Falling In Love As A Process Of Choices And Decisions
Falling in love is all about choices and decisions. Each of us decides to point out the qualities, the flaws, the needs and all the elements that push us to love our partner. We put and concentrate our energy on these details to show our ideal representation of love. Consequently, we are able to live and experience the wonderful reward of staying in a healthy relationship.
The author states that “you chose whom you fell love with, and you chose either to proceed with the relationship”. Indeed, Halberstam portrays that you always have a choice when it comes to love because you have agency over it. Indeed, you decide to go and find love; if you want to find the love you will find it, it all depends on your mindset. No one let lust become love; people do not control their feelings; however, they can control the outcome. Indeed, he portrays his point with the example of the woman finding her husband’s best friend attractive without necessarily letting her feelings for him become love. Even if she is attracted by another man; the woman controls the outcome of her feelings. She does not let her feelings be the source of her decision, and she decides and controls the possible consequences. When you invest time in something it will result in many consequences. Therefore, if you want to find love and start the search for it, there will be more chances that you end up in a relationship.
Personally, I consider that love is a choice once we start a relationship. Indeed, once you have decided that you have found the right person, it becomes a personal choice to pursue the relationship. However, falling in love is easy and as the author points out, it is a fluent term; it is about romance. The idea of a ‘’ we ‘’ falls when we brake. As a couple, you should be united and consider yourselves as a team. At the beginning of the relationship everything seems perfect and easy; both partners share the same thoughts and spend easily time together. At this stage, we are making decisions to see each other and learn about our personalities. However, after knowing each other for a while, love becomes a choice and the concept of decision takes a more important meaning. Indeed, both members of the couple chose to live with the flaws of their partner and cope with the little details that bother us. We prefer to look at the good in our partner and work together on the things that should be changed. Therefore, you value every characteristic of your loved one and accept them as they are. Therefore, every individual that enters a relationship must help his partner to become the better version of themselves without shaping each other’s to fulfill our own definition of perfection. We are all different and accepting those differences is part of love and a choice.
A visual representation of the situation would be described when it comes to the decisions we make. We can choose to ignore the bad habits, and irritating gestures our partner may do. Indeed, if our partner forgets to take out the garbage, or leaves the cap off the toothpaste, we can talk about it with them, but we also can accept that this just might be forgetful and choose to move on. Trying to change our loved one into us is one of the biggest relationships mistakes we can make. When we are unhappy with how things are in our relationship, it is easy to over-focus on what we are not getting from our couple. Instead, a better response is to focus on how we could help our partner, rather than focusing on what they are not doing for us. We should always try to be supportive because we cannot expect anything from our partner that we are not willing to give ourselves.
Another important choice we can make is to choose to remember the reasons why we committed to this person. Our relationship will have its ups and downs; there will be good times and even bad times that we will need to work through together. The key to surviving these situations is to remember to be respectful and work through every hardship we face. During these moments it really helps to remind ourselves of why we chose to love them in the first place. What makes a relationship romantic is that what interests you become your partner’s interests; you both complete each other’s and need the implication of both partners to keep a healthy and eternal love. Love is about choosing to forgive and let go of some of our expectations because it is a decision, not an emotion. Therefore, if you decide that love is a choice, you'll be able to stand back and realize that differences are part of the process and it just takes time to adjust.
