Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

Many days back I stumbled on this quotation when browsing through the internet, and found it to be quite relatable to my life, as I have happened to experience both the feelings of downheartedness when it came to comparison and the feeling of joy and luckiness when I don’t have to compare myself with others. This quote is attributed to Theodore Roosevelt – an American statesman and writer, who also served as the President of the United States. Apparently, the attribution is a little disputed. But it doesn’t matter who said it or under what circumstances. I just believe that the content of this quote is absolutely true in everyone’s life.

First, I would like to be clear on how I perceive this sentence and to what extent. Of course some comparisons are necessary for survival. We must be able to compare against some standard to improve in any skill. In fields like science, academics, sports and arts, we can actually improve by relating our work to that of the people who are considered to be the best at it. In life, we would always have to make choices between two things or two persons and that does involve comparison. What I actually mean is it is a really bad idea to compare your whole life to the lives of people who appear to be better at just one or two aspects – his/her figure, talent, wealth, significant other, or intelligence – in such a way that it forms a feeling of envy and inadequacy inside ourselves.

There was a time when I was very active at social media and it was upsetting to look on Facebook or Instagram and see how others are experiencing day-to-day life, or how they are looking in pictures. They always seemed to be enjoying it in a more exciting manner. It sometimes filled a kind of envy in myself and discontent in my life, and instead of enjoying a moment I only thought of taking a very good picture of it so I can post it online and show people how I am also enjoying my days.

It happened to be that due to some circumstances I stopped using social media, and that was the time it came to my realization, that our achievements and celebrations will never suffice when we compare them to those who apparently look like to be the happiest people on the planet. I started appreciating my life just as it is. I felt so satisfied with the small things, and the big ones, I find joy in. Now I always have that feeling like I am the luckiest person in this world, because I have so much to be grateful for in my life.

When you compare yourself to the life of another person, you see all the negative situations or problems you are dealing with and only the superficial positive information about them. We are all stuck in a rut of comparison. This is not only dwelling on social media but is also present in our daily interactions with others. It creates a deep dissatisfaction within ourselves. We start to think that we cannot enjoy life to the fullest if we do not have what others have, or that life is just unfair to us somehow. We do not for any instant consider the gifts and blessings that God has given us without asking. It is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy.

I believe that the greater joy is in compassion than in comparison. This has always been true for my life. The problem is that we can’t stop comparing. Comparison is a fundamental part of being human, because it’s how we acquaint ourselves with reality. What we need to do is train ourselves how to compare properly, not cut ourselves off from the necessity of comparison. Leading our comparisons in the right direction — away from envy, pride, covetousness, and self-pity — will turn us into better companions, friends, parents, mentors, and better human beings.

I want my life to be my own goals. It may not look to be as glittering, because I don’t think I would want it to be. I don’t want the perfect world I see on Instagram. I want to relish the world I see with my eyes away from a screen. The app-filled world of adventuring, partying and artistic expression is often labelled as “goals”. Who made these goals? Who says you must have the best grades, travelled the world, have the prettiest face, and celebrated your birthday in a fancy restaurant to be perfectly happy? “Goals” for me is making my parents happy and proud, following my religion, having a nice snack and a good laugh with my friends, sleeping whenever I want without caring about dark circles, and doing well on an essay. BecauseYour life is your journey, not a race with others. We all need our own time to travel our own distance. It’s not about when, but how, you reach your destination.