My Experiences Of Everyday Racism
According to an article by Hechinger report, black teachers make up about 7 percent of the population. I went through my K-12 years, and undergraduate career never experiencing a person of color as a teacher. I spent part of my elementary educational experience in North Highlands in a diverse community before my family moved. My parents who migrated from Kenya in the 80’s, were given a great deal on a rental duplex home across town in Roseville. They decided to move our family somewhere safer for us to grow up in. Growing up both of my parents worked hard to make a better life for our family. My father, pushed for us to have the best education we could possibly have even if it meant plucking us into uncertainty and unfamiliarity.
In my new school, I was one of the few black students and I knew that meant I had to work harder to prove myself. I suffered from discrimination from my peers as well as my teachers. In high-school, I found myself lost in a sea of hundreds of students. In one instance I remember persistently trying to get into an AP class and my counselor told me no, it is not for me. In another, I remember my peers calling me derogatory names, and laughing because they thought I would be more upset with them. In this moments I felt alone. I felt that I had no one to back me up. I just wanted to be heard and to be seen for the inner parts not being pre judged based on the color of my skin. This was the point where I had two choices. Either sit back, or do something. I was determined to turn something that was negative in my life to something positive. I wanted to unify the black students at my school. Too many times I felt alone and demeaned at school. My peers and I decided to create a club called Essence to empower black girls on our campus.
My first year of high school I tried constantly to prove myself, which ultimately lead to my failure in academics. I blamed my failures on my teachers, when in fact I was me who was too busy trying to prove myself. I didn’t have the courage to ask questions in class or ask for help. I pretended I knew it all. As the end of my high school career was approaching, I knew if I wanted to go to college something had to change. I remember my favorite teacher in high school, who was my track coach Mr. Hardy told me, “If you want something, you have to go and get it. Look at this way. If there are only 1 pair of your favorite shoes at the store and someone else wants them too are you going to walk or are you going to run. How bad do you want it?” I started involving myself in extracurricular activities at school that involved children. I tutored children in low income areas, I was in a leadership physical education program where we taught PE lessons to elementary school students, and I involved myself in giving back to the community. Upon graduating highschool, I got my first job at Raley’s Grocery in Roseville. Navigating the work place while being black was a rough experience for me. I experienced discrimination from my co-workers and customers which made the work environment uncomfortable for me. I remember as a cashier, a lady who refused to go through my line and created a huge scene. I remember going into the bookkeeping room and crying. It stung me, but it took me a long time to understand why it really hurt. In another instance one of my co-workers called me a monkey, and made monkey noises and movements. When I reported this to my boss, she said don’t tell anyone about this you have to keep quiet about this. As I went through college, I learned quickly that I had to hustle, and look for opportunities for my success.
As I navigated and moved about white space, the first thing I always would take note of are how many black people are present. The presence of familiar faces or other black faces brought me a measure of comfort that is unexplainable. During my last year at Sacramento state I decided I needed to engage and find community on campus. I joined various clubs some of those being Black Student Union, and the African Student Association. These clubs were a safe place for me to express myself. Before I started this program at UC Davis, I had many doubts and concerns. A main concern being, are there classes on social justice and equity and if there were any black students or professors in the program. I remember talking with my good friend Cristhian pouring out my concerns. There is something he told me that stuck with me and I wont forget. He said, “Ruth, almost everywhere you go, you will be the only black woman. You can’t let that create fear or dictate what you choose to do. You will bring a different view of life to people who are unaware. ”
I realize that my experiences of everyday racism are not that important in the grander scheme of things and they don’t define who I am. I am not bitter or angry at my experiences but I am rather forgiving. I know that I am not the most privileged and not the most oppressed. I know that there are people of different cultures who are trying to survive in this world with less resources than I have. As a black person who knows the white world, I know that there is ignorance and prejudice there, but there is also pain, suffering and struggle.
I am thankful to my parents and college professors who have helped me to notice and name racism and discrimination as I navigated through life. They have helped me to understand my personal experience and, just as importantly, to see beyond it. I have become convinced that black liberation is intertwined with human liberation.
