Women Leadership And Emotions In A Professional Setup
Most women are driven by emotions and when they experience a setback at work, whether it is a conflict with a colleague, being reprimanded for a poor project delivery or being overlooked for a promotion- they will respond in one of the two ways. Either they will become self-critical and start to underestimate themselves or they will cry in the most inopportune moments. A woman showing her emotions in a professional setup is generally considered weak and sensitive. Self-criticism may feel justified in the moment, but it eventually leads to a negative assessment of one’s potential. There is a taboo associated with crying at work, and somehow many employers avoid hiring women for high-pressure jobs since they consider them less “tough” than their male counterpart. One thing that resonated with me about good leadership skills is the act of balancing your vulnerability with confidence. Instead of wrapping yourself in embarrassment or self-pity, you need to act with confidence and acknowledge your emotions. Now I have come to the realization that showing your emotions in a workplace doesn’t hurt your professional standing if you know how to handle it and respond.
I still remember the day when I was entrusted with a time bound project at work. I burned the midnight oil to delivery the best service to the client but happened to miss one minor point in the product delivery. My client got furious and so did my manager. I had an in-length meeting with my manager where he stressed the importance of the project and how he expected me to perform. In between the meeting I started to cry since I had put long hours on the project and worked hard to get the best results. I clearly remember what my manager told me at that time - “I don’t think you are suitable to handle tough projects since you are sensitive!” There is a dogma associated with showing emotions at work.
Oprah Winfrey was fired from her evening news channel for being too emotional about her work and look at the brand she has created for herself now. As a future leader, I see myself as a woman who can use her emotions with utmost confidence, not just to drive herself but also to drive the people around her. I want to be a leader who can gracefully use her emotional quotient to instill passion for work and lead people to the path of self-motivation. There are reasons why we have very few women leaders. Firstly, a woman systematically underestimates her abilities and secondly, she must put the extra effort to be at par with her male counterparts. On my last day of work, I sat with our Senior Managing Director, the only female leader of our business unit. I asked her how she managed to be the only woman in the executive committee of the company and headed a team of 100 people. She told me that the only way to succeed in the competitive male dominated world is to disciplined and focused and to embrace the empath in a woman. You need to be extremely clear about your goals and must have a clear career roadmap but must also be comfortable in tracking your way back if you derail from your path. Irrespective of the fact that you are a male or a female, till the time your goal isn’t defined, it becomes very hard to proceed. She also made me understand the importance of self-compassion, be kind to yourself rather than over-critical and avoid dwelling on setbacks as people do make mistakes.
Self-compassion helps in a true self-assessment and cultivates a mindset of growth. I know that a mindset of growth will help me believe that change is possible and will make me less critical about me and my subordinate’s mistakes. Also leading the world of uncertainty and the possible involves coping up with your anxieties about an uncontrollable world. I want to be a leader who can instill a sense of confidence in the minds of her subordinates about the uncertainties and empower them to lead with passion. I have always witnessed that the greatest leaders have a sound emotional quotient and hence are able to connect with other people. They are both self-assured and modest and have an extraordinary ability to hold conflicting views of other people and lead them towards one common goal. We always come across this question of substantial importance, is it high ‘Intelligent Quotient’ or high ‘Emotional Quotient’ that help us go up the corporate ladder. There is a general misconception of people about the idea of “emotional quotient”. No! A person with high emotional quotient isn't a sensitive person who lacks emotional strength and is down and out with the slightest of challenging event. In fact, she is a person of great empathy and understanding. And the most successful business leaders of all times are the ones who hold the greatest affinity towards people.
Unfortunately, I have come across people in my professional life who hold contradictory views. An accomplished leader is the one who enters the room full of people and is the last one to speak! She gives importance to the views of her team members, keeps an open ear and then finally conclude. And this is what I call a person of high EQ! A perfect example of great leadership that comes to my mind is Jack Ma. He believes in the power of transformational leadership and has an unorthodox style of leadership. He has a charismatic personality and believes that success can be achieved by empowering the followers and believing in their strengths and substance. I take the greatest inspiration from his style of leadership and see myself as a leader who can handle unforeseen situations with poise and integrity.
