Striving To Be Better Than Ever
Imagine feeling alone, hopeless, useless, rejected and on the verge of tears at school for over a year. A meltdown that happens every day because of the target on my back. Having to go to a dull, dark and cynical place every day and putting a happy face on just to show everyone that I was fine, like nothing ever happened. This took a lot of courage and strength out of me, all because someone was jealous of me. I chose this poem because the line “There will come a time we believe” relates to me back in that ugly time of my life.
There was a time where I believed if I was even going to be seen by anyone, if I was going to find friends again because it seemed wherever I went the bad people made sure others knew my story, the story the bad people made up to follow me around. I never thought that in my life I would be bullied at my first school. I never thought that I would be the one child in my family to move schools but I now know I made a good choice. Coming to Assumption made me want to enjoy school again. Now in my life since I moved schools I’ve seen the brighter side of everything. I’m so much happier in life now than I was back then. I’m a whole different person. During my bad time I was ignored by everyone at school and when they saw me coming they would move out the way like I had a disease. I would be called names and pushed around like I was no one. Other girl’s parents would give me looks. Coming home every day after school I would go straight to my room and let every tear I had just pour out of my eyes. I would make my family sad especially my mom because she could see the hurt and pain I was going through. I never wanted to go out on the weekends I would even skip schools some days because I knew I could not face them that day. Some teachers were caring of my situation but not the principle she seemed to just let it happen. All because of this bad time in my life I do not really like going out because I’m afraid to socialize. I became very conscious of my body and what I wear.
To this day I can’t see the girls who bullied me face to face as they still continue to look at me and talk while pointing at me. They still move out the way when they see me. I lost a part of me that whenever I know I’m going to see them I get scared and begin to feel sick. There will come a time where we believe that we not needed by anyone and therefore isolate ourselves. But there will be a time where no matter what has happened we are needed in some way and by someone. Every story has a silver lining. Going back I think to myself that my tough time that I went through was a blessing in disguise as now I’m a stronger person. Now when people ask me how am I?, I reply “I’m better than ever”.
