There Should Be No Place For Regret In Our Life

Regret is something many of us, well regret. As we pioneer and dodge through life’s bullets, we tend to imagine how different life would be if we had decided to do something differently, bringing me to the moment in which I lost my orange sweater. My H&M vibrant burnt orange sweater was a unique accessory to my outfits and to my personality. I used to wear my sweater through the sweat drenched months of summer and the moderately freezing Houston winters to justify my individuality.

As our annual winter church retreat approached, my sweater was not packed in my suitcase, but instead, hugged my shoulders. This year, we were going to the plains of Southern Texas for our retreat- on route to a town called, “Brownsville,” which was in fact not very brown at all. After eating artificially flavored candy from the sandy pit stop, the sheltered church girls and I were not ourselves; we began singing chorus hymns out of tune and jumping around the small, compact van. While on the road, we ignored the designated driver’s “boring” plea to stay seated and opened the rain stained windows of the van to parade my defenseless sweater into the air, yelling “Mucha ropa! Mucha ropa!” I was indeed having the time of my life, and the excitement of rebellion inspired me to continue swinging my sweater into the violent environment of highway wind, until, alas, my fingers let go.

This fateful occasion could have simply been a figment of my imagination, but my decision to ignore the remarks of a superior, meant my sweater would never be worn by its rightful owner again. Although I have bought many sweaters since that tragic occasion, I realized the importance of listening and taking into account the advice of others when I am tempted to do certain things. Considering the opinions of others on certain issues allows us to avoid impulsive decisions and take into account the effect our decisions have on our future. This is imperative for young college students to understand, as they begin to outline their life path where they are tempted to make spontaneous judgments for the sake of individuality. Many of us tend to overestimate our uniqueness and disregard the judgements of others to achieve things we all want. Daniel Gilbert, a psychology professor and the author of “Reporting Live from Tomorrow,” dives into the different aspects of decision making, introducing the idea of self-replicating beliefs that pertain to human happiness and underlining the importance of listening to the life stories of people who were previously placed in the same position many are in today. Gilbert criticizes the use of our imagination in the decision making process and reveals that, “ when people are deprived of the information that imagination requires and are thus forced to use others as surrogates, they make remarkably accurate predictions about their future feelings” (190). Applying the knowledge and experiences of others to our own present dilemmas allows us to become resourceful and aware of the obstacles or advantages behind our choices, guiding us into making better decisions.

Gilbert wants us to understand the similarities between every one of us in our united fight towards success and the power of using others as a guide for our own lives, that although not exact replicas of ours, are closely similar. College students who utilize and include the narratives of others when they are deciding on a career or what to eat at their dining hall are more aware of the secrets and the background their futures hold. For example, telling someone that a restaurant gave you serious digestive issues for a week, allows them to avoid eating there and refrain from recommending others to eat there. Many college students feel confused on what choices to make simply because they have not been exposed to the tales of others. If college students were more open to the idea of relating to others instead of trying to appear exceptionally different or discarding their peers’ experiences, they would be able to reconsider things they were already unsure of. Many college students are also not aware of how the world functions and are drawn to making spontaneous decisions, such as the one I made with my lovely sweater.

Emily Esfahani Smith, an editor at Stanford University, introduces interesting ideas pertaining to young people's’ vision of happiness. In her article for the New York Times, “You’ll Never Be Famous- And That’s O. K. ,” she begins by saying, “Today’s college students desperately want to change the world, but too many think that living a meaningful life requires doing something extraordinary and attention grabbing ”(1). It is important for students to understand that their decisions should not revolve around this world’s definition of happiness. Many students are pressured into having their whole life planned out by the time they start college and some choose to take impulsive risks when they are lost rather than reaching out to someone who has been in a similar situation that can act as a guide towards the direction they are hoping to reach. As young adults, many students dream big, but Smith calls upon these students to think differently. Smith wants young people to take into account the role and the large effect that small dreams can also achieve. By taking small steps toward an ultimate goal, students will be able to interpret their decisions closely and monitor each of their actions carefully. My older brother loves to spend money he doesn't have. At 24 years old, he somehow has $700 in his savings account and is already hunting for the perfect round-cut diamond engagement ring for his girlfriend. Throughout his adult life and to this day, he has a collection of very expensive things that include camera equipment, video games, and the clothes of a king.

Although he is one of the most considerate people I have met and I have received some nice hand-me-downs, he seems to not take into consideration my parent’s advice. This has caused him to take ridiculous risks that have, to this day, indebted him. Gilbert calls all of us to consider the opinions of those around us. If my brother were to follow my parents guidance, he would probably have his own place by now and have much more than $700 in his savings account. My parents are qualified for giving monetary advice, as they have invested, saved, and purchased more things than my brother and according to Gilbert, they have lived through enough to understand the impact of their decisions. Gilbert asks us to consider our unawareness towards the future and seek others who have been through similar circumstances to truly understand the depth of our possible outcomes. Maybe, one day my brother will truly understand the importance of solid advice and Gilbert’s study.