Understanding Of The Habits Of Highly Effective People According To By Stephen R. Covey
When you think of what makes a person successful what comes to mind? Money? Stature? Popularity? Yes these are things people see as valuable within our society but does this make them effective in what they do? This paper intends to dive into the writings of Stephen R. Covey. In his book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” Covey takes a look at what it takes to be a highly effective person within today’s society. The 7 habits that he uncovers are found to be useful in many walks of life and also useful to many different parts of a person’s life, such as; your love life, your business life, relationships with your family and friends, and most of all your personal life. He takes a strong stance in how you must become a highly effective person. The habits all come from an internal perspective and never searches for answers to problems from the outside. He states that the 7 habits can all be found within ourselves and are all part of what makes us who we are, but the habits may not present themselves in our everyday lives, so it is up to ourselves to seek out these behaviors and make them habits in order to become highly effective people ourselves. Success does not mean you are an effective person, he talks about those people that have found success but still struggle to find person effectiveness and healthy relationships. So we must ask ourselves, what are the habits to be a highly effective person and how will the make ourselves a more personal success story?
We often look for habits that might make us a better person, but when we look to others to see how they perceive us and we usually don’t get the results we are looking for as a person. Being a reflective person seems to be key in tackling the 7 habits that Covey has laid out within this book. If you can’t self-reflect then I believe that the journey ends before you even pick up the book. But within the book he sets forth on a personal journey that takes a look at what he describes as being a highly effective person. Early on in the book he talks about the way public image has affected what we see in a successful person. He found this through literary means, he studies over 200 years of literature that would talk about the concept of success. He found that in the past 50 years, the idea of success shifted from a character ethic to a personality ethic which included; social image, consciousness, techniques and quick fixes. In the previous 150 years of literature, success included; integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, the golden rule, etc. We often look for the quick answer to adjusting our character but still leave the bigger problems, which will continue to show itself. We often see the characteristics that we would find admirable and simply ask, “How do you do it? Teach me the techniques. " What they're really saying is, "Give me some quick fix advice or solution that will relieve the pain in my own situation. ” He talks about these quick fixes being Band-Aids and aspirin and yield short term fixes for a greater problem. Covey says that, “The way we see the problem is the problem. ”
We can now get into the meat and potatoes of the book, the 7 habits. Covey splits the 7 habits into 3 groups. Habits 1, 2, and 3 deal with self-mastery and a move from being dependent to a feeling of independence. Once the first habits have set a good base you can work on habits 4, 5, and 6, which focus on teamwork, cooperation and communication. But he makes a note that you do not have to be perfect with the first 3 habits before you work on the other 3. The last habit embodies the previous 6 habits as it is the habit of continual growth and understanding.
The first habit is to be proactive. Often we can look at our lives and see that we choose to see how our life has turned out. Being self-aware helps with the ability to be proactive as it helps us to take responsibility for our own actions. Being proactive helps you take control of your life and realize you have a choice in the way you view your life and problems. If you play a reactive role in the way you view problems you tend to look at your problems as the effect of an outside situation causing your own personal problems. Covey talks about the importance of choosing and how we react to stimulus.
The second habit he has set forth on us is to begin with the end in mind. He opens the second habit with an exercise, one which includes seeing your own demise. Making a visual representation of what your own funeral would be like, who would show up and what would certain people say about your life from those who know you on a personal level. This is a very powerful way to prove the effectiveness of habit 2. “To Begin with the End in Mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means to know where you're going so that you better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction. Beginning with the end in mind helps us to reshape our lives to reflect not only what others would see but also helps to hold ourselves accountable for the goals we seek in our lives.
Habit number 3 talks about how we must put first things first. Now what does this mean exactly, it means that we must be able to effectively prioritize things and actions that we find important not most urgent. We now see the importance of the first 2 habits and how they involve themselves in habit 3. Being proactive and putting the end in mind come together so that we may put the goals we have for ourselves in order of what we hold the most important in our life. Habit 1 gives you ownership, habit 2 gives you a visualization of your goals and habit 3 is the physical manifestation of those goals. “It's the day-in, day-out, moment-by-moment doing it. ” We can categorize things in our life in 2 categories, urgent and important. Things that are urgent aren’t necessarily important, what may be an urgent matter to you, does not mean it takes priority over something that is important. Covey says, “The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities. ”
Think win-win. The 4th habit steps away from working from within and looks towards making interdependent relationships. When working with other people it is important that we make win-win situations, these are situations that are beneficial to both parties. He goes into detail about other paradigms such as win-lose, lose-win and so on, but he says that the best option is win-win but says a win-win or no deal is important to use as a backup. The use of a no deal situation helps you to not try and push harder than you might if you felt that a win-win situation was the only option. When a person goes in with a win-win situation in mind, they are looking for an amicable resolution, and it is important to recognize both parties are in agreement or there might be withdrawal in later situations.
Next we will have a look at habit 5, seek first to understand, then to be understood. This is a key element in effective interpersonal communication. We, as people, find that we are quick to speak once we think we understand what a person is trying to tell us. “We have such a tendency to rush in, to fix things up with good advice. But we often fail to take the time to diagnose, to really, deeply understand the problem first.” To be able to communicate that you understand a person must come first. It is important to also understand that this cannot be done with technique alone. People, at times, tend to see through a technique and once they do they might feel that you are trying to manipulate them and might not feel safe in opening themselves up to you. So it is important that you are actively listening so that you can develop a strong interpersonal relationship. He uses the phrase of diagnosing before you prescribe, and I feel this is an important way of thinking, since we tend to respond in four ways, we evaluate, we probe, we advise or we interpret.
Synergize. “When properly understood, synergy is the highest activity in all life -- the true test and manifestation of all the other habits put together. ” Everything comes to a head when we talk about habit 6. It brings in the 5 other habits and makes new possibilities which can happen through being open and having creativity. It is making the whole great than the sum of its parts. In practice, once you enter a situation with a win-win mentality and you are trying to seek to understand first, you begin to see yourself and your group on the same side of a problem and you understand what needs to be accomplished.
Lastly, we have come to habit 7, sharpen the saw. After reading this book you should not be thinking that you are now a finished product. To reach these 7 habits you must practice and strive for perfection. A growth mindset is key in retaining these habits for every aspect of your life. He also states that there are 4 dimensions of our nature: physical, spiritual, mental and social/emotional. These 4 dimensions encapsulate all 6 habits and must be practiced regularly. To sharpen the saw is talking about renewal, since synergy is the use of all 5 other habits, one must concur that you can renew habit 6 to sharpen all other habits. “We deceive ourselves if we think that any one of these is sufficient. To keep progressing, we must learn, commit, and do -- learn, commit, and do -- and learn, commit, and do again. ”
