The Religion View On Premarital Sex
Growing up, my religious factors influenced and shaped how I perceived and understood what sex was and what it meant as a Catholic believer. Through most of my childhood, my mother, who was an intensely loyal devotee of Catholicism, instilled many of her religious practices on me. Her intense devotion to the catholic religion was most often time exasperated by our Latino heritage as it is noted that 64% of Canadians of Latin American origin are of the Catholic faith. For that reason, I was often made to attend church, read the bible and pray nightly. It was understood to me that without these activities, I was not a good catholic. It was through these intense religious aspects that I learned several key things regarding sexuality. The first being sex must be saved for marriage, and premarital sex is sinful and, therefore, entry into hell and damnation. The second being that one's virginity is saved only for Christ. By following these aspects, I would become an honourable woman and maintain a pleasant girl demeanour. Yet I always believed that something was not right about these teachings.
My mother has never discussed sexual health, usage of contraceptives, sexually transmitted infections or general emotional feelings. Due to the lack of communication from my mother, I frequently felt perplexed about what was happening to my body, yet I was too embarrassed to ask questions. This created a lot of shame for myself, as I did not know if what was happening to my body was healthy or not. It also created many self-esteem issues as I believed my body was abnormal.
As I became a teen, these conflicting religious factors were always in the back of my mind. I adamantly tried to follow those spiritual teachings; however, at 16, I became involved in my first relationship. With this new relationship, I became confused between what my catholic teachings had taught me and what I wanted to do. If I engaged in premarital sex, I would be dammed to hell. I would no longer have my virginity as I had promised Christ. My teen relationship ultimately leads me to lose my virginity at 16. After losing my virginity, I became flooded with emotions and panic. I had now believed that I was now damned. Since I had engaged in primatial sex, no one would want to marry me as I had now become sinful. The amount of guilt I felt was tremendous. Yet, since I engaged in premarital sex, I believed it was too late to be deemed honourable and continued to engage in premarital sex. Within our society, the idea of a good girl–evil girl paradox often shapes the sexual subjectivities of teenage girls as they experience their sexual feelings or desires. They may begin to experience an uncertainty about their sexual feelings, resist their passion, or act upon it while negotiating the social costs of becoming a bad girl. This inner conflict is something, my religious influences made me believe for a long time that primatial sex was evil, and those who participated in it were sinful and unworthy.
For that reason, as an adult, I engaged in premarital sex quite often and created the foundation that sex before marriage is okay. I continued to stay away from the catholic church completely as I believed it offered to many contradictions with sex. Findings also indicate that individuals who grow up in a nonreligious childhood home have higher levels of sexual satisfaction as young adults then unmarried individuals who internalized their religious teachings. This further reaffirmed my choice to stay away from the church. I also still carry the constant notion in my mind that I'm not a perceived good girl. I view myself today as someone who takes more risk and leans towards the characteristics of a bad girl.
My religious experiences as a child have taught me to be more understanding of individuals who hold different spiritual aspects with regards to sexual development. These differences give a better understanding of clients and possible treatments concerning potential sexual problems.
