Helping To Develop A Positive Body Image In Children
A few years ago, a disturbing trend took over on social media: girls posted progress pictures of their ‘thigh gaps, ’ which meant being so skinny that their thighs wouldn’t touch even when they stood up with their legs close together. The trend was damaging because it glorified unhealthy habits and projected an image that encouraged women to lose an unrealistic amount of weight at the cost of their health. This is especially harmful to vulnerable teens and young adults who diligently follow viral trends on popular platforms like Instagram and Facebook. Body image is a sensitive topic at any age: for many people, their self-esteem is closely connected to their body type.
In the 2006 film, “Little Miss Sunshine, ” one of the protagonists is a little girl called Olive (Abigail Breslin) who aspires to win a beauty pageant meant for children. The movie deftly addresses body-related insecurities with thought-provoking scenes such as a shot of the seven-year-old expectantly waiting for a sweet treat as her father, in a misguided attempt to help her, intervenes. He tells her that eating the kind of food she is fond of will result in a body that won’t be conventionally attractive. The scene is startling and not far from reality: the pressure to look perfect and have a great body is very real. Glossy images in the media often showcase a narrow definition of beauty — picture flawless skin, luscious straight hair and a tall, skinny woman. This puts pressure on children to conform to harmful body stereotypes encouraged by the media. It’s important to teach kids about positive body image in a safe and consistent manner. These are difficult times: the internet is flooded with photoshopped images and posts that portray unrealistic representations of beauty and size. If you’re thinking of teaching your kid to love their body and focus on being happy and healthy, here are a few tips to get you started. Practice what you preachFor many young kids, their parents are major influencers in their lives - people they look up to and learn the most from. Children often pick up habits and behavioural traits at home and are extremely vulnerable to what they observe in their normal environment. This is why it’s extremely important to focus on building a happy, positive space at home.
Remember that your child will often mimic your actions and thoughts. If they see you complaining about the size of your stomach and experimenting with severely restricted diets to lose weight, they will get influenced. Your kid may even walk up to you someday and ask whether they can get on the diet with you!
Do focus on yourself and exercise regularly for a healthy body and mind. Examine your issues and deep-rooted insecurities about your own body. If you feel frustrated with your love handles or have battled an eating disorder in the past, make you address these issues in a responsible manner. Never act out in front of your child by binging or not eating enough and censor your bad habits as much as you can. Seek professional help if necessary and be extra mindful around your child by having positive conversations about their body and marvelling at the things they can do. Never say something negative like they must watch what they eat if they want to be admired when they grow up. Or they’re too skinny and need to put on weight and eat more to look good. Be wary of harmful generalizations in the media and regulate your child’s media consumption. Teach your child to embrace home cooked, healthy meals and eat the same things as they do. Leave room for a little indulgence once in a while such as a couple of pieces of chocolate or an ice cream session with the rest of the family. While you should make sure that most of their food habits encourage clean eating, never make them wary of certain food items. Don’t make junk food the absolute enemy, coaxing them to make better choices instead and allowing them to enjoy unhealthier snacks in small portions at times. You could wait for a special occasion such as a birthday dinner or the end of a school term for a special treat.
Address all the stereotypes
Whether your kid feels pressured to have silky, smooth hair or glowing skin without acne, it’s important to address these points instead of brushing them aside or ignoring them. Explain to them why our differences make us beautiful and that they should not feel compelled to change anything about themselves. Tell them celebrities have project a certain flawless image that isn’t necessary true and they have a team to make them look the way they do.
Come up with a few exercises such as mentioning things you’re grateful for and acknowledging the wonderful qualities everyone in the family has. When your kid feels unsure about themselves, prompt them by asking them something like “aren’t you grateful for how fast your legs let you run? Or “doesn’t your cool ability to easily solve math riddles make you feel like you have your own superpower?”Acknowledge that both boys and girls feel the need to stick to conventional ideas of an ideal body type. Help your son and daughter celebrates their individual personalities. They may feel forced to adhere to gender rules while growing up. For example, a teenage boy may feel insecure about the lack of facial hair on his face and compare himself to his contemporaries.
Or your 14-year-old daughter may feel ashamed about her body hair and worry excessively about hair removal methods. Introduce her to positive icons such as 27-year-old Harnaam Kaur, a woman who chooses to proudly display her facial hair which she has on account of a medical condition, polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). Kaur is now a Guinness World Record holder and a proud activist, encouraging women to love themselves and not give in to societal pressure. It’s also important to understand that an underweight kid may feel bad about being too thin and may also have to endure body shaming in school or at home. Again, focus on their strengths, maintaining a healthy lifestyle and teach them to confident and sure of themselves. Teach your children to understand that there’s no fixed definition of what normal looks like and that it’s good to be different. Additionally, pay close attention to bullying in your child’s environment and address major problems immediately. Lots of tools exist online that may help you teach younger kids early on to love themselves such as this story, “Henry and Leslie” that encourages children to accept themselves in every way possible.
Your words matter
Do participate in long conversations with your child about body positivity and what it means. For instance, if your child plays a sport, compliment them on their strength and stamina and how much they’ve improved over the years. Never use harsh language while talking to them about their body even if you’re introducing them to the concept of mindful eating. Patiently explain why it’s important to have a healthy body and how good eating habits can help. For example, talk to them about how eating vegetables regularly can help them stave off pesky illnesses such as a persistent cold and help develop a strong immune system. If you see them referring to someone as fat or ugly, always correct them and make them understand why it’s inconsiderate to talk like that.
It’s a great idea to introduce your older children to successful, strong body positive icons such as British actress Lena Dunham, American actor Chris Pratt, American model Ashley Graham, and British singer Ed Sheeran. Influential celebrities who take a stand against harmful stereotypes can really boost a child’s morale and help them embrace the right habits such as making healthy food choices. In an interview in February this year, Sheeran spoke about how he felt insecure about his weight and wondered whether his looks should be more conventionally appealing after entering the music industry. “As soon as you become in the public eye and people start picking holes in you, you start thinking things are bad for you. Like, 'Am I fat?’” he said. After experimenting with a few diets, he decided to accept a more realistic approach and work out regularly.
Reading stories about body positivity with school-going kids is also useful. In “Shapesville, ” readers are encouraged to celebrate the beauty found in all kinds of shapes and sizes, encouraging them to develop a more inclusive idea of beauty. In “Brontorina, ” kids are introduced to a determined dinosaur who wishes to be a dancer and doesn’t let size conventions stop her, fighting outdated rules to do what she wants to do. Remember to help your child understand that fat doesn’t automatically mean bad and words shouldn’t be used carelessly when talking to someone who’s overweight. It’s also a good idea to encourage them to understand the importance of an inclusive approach and not refer to someone overweight as being flawed by default. A considerate approach, great role models, a healthy lifestyle and a loving space can really help children learn to accept their bodies in positive ways. They should be taught to celebrate their strengths, work on their weaknesses and to never put themselves down because of societal conventions or outdated stereotypes.
