father and his actions were very different from the way his mother wanted him to be brought up. Looking back at this from an older age, Augustine realizes that his father is the type of person he does not like; Those who focus solely on the material world and indulge in sin and gluttony freely. Contrasting from his father’s views, Augustine’s mother, St. Monica, would never give up hope praying for him even throughout his early adulthood. The fact that Augustine never listened to her as an adolescent made it all the more troubling for him when conforming to Christianity. Augustine expresses his misery when speaking directly to God, “Then whose words were they but yours which by my mother, your faithful handmaid, you didst pour into my ears? None of them, however, sank into my heart to make me do anything. ” Augustine tells God he would not listen to the advice his mother gave him because of his foolish thought that they were “womanish counsels” which he would have had shame obeying. Augustine deeply regretted not listening to his mother, as she would later be an even bigger influence in Augustine’s conversion, being a mentor for him.

As one grows older, they begin to realize all that they were ignorant to at a younger age. Augustine had a troubled upbringing into Christianity, facing difficulties understanding the true meaning of the Bible. Initially, he became very interested in Manichaeism and Platonism before taking influences from those beliefs to Christianity. Augustine recounts reading Cicero's Hortensius and discusses the effect the book had on his life: It was this book which quite definitely changed my whole attitude and turned my prayers toward you, O Lord, and gave me new hope and new desires. Suddenly every vain hope became worthless to me”. His beginning beliefs are what ultimately drives Augustine to pursue Christianity, along with the other collaborating events in his life which prompted him to realize what he truly believes in. Taking aspects from Manichaeism and Platonism that he did not conform with and mixing them with his newly adopted Christian beliefs, this steady progression is what gives Augustine such a close and personal relationship with God and the Christian faith. As Augustine begins to let go of his initial religious endeavours, he formulates his own opinions on the matter, stating that he was “now in a confident feeling that what had been said by the Manicheans – and I shrank from them with my whole heart--could not be true”. Rejecting his past beliefs, Augustine now shows greater appreciation for God, changing his ways of life the further his relationship developed. Augustine’s past influences greatly change his views on Christianity compared to his first time reading the bible, a lot of his conversion ambitions come from these past beliefs.

When comparing oneself’s past and current beliefs, the question of hypocrisy comes into play because there is often a change in worldly views as one gets older and wiser. Looking back at his life, Augustine faces a considerably hard time letting go of the sins he had committed as an adolescent and young adult. Recounting a significant event in his life, Augustine details, “I among them, went to shake and rob this tree. We carried off a huge load of pears, not to eat ourselves, but to dump out to the hogs”. Augustine struggles when forgiving himself, being so truthful he even goes into detail about how he and his friends committed the “theft” out of pure impulse and desire. Augustine did not even want to eat the pears due to his guilty conscience. This, along with several other sins he had committed, are reasons Augustine so frequently postponed his conversion to Christianity. He felt that he was not ready and that he still had to confess to God himself for him to finally convert. Augustine elaborates more on sin and the effect it had on him later on in his life: “It was I, and it was my impiety that had divided me against myself. That sin then was all the more incurable because I did not deem myself a sinner. ” Viewing himself as a sinner, Augustine had very strict beliefs on this matter, referring back to his past self very negatively. He only comes to terms with himself when he realizes it is all in the past and cannot be changed. Augustine sought to put all of his energy into his new self. While still acknowledging his past sins, he deals with his internalized hypocrisy instead of grieving it.

Ultimately, the role of sin contributed greatly to the life of St. Augustine when conforming to Christianity, his past experience, and the tragic events in his life led him to have a deep and personal connection with God. Augustine, through his self-evaluation, was able to discover a lot about himself and who he is as a person. Self-introspection, even to those who are non-religious, can be a very effective way of dealing with personal problems. To examine oneself is a healthy way to better one’s mentality or to further themselves spiritually.