Why Everything is About to Change

You’re growing as a person every second of the day. You mature and develop feelings. People change constantly: we love, hate, and argue with our dearest loved ones. People fall in love, but they also fall out of love. Well, my parent's fell in love, but then lost their love for each other. They went through a 'change' in life. I chose to write “everything is about to change” essay to share personal statement about this topic. 

Growing up, things were good. Life was great. It was the ‘perfect’ family if you like - my mum, dad and me. This was one of the greatest most positive parts of my life, as nothing was going wrong, everything had just seemed to fall into place. I have always and always will have a soft spot for my dad. He was the good cop. He was the one I could turn too if something was wrong; but more so he was the one who let me off with anything. I always remember this one day as if it was yesterday. My friend’s and I really wanted to have a sleepover, but everyone’s mums, including mine, said no. However, my dad took one for the team and let us all stay over at our house. As harmless as this sounds my mum was now like a raging bull with a red flag being waved in front of its face. She felt my dad had gone behind her back. She was not chuffed in anyway, at all.

Skip forward now, say nearly a year and a bit down the line - things were not as rosy as it seemed. The tables were turning very slowly but they were turning. My dad was starting to become just as bad a cop as my mum was. This had all seemed to be building up over time, and now everything was starting to ware off and all this tension just came bursting out. I could not talk to anyone, well at least without my head been bitten right of my shoulders. This was the start of the journey if you like. My mum and dad were having ‘grown-up issues’. For as young as I was, I do not remember every detail, but I sure can remember how I felt. I was trying my best to keep things as normal as possible, but really what could I have done to help any of them? I had to just mind my own business, keep myself to myself, no matter how much I wanted my parents to solve their problems. The big question is, why did I react like this? Looking back now I think I kept out of the situation as best as I could, as I didn’t want to pick a parents side, or make one feel less loved than the other- I just wanted everything to be fine, back to normal; but mostly everyone feeling loved equally. However, I knew my parents were becoming more and more distant with each other and believe me it was developing fast. For me this just created an image that they didn’t love each other anymore and comparing it back to say a year ago from then it was like two different people living two separate lives.

I would probably say this was one of my top three most distressing moments, throughout my whole life so far. My parents splitting up. This was not just one of their pathetic arguments which resulted in one of them moving out for the night; this was the real deal. It had been building up for quite a while now; the tension in the house was unbearable at times, it was like sitting in a war zone. It was rather strange to be a part of, as I was so used to it being this perfect family; and then suddenly it was just ripped a part. I always felt rather unsteady and like I needed reassurance for everything that was going on, as I never knew where I would end up going; or who I would go with- would my psychotic mother at the time take me or my beloved father?

Just like I thought, my parents went their separate ways. My mum moved on, but my dad still thought there was hope. My mum did not let me see my dad for a good period of time; in fact, at least half of the year! This broke me completely. I felt as if someone had ripped my heart out and crushed it up into pieces. Personally, I think that I felt this way as I was and still am so close to my dad, so to not have him in my life for that amount of time was sole destroying; as you don’t realize how much you miss something until you don’t have it. But I think to myself, would I still feel like this if it was my mum? This was near enough as heart breaking as losing my dearest beloved Nanna four years ago. Now losing her was hard, but not being able to see my dad was even harder. In my opinion the only reason I never laid eyes on my dad for that amount of time, was because she wanted to hurt my dad where she knew it would break him the most. As I was only young, I had no idea or even knew why they ended the relationship, and still do not know to this very day why they broke things off - this situation I chose to share in one of the essays about change.

Fast forward now to this present day. Unfortunately, my sweet dad still has not found a new sole mate and is still on his own, but still carries on as if nothing in the world can step in his way. Despite this my mum has clicked with someone else and has created a new family with her new significant other. My dad took this on the chin, as of course he still had feelings for my mum, but he just had to be mature and adult like about it; as he didn’t want any more conflict being created. I really look up to my dad for his reaction towards this situation as it just shows how much of a caring person he really is, and that he would do anything to see others happy. My mum and her partner have been together for around ten years now and I hope to god they always will be; as I just simply cannot go through another parent breakup. As much as I admire the pair of them together, I would have somewhat preferred my dad to find a new connection. I feel my dad puts everyone except himself first in life and would go above and beyond to give a helping hand; but I think this is his way in forgetting about the past, and not thinking about moving on. As much as my dad may like this way of moving on, I wish he would just try and put himself first for a change and make himself his priority- as this genuinely would make me feel so happy.

Now regarding my mum’s relationship that is well and truly under way now. They have their times when it looks like a storm, but I guess that is how the boat rocks. They love each other so much but sometimes it is that bit overwhelming it comes to breaking point, and my siblings and I never know what is going to happen. The big question I always ask myself is- when is it going to happen next? Quite recently they went through a break and I would say it affected me greatly. I always become very weary to what is happening. Am I going to be staying at my mum’s, my dad’s a hotel? I never know. When it reaches points like this, I just think to myself, what would happen if my parents were still together.

Throughout my whole life I would say I have been through what most thirty-year old's have been through- one hectic rollercoaster that never seems to end. I have watched my loved ones hit rock bottom; many times. I have seen them being hurt. But more importantly I have lost the most caring, sweetest person that was always there to put back the pieces; and build things back up again. If I was to give anyone a piece of advice to avoid what I have been through it would be- never attach yourself to someone too much and cherish every single moment in life; you never know what tomorrow brings.

To conclude essay about changes in my life, having lived through these events, I look up to my parents dearly. The fact that I have seen what they have been through in life, and what life throws at you, I know I conquer anything. I thank my parents for the way they are and continue to be. I feel I have been passed some courage to just go for anything in life, and what will be, will be. Looking back on everything, I would not change a single thing.